when i noticed a sub routine running where one hadn't consciously been initiated nor assessed. it demanded inspection. a piece of my persona programming had started a feedback creating an ever increasing demand for aproval and signs of worth from other people to boost my already growing self confidence... the effects were what tipped me off. some character traits, cravings and most noticeably, some behaviour patterns with clear psychological motivation such as over-using profile based chat sites and attempting to gain positions on people's friends lists and the satisfaction from the dopamine laced ego inflamation associated with the reward of seeing my possition jump over 8 places onto the girl-i-had-previously-been-attempting-to-curry-favour-with's displayed friends list, 7th from the top... and then the awakening reveletion of self to self then and there occurred. and this junction, this change of direction, albeit a seemingly small one, in my life, is documented here.
get off myspace or facebook whatever attention desperate site your using and get some pussy. . . explore that shit instead
werd. Fuck other people aproval. Really its nothing big. Im still considered one of the more popular kids in my town even though i hate it. I droped outta school, and intentualy lost communication with ALOT of the people i knew just to be alone and away from all that drama bullshit that goes along with it. Try finding yourself insted. Others will follow......... they always do.
haha i understand what digits saying. just read it a 2nd time and you'll get it. i find myself doing the same. when i see i go up on someones top 8 i think its cool and feel a little better about myself
all the scrapings from the plates after making cookies, and a couple of said cookies too. and a few pipes n bongs. very. theres the rub. thnx for the advice
We think these online personality sites are bringing us closer together, but I think they are deepening the already-wide rift between all of us.