How I was banned from FAO Schwartz

Discussion in 'General' started by SolidGuitar, Apr 16, 2004.

  1. A couple people have been PMing me asking how this happened, so I figured I'd just post it for everyone that's curious.

    It's actually not quite as interesting as it sounds, but reguardless:

    So me and my friend were fucking around in the local mall, just kind of aimlessly wandering. When we spotted the FAO Schwartz, we decided we could definitely kill some time in there. Now, the thing that you have to remember about FAO Schwartz is that they design their stores with the idea in mind that the only customers they'll have are fucking insane, sugar-high little kids, and parents, but not fucking insane sugar high teenagers. Thus, they keep all of their toys out in the open. One of these toys, and probably the biggest mistake in terms of toys to leave out, was an RC car. I grabbed the controller first, and was just racing it around the store when I saw a kid trying to walk (he looked like he was almost a toddler). So I bumped into him, and he fell on his hands and knees. Then, I brought it around to his face and kept it there till he tried to grab it, and then backed it away. This continued for about 10 seconds. The kid thought all this was hilarious, his mom did not.

    That one got us a scolding by the staff, and a close eye on us.

    So then, I pick up a Barney and pick up a narrarative:

    "It was just another fine spring morning, and Barney was taking his daily stroll along the edge of the beautiful, albeit trecherous and very rocky, ravine..."

    BAM!!! My friend made purple paste of the ill fated dinosaur with the car, and this got us ANOTHER talk and something that sounded vaguely like a death threat.

    So I decide to chill and just play some videogames at the demo station. While I'm doing this, my friend comes up to me with a bird sock puppet and had it talk to me. Then he had it insult me. Damn bird... so I screamed (LOUD) at it and strangled it. This got us some attention, I think this is when we REALLY started scaring the customers. So then, the manager comes out and says this:

    "Alright, you guys didn't place nice, and now you have to leave. Never come back into this store again."

    We didn't get the full deal, the pictures posted in every outlet of the chain and all that unless they took some while we weren't looking, but I take "never come back" to mean "you're banned, bitch." Hence, I am banned for life from FAO Schwartz.

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