Sup blades, got a problem for ya. I'm an 18 year old guy. I've been accepted to both a local community college, and another one a few hours away where I'd live on campus. I want to stay at home for my first 2 years, so I don't have to leave my friends, etc.. but my parents are strict about the stupidest things. Cause of this, I want to leave just so I have the freedom... (I'd really prefer to stay at home though) - I can't have my girlfriend sleep over. (Unless I crash on the couch..) - I can't go to parties / drink (I'm in Ontario.. the legal age is 19.. I'm 1 year off) - Curfew of 11 PM on school nights (Really? I'm a legal adult) I get these are fairly reasonable requests on their part. It's just, I feel I'm at the stage in my life where I need to start making my OWN decisions. Learn from my mistakes. This is supposed to be my growing experience, and I almost feel like if I stay home for college, I'll lose out on; -Co-ed sleepovers -No curfews -Etc I just want to make my own decisions, you know? It's not that I want to do all of those things ALL THE TIME - I just want the freedom to be able to. Thoughts?
if you live with your parents, you gotta respect their rules. They're the ones paying for a roof over your head after all. I say go to the college an hour away so you can live independetly. You'll learn a lot more when you have to do things by yourself. And if there's one thing I've learned from being a few hours away from my family here, it's how much I took my parents for granted when I was in high school.
@ Jack - It's not that bad. Their house, their rules.. simple as that. Truth. I feel like college is the bridge from adolescence to adulthood. The time where you start making your own decisions - they stop making them for you. I'm thinking if I stay home for it, I'll miss that *VERY* important growing experience, y'know? I don't want to be "that guy" that uses it as a sort of Blackmail, but would it be unreasonable to basically say; "Look, if I go away I'm living on my own, if I stay here I've got all of these rules. What do you think I'm going to pick?" Edit: They also really want me to stay back for the first 2 years as well. (I'm leaving for 3 after regardless) I'd love to stay though. I really want some more time with my friends.
I don't think those are enough to leave. Sleep at your girlfriends house. Can't you say I'm going to hang with friends-party? Curfew is dumb but only weekdays makes it less harsh
It's not going to happen. It's their house.....sorry. Wish I could help you. Move out so that you don't ever have to worry about that shit. I thought I had it bad, but curfew at 11pm? I'm still getting ready at that time lol or just getting ready to head out.
i honestly cant see how this is a hard choice but op go to school leave the nest dont miss this important exp just for meger comfort of friends who prolly about to maybe not be friends thats for the future to tell
To be fair, that's on weekdays. I don't have a curfew on weekends. But the entire; "No drinking because it's illegal, no co-ed sleepovers just cause" thing peeves me a lot more. It's like; fuck. I stay here & I get babied around all day. I go away to college, I do what I want, when I want. I live on my own, and don't consult anybody for ANY of my decisions. I go away to join the army / military, I'm treated the EXACT same as someone twice my age. I'm an adult, I feel I should be treated as one.
Yeah, you have a point. Thing is, I have 5 years of schooling total. So, even if I was to stay back for my first 2 years, I'd have 3 away on campus. I just want the away part now.
Definitely go live on campus Aren't any of your friends going to school? I mean obviously you're going to miss hanging out with them, but you'll make plenty of friends at college College is going to be the best four years of your life (or five apparently), no reason to waste two years feeling like you're still in high school
A couple are going away, but the majority are staying back a year for a victory lap. And the program I'd be doing locally is actually only one year, then I'd be off for 4. (My mistake). That way I'd be leaving with my friends too, y'know? Fuck. I could always get a student loan (Or maybe parental funds), and live on campus locally? Waste of money, man.. waste of money
Bruh, I'm 22 and still kinda get babied. Then again, I live with them. I can't say anything. They support me. Parents will never understand. They are from different times....and you will always be their baby. In fact, anyone 18 is still a kid to me lol but yeah, go live on campus and do w/e you want. It's the only solution.
I suppose. I'm fine with the 11PM on school nights though - any later and I'm usually dead the next day. Still, it's the principle, right? The party thing - I can sort of understand this one. Legal drinking age is 19 where I live, and I'm only 18. They're "it's illegal" reasoning I can get on with.. still sucks though. The girl sleeping over thing - not so much. If I go away - I can have a girl over any time I want. Why's it a big deal if the two of us sleep in the same bed?
Yeah. I'll admit, I'm still a kid. Doesn't help I'm an only child. They're sensible people, so before I decide on going away I'm probably going to have a discussion with them about this. I'd really like the same freedom if I was to stay here, as if I was going to leave.
Can I give you their # bro? I've made honor roll every year in High-School. I've held down a job for over 3 years now. (Started working when I was 15). Obviously I'm responsible enough to make smart decisions, no? I've tried sitting down with them about the entire party scene, and long-story short their only argument was "It's illegal".
The bottom line is that you're going to college for YOU. Don't rearrange your life because your friends want to jerk around for a year. If I tailored my life to what some of my friends did after high school I'd have gotten an associate's degree in six years and landed a sweet minimum wage job in the town I grew up in. I chose to go to a four year college, live on campus and focus on what was best for me. I still had winter and summer vacation to hang out with my old friends and fall and spring to hang out with my college friends, which was equally as memorable. Don't worry about growing apart from your high school friends because it's going to happen sooner or later, so do what's best for you in the long term.
[quote name='"harley19"'] Yeah, you have a point. Thing is, I have 5 years of schooling total. So, even if I was to stay back for my first 2 years, I'd have 3 away on campus. I just want the away part now.[/quote] ull never get those 2 yrs agsin it can completely change your life
And now back to my original problem. I appreciate your replies though man. They really help Also; I know I can get away with going to parties. I have before. I just hate lying to my parents - I respect them and I just want to be able to have an open relationship with them. Blargh.