How I lost my virginity

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by dudeimoncoke, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. I posted this a while back in some other thread but I figured you guys would get a laugh out of it.


    I can't believe I'm actually going to post this but whatever this is the internet and nobody knows who I am. Get ready for a long fucking post but I gaurantee it will be worth it.

    This first part is basically the best prank I've ever played but it has an important role in me losing my virginity:
    It all started on night when I was still living on campus. We had a DC++ hub set up for the campus only (it's basically a file sharing program with a chat feature). I get a message from some dude who I knew only through DC++. He tells me that he has a girl coming over and she wants to have a threesome and so he asked me if I was interested. I'm sitting there staring at my laptop thinking, "wtf? This is definitely a joke. If I go there some people will just be laughing at me or w/e" but I said yes. My thinking was, "I'll get them to think I'll go and then I won't show up". So he tells me what part of the campus he lives in and what room, etc. and the time I should show up. He asks me to describe what I look like and I didn't want to tell him what I look like so I described my roommate.

    Anyway, my roommate comes into the dorm and I'm still talking to this dude on DC++. He seems serious about it so I really want to find out if he's kidding or not. So I asked my roommate to do me a favor and pick up some weed from a kid for me. He agrees and the cogs in my brain start turning. I tell the guy that my fetish is walking in on people having sex and joining them. I ask him if he can prop the door to the building open with something so I can just walk in. He agrees and I become giddy.

    About 12:30 am my roommate leaves to "pick up weed". At 12:35 I get a call from him saying, "dude I think people are fucking in there". I tell him to just knock on the door. At 12:45 my roommate runs into the dorm panicking. I ask him what the hell happened and he says, "Dude I knocked on the door and some naked guy pulls me into the room. He starts trying to pull my shirt off and then I asked him 'where is the package?' He pushed me towards the bed and there was some naked chick on there. I told him I have a girlfriend but he kept rubbing me and telling me that it was my turn so I just ran the fuck out of there.

    So after I laughed my ass off for about half an hour, I was shocked that this dude was actually serious about offering me a threesome. The next day, the same dude messages me again. I tell him that it was my roommate and he thought it was pretty funny. We start talking and we decide to hang out and smoke some weed sometime. Anyway, the next week, I'm at this guys dorm (turns out he's an RA lol) and we're pretty high playing ps3. He gets a call and he tells me that it was the same girl from last time. I tell him that I'll leave and he says that I can stay if I want to. At that point I'm facing a serious dilema; get food or get laid. He shows me a picture of the girl and she's not bad so I stay.

    About 20 minutes later, she shows up at the dorm. About a minute after that, she's naked. So the three of us are on his bed with him at one end, me at the other, and her in the middle. Now, the beds here are about 3-4 feet off the ground and I was on the edge and I didn't have a wall to lean back on. Anyway, things are going pretty well. She's blowing me while he's fucking her. Apparently, he thrusted too hard because she bit down. I acted on impulse and punched her in the head. I really didn't mean to but I did. She just looked up at me and said sorry. So some time passes, I have no idea how long because I was stoned as fuck, we change positions a few times, and we were back to the same position with her in the middle and us on opposite sides.

    Now, this night taught me a very valuable physics lesson which was force can travel through people. The guy starts thrusting harder and harder to the point where I'm starting to tip backwards. I start falling backwards and I did the only thing I could do which was to grab onto something. Unfortunately for her, that something was her hair. I fall about 3-4 feet onto my head and she comes flying over me. I feel like I have a concussion and I look in my hands and see two clumps of hair. She's yelling and screaming and I'm trying to stand up. She gets dressed and runs out of there. I'm so out of it that I can barely put my pants on. Eventually, I left and went to get some chicken.

    That was how I lost my virginity.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. cool story bro :bongin:
     
  3. u my friend are one rowdy crazy mutha fucka. i like ya style;)
     
  4. Your first time was a threesome? lol Good luck topping that :smoking:
     
  5. I think you're doing it wrong.
     
  6. hahaha.

    i was 16. this girl who wanted my shit bad finally got her chance to hang out with me. i was chillen with her and and her cosuin. i actually had a thing for her cousin but w/e. we walk to her house after school, she lived over the bridge from the school on one of the first few blocks. we chilled at her house for a bit. the girl you could tell wanted it. the cousin was kind of stand off-ish which was weird for her with me too. i knew both liked me. then we walked to my house a mile or so away. we go upstairs and into my room. the girl just gets naked and lays on my bed. the cousin had went on the floor and hid her head and laid on her stomach. the girl just looked at me like if i didnt fuck her, she'd die. so i did. no rubber, lasted like a minute and busted on her stomach.

    me and her hung out for a bit after that and fucked alot more. big ass titties, but didn't suck dick right. girl was alittle nuts. now she has a kid with this 16 year old black kid.
     

  7. Unfortunately for your friend, this could have been interpreted into a number of different meanings.

    p.s. The last thing I would ask if I ever found myself in this position, is: "Oh, where's that pesky package?"
     
  8. If I could give you more rep, I totally would.

    Best. Prank. Ever.
     
  9. LMAO I was laughing so hard at the part where you punched her and she just apologized. She sounds like a major hoe.
     
  10. Jesus dude!! You punched a girl and she said sorry?? Awesonme story man, I laughed my ass off.
     
  11. oh my thats hilarious hahaa,
    its always the v-card nights.:laughing:
     
  12. Man, I'm glad you lost your virginity but it was the wrong kind of threesome.
     
  13. Goddamn. You tore that bitch up. Nice:hello:
     

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