I just wrote the quote in my signature because i just had some very hard flash backs. It all started for me back in 05 when my first real look on the hard falls of life happened. my best friend was murdered. i feel like i had to grow up faster then i should have, being only 12 that really opened my eyes to the cruelness of today's society. if you look at your life in the past 5 years, what is one of the biggest changes. mine was the loss of a best friend do to murder, and the start of my cannabis use. Life is hard, but read my signiture, thats how i get through. EDIT: for all the people saying im seventeen, my friend died in January, my birthday is in february, he died in Jan. 05 you fucking assholes, if age is all you care about then adleast know when my birthday is before you start being douchebags, a judgmental stoner is no friend of mine.
I went from loving society to hating it. And how you realized that everything is changing? Siddhartha (AKA Buddha) discovered the impermanence of everything thousands of years ago. Part of being Original Buddhist involves accepting the impermanence of everything.
In the last 5 years ive gone from pretending to be somone I wasnt to someone who completely stoped giving a flying fuck about what people think about about me. I can give a few reasons for this one of them being the wonderful ganja and another being a short but brutal oxycontin addiction. But after being through all that I think ive come to realize that nothing we do really matters all that much and we should just try our best to do what we can to be happy with what we get. Sorry if none of this makes any sence Im writing this on my phone and am rollin on stuff I cant mention on here
And op I totally know what you mean when u say you had to grow up fast, I never had to lose a close friend at a young age but addictions and the family stuff that ends up being involved with them is not a nice way to have to get through highschool
I basically grew up and accepted some of the realities of life. I stopped caring what other people think of me and at the same time became an individual and stopped doing things that seemed pointless to me just to achieve brief social status. Took some hard knocks after high school (Im twenty now) and got kicked out of my house but it turned out to be a positive experience because now I'm self sufficient and can look look after my own interests. Figured out fuck working some dead end job pumping gas or bagging groceries and that I'm better off pursuing my passions. First music (which admittedly didn't turn out that well) and now writing (make some money, not great). Told some manipulators who were once good friends to fuck off which was difficult considering the good times we had once upon a time. Had to turn my back on other friends who had become junkies and wanted to drag me down into their subterranean world. Basically over the last five years I've become a full person. Don't know if that makes any sense.
i became less loud. I was going down a path with the wrong head. now atleast im going down the same path with a head on my shoulders making decisions after i think about it. haha ol' wild crazy blackflaggin, i remember those days....
there is one huge difference: I used to put in a ton of energy into being "normal" but then I realized my "weirdness" is the very thing that makes me cool. so now I just act myself, and surprisingly people respond a lot better (even the normal drones ) in other words, "only dead fish flow with the stream"
Did you mean to edit this part? To reflect that you turned 18 already It all started for me back in 05 when my first real look on the hard falls of life happened. my best friend was murdered. i feel like i had to grow up faster then i should have, being only 12 that really opened my eyes to the cruelness of today's society.
I used to be a shy average kid who was not very social at all. My hometown had like 4000 people total and I had 125 total kids in my grade. Everyone knew everything about each other so life was boring. Then the greatest thing happened to me. I moved to a bigger town with my mom and brother after my parents split up. I started a new high school my junior year and there was at least 450 kids in my grade. Everyone was accepting and open to me. I was open to whatever happened that year and I never really questioned anything as I was a new student. If anyone has seen the movie "The New Guy" this is exactly how I felt. I went from being a nobody to having a chance to start over. Needless to say, I made use of my chapter. Friends starting coming rapidly and it felt like I was meeting someone new everyday. I also started smoking weed a lot more when I moved here as I noticed how normal it was, and no one judged you for it. Anyone who smoked at my old school was considered a burnout and trash. At my new school, everyone did it and everyone was cool with each other. If I hadn't moved before my junior year, I believe I still would have been close minded about things and I would still be at the bottom of the social totem pole. Now in my senior year, I am enjoying bonding with everyone before we go our separate ways. I am glad to have met everyone I did when I moved here. They sure made it easy for me when I first came to their school.
I had to come to terms with the fact that im not immortal after I took a hard slam to my lower back skating. Now stiffness and discomfort are a regular part of my day. It really put into perspective how dangerous my sport is and how fragile life is. It made me rethink who I was and how important this sport is to me. Is the fun now worth the potential of damaging my body for the rest of my life? The rest of my life disabled.... Scary Thought. I had to come to terms with the fact that I basically locked myself in my bedroom(I <3 Teh Internetz) and now am socially awkward. I never feel 100% in social situations and I realized I had no social confidence or awareness. Now as I walk into college with 3 good friends (who I really don't know if they are worth keeping around, it seems like theyre going down the wrong path), trying to make new ones is scaring the shit out of me. Loneliness blowsss. I also had to come to terms with how bad of a place the world can be. It's like I lived in this fairy tale land where I completely didn't notice bad shit. One day I looked around and realized how dangerous and scary life can be. I had to accept that people lie, the people I trust could let me down. Some of the things I really trusted, I learned didn't deserve it. A lot of the people I respected, didn't deserve it. It's like I put on the "HELLO YOUR OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL THIS IS THE REAL WORLD BE CAREFUL THIS SHIT IS GNARLY" glasses. Oh well, all apart of growing up I suppose.
used to run around getting drunk all the time, tagging stuff, chasing girls, and just being nasty to every body i met then my brother died and my world crashed down and really made me wake up to what an ego-filled, worthless piece of trash i was being through my actions and words ive cut all the bad people out of my life, got on top of my school work and am loving how every thing falls into place when you start filling your life with positivity. i still miss my brother every day though but i owe him my life because i would probably be dead or in jail right now if he didnt have such a profound effect on me
^^ noticed that too. Well in the last five years i have lost my family, car, friends, home, etc etc and fucked my future up royally. Now i am working on fixing it and it sucks dick and is slow goin
I relized slowly but surely that I was lied to my own life and finnally opened my eyes to what was happening around me 24/7.I think this caused me to becaome the very unforgiving and numb person i am but it's helped me get along this far in life.
Realized working a shitty job that was reaking havoc on my body was not the way for me, went to college, got an education, got a good job, fell in love, lost a best friend, fell out of love, met the girl of my dreams, married the girl of my dreams, left my hometown, family, friends, and country. Bought a house, back in school, and I now cherish my time with family and close friends. Basically have been through quite a bit in the past 5 years looking back.