Ok I can tell that one of my plants is a female and the other one I cant tell but I suspect it to be male because of its weird lengthy look. Does the male ruin the female right away or does it take a little while ?
Wait until you're certain it's a male, then pull it. It should be apparent after a couple weeks of flowering. I don't know what "weird lenghty look" you're talking about because except for the nodes where the flowers/pollen sacks form, males and females look the same. And yes, they will take a little while to release their pollen but you should pull it as soon as you can tell it's a male anyway.
Go to the grow guide and itll show you pictures of what to look for. The females have white hairs, and the males have balls . . . .