How NOT to roll a joint: A detailed, idiots guide to rolling.

Hey Grasscity!

So I know there are many guides to rolling out there, and some of them are really good. However, I found when I was learning, that some details were missed. So here I am, contributing my own guide. There are no step by step pictures, because there are plenty out there on the internet, and the details I will be describing need no pictures. Said details are clearly marked with a big, friendly NOOB WARNING.

Also, see my guide on rolling roaches:
http://forum.grasscity.com/apprentice-tokers/675676-easys-guide-rolling-roaches.html#post8462133

So without further ado, I present to you:

The idiot's guide to rolling



Note, the above joint is an example of one which has been badly rolled.

STEP THE FIRST
Get all your gear onto a sheet of paper, mat or whatever you want. Just don't roll onto an exposed surface (having something to roll on makes cleanup much easier). Papers, roach, tobacco (if you want) and of course, some dank ass weed.

So first off, grind up your weed. Grinders are amazing. Buy one. Knives and scissors work great too. Tearing it up in your fingers works, but is time consuming and your weed will be clumpy and harder to roll. Only use your fingers if nothing else is available.

If you're using tobacco, mix it in now. Depending on how strong you want your joint, mix in more or less. The amount of tobacco you use all depends on the strength you want, the weed, the tobacco, and personal preference. I usually go about 60/40 weed/tobacco, using tobacco from a normal cigarette.

NOOB WARNING: Don't grind up too little weed (grammar fail) or tobacco. This will result in a small joint (as shown in my pic). It's better to have too much, as you can simple take some out during the actual rolling. And it's not like you're just going to throw it away! You can stash it and use it next time.

NUUUUMBER TWO
Now take a sheet of your rolling paper of choice (OCB slims are my favorite). You'll notice the paper has a fold running length-ways down the middle. Keep the paper folded along this line, and just roll it between your fingers, as though you were rolling it with weed inside. This gives the paper a slight curve, which (in my opinion) makes things easier later.

Now, hold your paper as shown in ElendGold's AMAZING turorial:
http://forum.grasscity.com/apprenti...tokers-guide-how-roll-joint-lot-pictures.html

This is where things can get tricky. I'm going to teach you how to roll a cone shaped joint (unlike in the above tutorial) which is slightly harder than a straight one, but they smoke smoother, you can fit a bit more weed in, and you get more points for style. Using your fingers (or the flap on your rolling papers box thingy) sprinkle the weed onto the paper. Now arrange it so that there is a bit more weed at the end you plan on lighting. Leave space at the other end for your roach, then drop the roach in place. Hold the whole thing in your thumbs/index fingers as shown in the tutorial.

NOOB WARNING: A common mistake with new tokers, is to not put enough weet at the roach end of the joint. This results in the bottom not being very stable at the end. Make sure you have a decent ammont. More is better, because when you roll it, it will distribute itself if there is too much.

THREE. THAT'S THE MAGIC NUMBER
Now comes the part all new tokers dread. Rolling. BE CONFIDENT. You can do it! I highly recommend reading the tutorial above, as it has great pictures for showing what I am about to explain. Also, this is hard to explain, so bear with me.

So with the half-made joint resting in your thumbs/forefingers, fold up the paper over the weed and stard to roll. Work your thumbs from the middle outward. It can be a bit tricky to stop the roach falling out, but this comes with practice. You should feel the weed begin to compact slightly. Don't worry if any falls out, just leave it for now.

When you think the weed is compact enough, tuck the paper over the roach and roll it slightly. This starts the sealing process. Now work your way up towards the top, tucking in a bit, then rolling slightly. This gives you the cone shape (like when you roll a cone out of normal paper).You will get to the glue at the roach end first. Lick that bit and stick it down, and continue to roll: licking and sticking small segments at a time. This will get a LOT easier with practice.

By this stage your joint should look pretty damn good!

NOOB WARNING: Don't be scared. The paper is strong so you can roll pretty firmly. Also remember the warning from the previous step: Make sure there is enough weed next to the roach. Also, if you spilled some weed, now is the time to drop it in through the top.

ROLL ON FOUR
That's the hardest bit over. The rest is piss. Now you want to take your joint, and holding it by the roach, tap the roach end on the table firmly. This makes the weed settle into place. Now what I do here, is take a pen or something and compact the weed a little through the open end. This is down to personal preference. Be sure not to pack it too tight though, otherwise you'll pass out trying to pull from it! Now all you need to do is twist up the end (and if you're really going for style, pinch in the edges. But you don't need to worry about that now) and you're done! Hopefully it will look better than mine in the pic (which was rolled whilst I was shitfaced).

Now go smoke that sucker. You earned it!

General hints and tips:
-When I first started smoking, I used to roll the joint without any weed inside it first, then i used to drop it in after I had sealed the paper. This works, but it makes you look like a COMPLETE NOOB, and it can be time consuming and inpractical.

-To practice, I bought a box of papers, grabbed some green tea and used that. Try it. It works a wonder for practicing without having to use weed.

-Use long papers. No short cigarette papers. Just. No.

-A good roach is an amazing thing. There are loads of guides around here to making a roach around here.

-If you fuck up along the way, just tear it apart and start again with new paper. The roach and weed can be reused.


Hope my guide was helpful! Maybe if it's popular enough it will be added to the Guides sticky *hinthint*

 

To those questioning the title: Look at the caption on the picture.

 

Wait scratch that I thought I put it in. The title so is because the joint in the pic is terribly rolled.

Shut up I'm baked.

 

Over 400 views and only 10 comments?

Come on guys. Gimme some feedback. I put a lot of work into this.

 

Yeah I forgot to mention rolling tobacco. I just ussually have cigs lying around anyway.

 

I rolled it to short, and it's really unstable at the bass. Can't really tell from the picture though I guess.

 

Glad to know it helped