How I Cheated Court Drug Tests

taking niacin to assist metabolism?
how much did you take each time?

 

i can somewhat vouch for this method. got random drug tested at my job and had smoked 2 nights before. i was drinking a monster coming into work and right before they tested me. passed the test, but then again, it was a spit test so its prolly not too hard to pass anyway.

 

My friend back in high school randomly came to town once, me and him smoked last year..he got a call during, it was his probation officer....told him he had a random drug test the next day, WHILE we were smoking a shit load....

He continued smoking, later that night at his house I see him do quite possibly the most desperate measure i've EVER seen, (this means DONT FUCKIN DO THIS)

He took a teaspoon of bleach, took half of that, and half of that, and one more time, take half of what was left, and put it in a giant cup of water, and chugged it....

The drug test came back and they found nothing wrong with it, except it was slightly watery


DO NOT TRY OR DO THIS...

 

i doubt it was just the monster...i mean i love mosnter, drink one almost every day, but it was more than likley the niacin and 7-14 days off...monster has b-vits and niacin in it, but not enough or high enough quality to do as much as supliments..

 

lolwut?

sounds risky

 

so i guess thats what the smarter people do. i just go and piss dirty. it doesnt even bother me anymore.

 

Dude I smoked the night before I took my drug test and I passed. SUREGEL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Honestly sounds like the OP simply got clean before a drug test, not due to the Monster energy drinks but because of the Niacin and exercise.

 

Let me tell you something. I've been on probation for over a year now, and I've been smoking for the most part everyday the entire time. I generally stop smoking two days before my appointment. The morning of I just drink a few glasses of water so I can go pee, not even to dilute it, but nevertheless every test I take comes back diluted. So anyways, the courts are violating me and now I had to go retain my lawyer again ($3500 I don't have). I'll have to go to jail for some amount of time, I just think it's fucked up how because their tests don't work, I'm being held personally responsible. Fuck probation.

 

Dude, you know what worked for me - no BS?

I passed over 10 drug tests this way (note - it only worked for weed with me). I actually never failed for weed when I did this:

The day of the tests, I would just start downing water right when I got up. As long as I was pissing CLEAR at least a few hours before the test, I felt I would be allright.

When I would actually take the test itself, I would piss for about 5 seconds, THEN piss in the cup.

Never got popped and I would be smoking the day before. All of the water just bypasses the weed, I guess.

It just never worked for hard drugs. Only weed.

This worked for ME. Who knows if it would work for someone else, but I don't see why not.

Yo, it even worked when I was at my job (back in '02). I had no warning whatsoever. It was a company, and what I called "The Drug-Test Truck" came by and started randomly drug testing the workers.

I was able to buy about 2 hours (I said I just pissed, and there were others to test), so they just said to start drinking.

I did what I said before - I made sure that by the time I pissed into the cup, it was clear.

But I WAS able to sneak into the bathroom to get the yellow piss out (they were drug-testing in the truck).

So there's my secret. Whatever works, right?

 

this is an absurd waste of national resource, ie my tax money. Good luck all of you!

 

You would have been fine doing nothing but drinking the water and working out for the 14 days, maybe extending it a few days as a safety net.

The red meat is a source of creatine FYI.
Drinking the monster wasn't all that unhealthy, just a waste of money.

 

This. Anyone who has ever mentioned anything about it, I usually play it off pretty cool. It's actually never really became an issue.

 

good job dude heres my story of how i passed 15 RANDOM test

after a year on probation i didnt quit and was failing drug test they were about to put me in jail if i didnt start passing so i got some clean piss off a friend put it in a squirt bottle with a tempature strip then i put it in the microwave for 10seconds haha i know kinda gross but hey it kept it the perfect temp id go in the room the guy would be on my right side watching me i kept the bottle on my left and managed to do this everytime i cant believe that shit worked thats why i laugh at people who freakout about test they are so easy to pass

 

not to talk shit OP but u didnt realy beat the test like myself u actualy quit

 

whats in the monster that helps you pass? I passed a court ordered test by loading up on creatine drinking water and a b2 pill before the test.

 

Whizzinator

We call it the dick. Worked many, many, many times before. All you need is some clean piss.

 

i did this too


but one day when i went in my PO was like
we know youve been useing synthetic urine

i was like wtf how
so they searched my and i had it on me and i was screwed
got put on PO hold, i ended up revocating myself

 

* How i cheated court DT's*

get piss from a bitch 20 mins before test, go to place, walk in stall, dump bottle into cup and walk out and smoke a blunt