So less than a week ago my friend broke up with his girlfriend and now she is in rehab. We've been catching up and talking a lot since then and are going to hang out this weekend. I like him a lot and always have but I was friends with his GF too so I stayed far away. However she is now a crazy drug addict and he is completely done with her as are most of her friends. So should I wait a certain amount of time before letting him know I'm interested? I don't want to be a rebound - they were together for ten years. Me and his ex were never super close but we hung out a lot a couple years back and had/have a bunch of mutual friends. Is it ever too soon to swoop?
Just be there for him right now. As he moves on, gradually swoop in. Give him time, I was a rebound and it never works out. nobody can give a specific time, because each situation is different.
If you're worried about his ex, then don't worry about it. She's in no position to be in a relationship and i wouldn't worry about it, she's already hit rock bottom. But he's probably not going to be ready for anything else for a long time, but that rebound stuff is kinda dumb and i don't buy it. I'd say just be there for him and eventually if he's interested he'll show you, and then just reciprocate.
This is a redudant question silly, the point of swooping is to get in there ASAP! Regardless of the feelings, your a fuckin' predator just swooping in!
You can swoop in any time, just realize because of recent events you need to be prepared to get your feelings under control and be very gentle and accommodating with him for what may be quite some time 10 years is a lot to let go for anyone. So as long as you are cognizant of his situation and emotional state and treat it as such you should be fine. I think most rebound relationships bomb out b/c the non rebound party goes into the relationship as if both parties are emotionally stable and they are not...they don't take enough of a look beyond their own desires to realize that in order to make this really work and establish a healthy relationship, a deep bond with someone that it may have to be all about the other person for a while. This may require quite a bit of effort, it may not be so bad....but odd's are it isn't so good, are you ready to deal if things are a bit more fucked up than they appear on the surface? There is the chance this could blow up and you lose a friend, is the risk worth the reward? Are you willing to pay the price if it's not? I'm not trying to piss on your parade, just trying to offer a friendly yet objective POV and some pragmatic/rationalist questions you might want to mull over a bit before pulling the trigger.
Holy shit, ten years? They were going out longer than half my lifetime. But you gotta worry about that crazy drug addict ex if you do get what you want.
Thanks for all the advice guysss. I'm just gonna take it slow and become reaquainted as friends and see how it goes from there.
Wtf shes drugged up and out her mind better get to her before she gets to her senses. But really thats what it sounded like.. 10 years with yor friend yor still cool with FUCK THAT move on totally and let her get her life together without a reminder of the past, I know you want to be there for her but she needs new things obviously the old wasnt working.
I don't get why everyone's hating on the rehab girl. Look at it from her perspective guys.. -Boyfriend of 10 years dumps her -Turns to unmentionables for 'support' -Goes to rehab seeking help -All friends she has abandon her, deeming her "crazy" Could you imagine if one of your friends hooks up with your ex of 10 years within the first couple of weeks? It'd destroy her. Don't get me wrong, I don't know the story at all, just giving you another way to look at it. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do!
Logic is not my strong suit haha. I rush into everything. And then I lose interest Well I didn't really go into details on her sitch but this has been going on for a long time. Her and her now ex bf have been together since HS and still have all the same friends, and they were all a bunch of addicts for a long time. But they all got clean and straitened out except for her. She went to rehab for a few months last year and her BF stayed with her and they even got a house together. The last 6 months she's been doing some really shady shit. Stealing from her BF and family, borrowing money from bad people, disappearing for days at a time. So that's why he broke up with her. If she cleans up all her friends will be around still but for now she definitely needs help.
Nah, fuck all that thinking shit. Wait 3 weeks. Then get a little high a little tipsy and put that pussy on him.
