I've only had sex 3 times, all one-night stands, with 3 different people. And after the sex, a day after, I always feel...weird. Sort of sad, just an overall feeling that something wasn't right. The sex felt empty to me, and it just really screwed my mind up. After the third time, I talked to some random person (Omegle) about the feelings I was having. She said that sex was not just physical, but also related to a emotional and mental connection. After hearing this, I decided that I was not going to have casual sex anymore, I was only going to have sex with someone in a relationship. I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than 3 weeks, and during those weeks, I never had sex. I don't know what it feels like to be intimate with someone that you have a connection with. So really, my question is: Do you, the reader, believe that sex is more than a physical feeling? That it is irreversibly tied with our emotions?
Through my experience yes emotions are attached to sex, I mean even though sex is a 'physical act' it is intimate even in cases of one night stands.
Sex can be great but I think its so much better if its someone you love. Theres just more than a physical.connection that makes the satisfaction more complete
I've only had "casual" sex with one person, one time (We'll call him A). On the other hand, I have had quite a bit of sex with someone I THOUGHT I had an emotional connection with (Call him B), and lots and lots of sex with a person I have an incredible emotional connection with(And C). With A, the sex itself was alright, satisfied the needs but wasn't anything special. There was no emotional connection at all. We both knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. It was just for the night. And I did feel terrible a day or so afterwards. With B, the sex was few and far between, and at the time I thought the best of it. Sometimes it left me feeling empty, but I overlooked it, thinking that it was just off that time. Now C, C is a WHOLE different ball game. My man and I are so in sync emotionally, it blows my mind. The sex is incredible and there is NEVER a time that I feel empty, or anything negative, afterwards. The worst sex with C is better than the BEST sex with either of the others.
You sound like you're young but like you've got some depth...personally, for me, sex with someone I love is the most amazing thing ever because not only do you want each other's bodies, but you want each others love and affection and receiving both is awesome. It's just something words can't explain. Honestly, after having sex whilst in love I believe I won't ever have sex with just anyone... Just doesn't seem necessary
You're right, I'm 19. I think another reason I feel so bad after is that sex is supposed to be special, and I feel guilty about the person I had sex with. That we experienced something special together, and yet, it all came to nothing. I feel like I'm taking something important away from the person I've slept with.
No. "love" is the ultimate troll...a joke...a farce...a laughable concept even... Chemistry/connections/love is nothing more than an intoxication, or impairment caused by the culmination of various neurochemical transmitters that drive you to reproduce and raise offspring......that's it. Emotions and being emotional brings nothing but bullshit and drama, and the only thing that makes sex satisfying is basting a gut locker with baby batter. If you are rational/logical/objective about it you get to doge most of the drama and still get yer nut off. That being said even the most stoic, logical and rational of us get caught up in a trap every now and then...scumbag brain Then you have to deal with the drama of shit canning the succubus you let in, what a fucking PITA. Indoctrination..... why is sex special? Because your culture told you so, movies, church, your parents...w/e. But what makes it special? You're sticking your cock in some girls crotch and hosing it down with a phlegmy ejaculate......it's special all right
I def think it goes beyond much more then what most think it is.Ur opening yourself up, becoming vulnerable & sharing apart of you,something u def shouldn't just hand out to strangers. Weather you may or may not think its also mental/emotional it is! everything we say,do, think..the way we live! it all effects us in some way. It effects the way we think,who we are,who we become. I think its that part of you thats opening up & realizing you want something much more the just that,someone worth sharing that with. I honestly think its a good thing,maybe you should keep exploring what is out there because you never know who might just sweep you off your feet for longer then 3weeks :]
CapitanQ, I certainly don't believe in the absolute concept of love. I'm an athiest, I know that love is nothing more than chemical reactions in the brain. If you were to continue that line of thought, life is nothing more than chemical reactions in the brain. But then, if the enjoyable sensation that comes from sex is nothing but a chemical reaction, and your emotions are nothing but a chemical reaction, who says the two cannot be intertwined? Edit: Is your name spelt that way simply to screw people who call you captain?
Maybe one reason is because that all of these girls are just for one night stand and no feelings attached.
Oh they can be intertwined and often are... What I'm saying is if you can separate, compartmentalize, and suppress that pair bonding urge b/c you see and realize it's just your mind playing tricks on you when you "fall in love", objectify it so that you can run a cost benefit analysis on the situation you will save yourself a bunch of trouble. By cost benefit I mean that in a very broad sense to accommodate the broad variety of gives and takes that occur in any relationship whatever they may be. Nope...It's spelled that way b/c "Q" wasn't available and the character I'm referencing almost always wears the rank of captain in the show and often says it with a rather funny frenchy swirl sounding more like capitan than captain so I rolled with it. Though this brings me to an interesting thought....I have almost always detested officers, why would I want an officers rank as my name? Should have gone with SSG-Q would have felt more natural. Can you get a name change on this site or just make a new profile?
I understand, it's completely crazy. Some people believe that sex is whatever and it's not a big deal, some people think it's super special and only want it with someone special. Though, personally I think that if you think about what HIV and AIDS actually is, it's scary. It is a virus that is spread through sexual contact, this pretty much means it's a virus that kills off people who sleep around. Doesn't that seem like it means something in an evolutionary sense? Not trying to make you feel bad, and you shouldn't feel like you've taken something away from the other person. They chose the situation and they made their decision. I understand the feeling of sexual tension, sexual frustration when you don't get sex when you want it, but it's risky to play around and it's not as satisfying... are you saying you don't believe in spirituality? You don't believe in beautiful energy? no positive large force?
I've never had sex with anyone I was "in Love with," but I don't have sex with strangers either. I feel like some degree of connection and knowledge of the other person and trust of them is necessary for it to be enjoyable. I do need an emotional connection for it to be ok. I don't need to be in love, but there's got to be something there. I've had the opportunity to have casual sex with strangers, but I've always turned it down, because I just wasn't comfortable with it. I feel like there's kind of no point in only fucking someone once. Its just sex then, not great sex. How could it be? You don't know the best ways of getting each other off. You can't really stop keeping up appearances, and just be yourself. All it can be is generic sex. I've had the best sex of my life with my best friend, without any romantic feeling. I'm proof that Friends with benefits can work if you do it right. Do we have an emotional connection? Yes, as close friends tend to do. There was obviously sexual attraction. But there wasn't "love," at least not romantic love. Also, since so much of sex for me is learning about the other person--what their fantasies are, what they like, what they want, how to please them--and I'm a bit odd myself in that department (kinda kinky, some s/m, the way I reach orgasm is a bit different from other girls) so my partners learn about how I work too. I'm told that having sex with someone you love is special, and really is better. Maybe after I've experienced it, I'll feel differently. But IDK. I think the word "love" gets thrown around a lot. I don't feel it very often. I mean, I love my friends and family, etc, but the "love" that always wins at the end of movies? I've never felt that. I don't even know if I can.
With all...and I mean ALL due respect, to think that one day you might further pollute the human genetic pool by spreading your uncanny level of derp via reproduction is horrifying, and you make me ashamed of our species.
Haha, thanks for your input and don't worry I won't be having any children! But I was super high last night and thinking back on it, that was quite a silly post I made, for the human race had succeeded by men sleeping around with a bunch of ladies and making babies galore. It makes me really sad that one thing I, a 19 year old female, said could make you ashamed of our species, I'm sorry, but there are people out there starting wars, killing over sexuality and race, etc...Don't let my two cents overly influence you...
Okay, I understand... I used to feel that way once. Everything is science and math, once you're dead, you're dead. No spirits, ghosts, etc... Sad life, sad world
OP, maybe the sex wasn't good enough? A one-night stand will never be as good as sex with someone you actually care about.