Hooray for adventure...

Discussion in 'General' started by Ens-Entium, Jan 19, 2005.

  1. Alright...
    So...
    About 3 weeks ago my apartment was broken into because my back door fell off...
    That's right...
    IT FELL OFF...
    The back door fell off because the morons my realty company sent over to fix it fucked it up even more... (they literally pinned it up)
    Someone just walked in in and stole my DVD library, electric guitar, some cookies and a pillow case...

    Now my pillowcases are mismatched...
    Those bastards...

    Called the cops, and they have yet to come...

    So a few Wenesdays after...
    I'm telling my friend how the weirdest shit happens to me...
    We laughed it off then decided a Thurday was too far away from the weekend...
    So out we ventured to buy some beer...
    Hooray for adventure...

    7:45 pm...
    Destination - gas station...
    Payed for the beer...
    Stepped outside...
    My friend decides to put the beer in his backpack for the walk back...

    As he's on the ground doing that, a man on a bicycle rides up to me...
    He mumbles...

    "Excuse me???"
    Man: *mumble*stare*
    "Oh... I suppose it is a good night..."
    Man: "Hey, man... I was wondering if you could... Maybe help me out with something..."
    "Well that depends on what that something is..."
    Man: "I was wondering if you had a dollar..."

    Saw it coming...
    But what could I do???
    My friend was still messing around with a broken zipper on his bag...

    "Sorry... Can't help you..."
    Man: "No no... You don't understand... I really need a dollar..."
    "I don't have a dollar..."
    Man: "Look... I'm REALLY hungry and all I need is a dollar, man..."

    Okay...
    So I sound like a complete bastard...
    But you must understand that about 70% of the bums in the city stop me for a dollar...
    And I usually give them a dollar...
    But I too need those dollars...
    So this time, the dollar was to be mine...
    To remain as mine...
    And only to be mine...
    Mine, mine, mine, mine...
    Mine, mine...
    MINE...

    "I can't help you... I don't have any change..."
    Man: "Well GO GET SOME..."
    "No... I don't think so..."
    Man: "Look... I'm not fucking ar..."

    He lifts up his jacket to reveal a gun in his pants garter...
    He reaches for it...
    But...
    As soon as he touches it...
    The gun falls down his pants...

    So now this guy is stutterring, trying to finish his sentence, while balancing on one foot and wiggling his leg in the air, frantically trying to slide the gun down his pant leg...

    At this point...
    I am amused and curious to see what happens...
    So I watch...
    And wait...

    Finally the gun falls to the ground...
    He bends over to pick it up...

    Man: "I'M NOT FUCKING AROU... AROUN..."

    He can't pick it up...
    The gun keeps sliding around on the floor...

    My friend gets up, sees the gun on the ground and freezes up...
    Finally the man gets a hold of the gun...
    He stands up, puts the gun under his jacket, and points it right at me...

    Man: "I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND, MAN!!! GIVE ME A FUCKING DOLLAR!!!"

    What the Hell is this???
    I'm being held up at gunpoint for ONE DOLLAR???
    I'd had a pretty shitty week, and month overall...
    So I'd have been damned if I'd let this dumbass rob me...
    If he wanted a dollar, he'd have to pay for it with the bullets in his gun...
    Maybe run himself into debt trying to kill me...

    I moved towards him...
    "No... What, you gonna shoot me???"
    Man: "Wha... Um... m.. NO!!! JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING DOLLAR!!!"

    I signal for my friend to leave...
    But he was frantically searching through his pockets for a dollar...
    He pulls out 2 dimes and a penny...

    Friend: "Um... I have some change... I think it's 21 cents..."
    Man: "I DON'T WANT NO FUCKING CHANGE!!! I WANT A FUCKING DOLLAR!!!"

    I get my friend to start moving...
    As we're walking away the man yells...

    Man: "HEY, MAN!!! I WASN'T FUCKING AROUND!!! I WANT A FUCKING DOLLAR!!!"

    I turn around...

    "Well I'm not FUCKING AROUND EITHER... I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DOLLAR..."

    So he hopped on his bike and rode off in the other direction...

    The end...


    So what did I miss while I was gone???
    GC looks... Different...
     
  2. whoa.. Im suprised you stayed there to watch him. I woulda got the fuck out of there. Or socked him in the face..

    rep+ funny ass story
     
  3. They stole your cookies dude? What kind of fucked up person does that to someone.

    LoL. I would have wigged out.
     
  4. i would've jacked him in the face. after the initial shock of seeing the gun was over that is. but if he took that much time to fumble around i would've tackled him off that bike so fast. i don't play around with guns. what if he was crazy and did shoot you?
     
  5. If I would have seen the gun fall down his pants, I would have rocked him soo hard in the face. Then I would have beat the shit out of him. I understand he was probably a bum, and all he wanted was a doller. But when you pull a gun on me and treaten my life, thats where things cross the line. I know fighting isnt the best way to solve anything, but hey...what can ya do? Nice story man REP +.
     
  6. if someone was threatening to shoot me and fumbled it around, just like what everybody else said, i wouldnt hesitate at all to knock him out, why have the risk of being in danger?? its not worth it, you'd probably be able to find a legal case to get $$ too if you wanted...
     
  7. ah, gotta love the simple life... wiait a minute, my life aint simple at all at the momnetn... simpler than that though
     
  8. It would've felt great to have knocked him out...
    But there was something about watching him dance and fumble around that seemed... Priceless???

    I can't really explain why I didn't do anything...
    Other than to say that I found it highly entertaining...
    It would've been like walking out of the theater right before the climax of a good movie...
     
  9. He pulled a gun on you, dropped it and you AND your friend just stood there? damn...If it were me or any of my friends that gun toting hobo would have about 5 knife wounds to the chest and have his brains spilled all over the curb. Seriously, especially after all the shit you went through, I'd gladly kill a worthless person to satisfy my rage.
     
  10. I so would have stuck him in the face right after he dropped the gun... haha, story would have been over with right there... did that thought pass through your imind? Or were you just like carefree or something? Anyway, pretty funny how it turned out...

    - John

    PS: GIVE ME A FUCKIN DOLLAR!!!!
     
  11. haha props for keepin your cool and not lettin him get a doller,
    thats a shame what happened to your apartment, be on the lookout for someone trying to hustle your stuff.
     

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