Holding Yourself Back

I think I could be a great musician or entertainer in general...also I wish I would pursue certain females but I can't get myself to do it!!

 

Recently I've felt like I've held myself back socially a lot, for reasons I've only really just came to terms with. Basically, in September I moved cities for university & expected a bit too much socially. For example, all through college I was very outgoing, very confident and people used to find me funny. I even remember a particular day when all of my classmates were sat around me laughing at my jokes just days into the term. I've always seen myself as a natural leader, particularly in social situations. However when I moved to college, the social leaders had already been established, and for the first few days, NO-ONE found me funny. I didn't really realise this was the cause for my current state, but since then my confidence has taken a huge plunge, I barely talk to anyone for fear of the same thing happening. It's horrible having everything taken away from you. So yeah basically that's what is holding me back.

As for coping with it, I have started excersising daily, reading self help books, using hypnotism/relaxation, drinking less and I'm going to start smoking weed for the first time in about three years in hope that it will help my social anxiety.

IMO the self help books work the best, followed closely by exercise. Using these both in conjunction in the morning (gym session, then read book before attending lectures) works particularly well as it prepares me for the day. The books just put everything into perspective, and makes you realise just how distorted your negative thoughts are after weeks of basically just talking to yourself in your head.

Since using all these techniques fairly religiously for the past week or so, and forcing myself into social situations to realise things aren't that bad, things have made a massive improvement, and I hope my re-introduction to weed will help to relax me in these situations even more (Picking up some cheese tomorrow (first time in 3 years) and buying myself an ice bong, (apprehensive but excited!)

 

Ya my anxiety is pretty bad it's to the point where i can't physically stop the attacks/feelings and it's frustrating and painful. I'm working on it and i've come a long way in the last few years.

 

same dude, i want to be able to get a decent job, go out with friends every weekend, have a better social life and just be 'The Man' you know? But i've got terrible anxiety and it seems like im borderline terrified to enter highly social situations without the aid of drugs.

I avoid situations that i KNOW i'll enjoy just cause of the damn anxiety. Recently there were 2 concerts that came to my town. Two of my favorite bands, Zoogma and SOiL.

I had to force myself to go to these shows. The first one i went to i got there early thinking it was going to be packed and i wanted to park IN the lot this time, not across the street. I got there and i was litterally one of the only people there besides the organizers getting shit ready. I sat down in a chair and some dude came up and introduced himself to me and he'd talk to me and i would respond with halfass replies and just stare at the wall half the time. he even smoked me up but in my own head i was just to terrified to talk. I dont know why but i just was.

Then at the second one i stood in one spot for the whole concert, when the band i came to see came on the crowed wasn't even paying attention. The lead singer was just looking at the crowed in shock holding the mic out for people to sing parts of the song. I knew every part of every song he sand but for some reason i didn't budge. I just stood there in a corner until it was over and i left.

Recently a show had come up that i KNEW all my old friends were going to. i had a week to decide if i was going , i really wanted to but everytime i imagined myself in that situation id just get so nervous and feel uneasy. That whole week i was getting little patches of acne on my face from the stress of just thinking about it. Finally on the night before the concert i just texted everyone that i had to work the next day and couldn't make it. As soon as i did that it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

It seems like it just gets worse and worse, Fucking hate anxiety. I know i need to push through it but it feels like im trying to move a mountain.

 

[quote name='"HolderOfTheBong"']same dude, i want to be able to get a decent job, go out with friends every weekend, have a better social life and just be 'The Man' you know? But i've got terrible anxiety and it seems like im borderline terrified to enter highly social situations without the aid of drugs.

I avoid situations that i KNOW i'll enjoy just cause of the damn anxiety. Recently there were 2 concerts that came to my town. Two of my favorite bands, Zoogma and SOiL.

I had to force myself to go to these shows. The first one i went to i got there early thinking it was going to be packed and i wanted to park IN the lot this time, not across the street. I got there and i was litterally one of the only people there besides the organizers getting shit ready. I sat down in a chair and some dude came up and introduced himself to me and he'd talk to me and i would respond with halfass replies and just stare at the wall half the time. he even smoked me up but in my own head i was just to terrified to talk. I dont know why but i just was.

Then at the second one i stood in one spot for the whole concert, when the band i came to see came on the crowed wasn't even paying attention. The lead singer was just looking at the crowed in shock holding the mic out for people to sing parts of the song. I knew every part of every song he sand but for some reason i didn't budge. I just stood there in a corner until it was over and i left.

Recently a show had come up that i KNEW all my old friends were going to. i had a week to decide if i was going , i really wanted to but everytime i imagined myself in that situation id just get so nervous and feel uneasy. That whole week i was getting little patches of acne on my face from the stress of just thinking about it. Finally on the night before the concert i just texted everyone that i had to work the next day and couldn't make it. As soon as i did that it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

It seems like it just gets worse and worse, Fucking hate anxiety. I know i need to push through it but it feels like im trying to move a mountain.[/quote]

Exactly what I tried to do, but I think just "pushing through" is damn near impossible. I found it hard to accept help but the books I am reading are literally a godsend. I'm not saying that they work instantly, or that some courage isn't needed, but they work pretty damn good and in my case quickly, just make sure you frequent them.

Hope shit gets better for you man, nothing worse than social anxiety

 

I've stopped doing alot of things because of the anxiety. I mean if i can avoid meaningless interaction and such to a mimimum i do. I tried for a long time to do all those things that we are "supposed" to enjoy and i realized i DO NOT enjoy that shit! I'm still not completely over the feeling of guilt because i don't do or go to certain things or talk to people. It's like if you don't do the normal things you're deemed a lesser person but that's not how the world is really like or should be.

 

Most of the time you'll get into a habit of turning things down because of. After a while you probably feel like you HAVE turn them down. You know what the problem is. You obviously dont want to keep letting anxiety take you by the balls. Do what needs to be done.

 

I nerf myself with weed.


I'm not sure i want to be anything yet ...

I'm buying a truck with a camper and gunna nomad it up next year but I couldn't do that if I had predetermined goals and aspirations in my life right now.

There's so many carreer paths for me to choose right now but I hold myself back from tacking one to far right now cause I need my options but I need to live different lifestyles before I make a decision on how to live the rest of my life.

So I guess I've held myself back from progression