Alright, I am in such a terrible state right now. Shaking a bit, nauseous... yeah. Some time ago my boyfriend announced to me that he no longer loved me the same way, that his affections for me had shrunk and that he was looking for change in his life. All kinds of hurtful things that made me run out into the rain and sit there for a couple of hours. I got quite a nasty cold from that. I just went to his place to get back some things of mine he has. I really didn't even feel like seeing him, I had asked him to just drop the stuff off at my place. He insisted he needed to see me for a few minutes and reluctantly I said okay. Basically... the few minutes turned into a few hours of him telling me how sorry he was, how he thinks he's an idiot. I saw him cry for the first time in the nearly two years we have known eachother. I love this man, I truly do. The feelings I went through when he left me made that even more clear to me, as I felt like somebody had cut out a chunk of what makes me whole. So... I told him we should give eachother another chance. I say eachother because I am not the perfect girlfriend in any way, shape or form. He did not leave me out of the blue, as he says: "I make mountains out of molehills". He has a point... I'm intensely sensitive, emotionally. I cry very easily... I'm extremely put down by everything negative he says. He has his flaws too, but we agreed we should accept eachother rather than expecting us to change our fundamental ways of being... He told me I am his perfect woman... I don't know whether to laugh or cry or break something. I'm really, really, really distraught. Should I be happy I am back together with the man I longed for or should I be dead worried he's going to hurt me again? He has done this before... breaking up with me and getting me back. But I have never seen him so sincere in my life. I want to believe him, I really do...
You just going to have to take the leap to see if what he's saying is true. None of us know of your real feelings, or his, so we can't say if you'd be making a mistake! I sure hope you're not, i hope he makes you happy and i hope it's real! If you want this, then only you will know.
Thanks... yeah I know nobody can really judge this at all. I really want this... I'm just kind of scared. I already have trust issues for all kinds of bad treatment I've put up with (not just from my boy) so I guess I'm just looking for reassurance. This situation is turning me into a very insecure person.
What you about to read may not be what you want to hear, but I'd like to attempt to help because I've been through something similar. Honestly, I feel like this is just prolonging the inevitable. He said he wanted to change for a reason, and those feelings of regret and tears that you were saw WERE real...but I don't think for the right reasons. Apart of him wants to venture away from you, but he doesn't want to throw you away forever because it seems like he really loves you. As sad as this may seem, you always have to think rationally...and it would be a good time in your life to make new friends, and grow into your own person all over again... That's just my take on it, but I'm not you and I couldn't possibly understand all the components that make up your relationship. Whatever happens, I hope you don't stay down for too long...It's no way to live.
Well, there is the possibility that he said those things because he's afraid of commitment. Afraid of what would happen if you stayed together. I've had that; I didn't react the same way, but I had it. I can't think of any other excuse. Being single isn't bad. Relationships can turn into codependent quagmires that are neigh impossible to escape from if you aren't a strong person. In my opinion, a relationship should be two peers who remain independent, but share their lives. I'm not big on the idea of two minds or two bodies becoming one, so that could be my bias there. I feel that if each person is independently strong, the relationship between the two will just be that much stronger. There is a good possibility that if you stay with this guy, this same thing will happen again. He talked himself into saying these things once, it can happen again.
You're beautiful, dude. Just let this shit roll off of you. Take chances, if it doesn't work then he's obviously not realizing how good you are and doesn't deserve your attention anyway.
I can understand where you're coming from. My ex was extremely sensitive and emotional as well. In the end we broke up for that exact reason. Too much pointless drama for me. Have you tried working your way around this though? I'm not saying you can change, and you shouldn't. To ease the burden on him though, step out of the room for a bit or change the subject when you're about to get too emotional. Sometimes it helps.
The thing is that it had been going a lot better. No fighting, no tears, no anger. He said he had just been thinking about all of the fights from the past, and it had put him off entirely. Today, he said he realised how happy he has been with me, even if there were moments of roughness. I've been making efforts to be calmer around him for a long time... really strong efforts. He has a very fiery character though, and tends to raise his voice or yell when we argue. That generally puts tears into my eyes, no matter how much I try to avoid it.
Aw, sorry to hear that. Fiery tempers don't usually go well with emotional women. But I'm glad you guys are starting to work it out though. It might just be a learning experience for both of you. ^_^
This is a tough one, girl. I don't think I could take someone back that told me they didn't love me anymore.. every day I would think about what he said, and wonder if it really was true, wonder if he was going to leave again.. If you really love him, go for it- but maybe give it some time?
Well he didn't say he didn't love me anymore, really... just that he didn't feel the same way for me as when we first got together as a couple. Which is normal... because that intense emotional thrill that you feel at first does not last forever. But you are right, flowerchild... I will think about it constantly and wonder whether he will leave me... Yet, he seemed so sincere... he told me I'm his perfect woman. It's really confusing.
I went through a similar situation with my ex... and that should tell you how it went, because he is now my EX. I understand how you must be feeling, but to be completely honest, I agree with Tank Deezel. I think you've hit a point and you cant go back from that. Things may be great now, but there was some sort of reason why he did that in the first place. Once you have trust issues in a relationship, it all starts to go downhill. This might be your sign that its time to move on before you get even more hurt. You're a beautiful girl and im sure you deserve a lot, so go for the best there is
What someone says and does are often very different things. It is in my nature to not trust someone once they have hurt me, and from what you have told us, he has done something similar before, and that for me is reason to not get back together, and you are already having your doubts. The hardass in me says that this guy will hurt you again, but the softie says that maybe this time things may be different. Only time will tell for you. Just remember that your happiness and your feelings are important, and if you keep on feeling bad, to maybe take a break from each other for a while. Don't feel like you need another person to make you complete, sometimes being single and not worrying about being in a relationship can really give you a new perspective.
your young, go out and see the world and see some other people and if you eventually come back to him then it was meant to happen.