I started smoking when I was about 15 and introduced all my friends to it shortly after as well. When we first started it was the best time of my life but when high school Began high school everything changed. I was sort of a stoner my Freshman and sophomore years and word got to spreading in my high school and the other kids started making fun of me and calling me a druggy and shit like that and I started noticing teachers look at me differently too even though I was a great student. I felt like shit and started overthinking so much about fitting in again and so I started to be a fake happy douche bag that just tried too hard to be friends with people but I would overthink so much my own words would come out sounding stupid and awkward silences would follow and the other kids started talking shit about that too. I spent my days just sitting in my basement thinking about how I could change and what could I do. Junior year I said fuck it and started smoking again and found peace and thought about how insignificant all those bastards were in reality and so I started being myself again and shit got a lot easier. I'm still a loner but it's now the end of my senior year and I find that I really don't have friends because they grew selfish and started stealing and what not from each other and so we broke apart... I'm realizing now that I fucked up my high school career and am still just a weird quiet kid that I came into high school as in the first place Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Damn man, to be honest as cliche as it sounds there's no point in worrying about the shit you can't change, everyone has a different highschool experience I'm sure there's been people with a lot better and a lot worse ones, shit if you were smoking the whole time I'm sure it wasn't that bad lol
If you graduated,then move on to college. Don't over think about fucking it up. Be yourself. If you have to sacrafice who you are in order to be liked, you are better off being yourself and disliked. I have lived both sides of the coin. I saw a meme once of a group white stick figures. To the side, outside of the group was a black stick figure holding a black balloon and floating away flipping off the group of white stick figures. The caption read: "Everybody wants to be liked by everyone else. Except George. George doesn't give a fuck what you think of him".
I feel it man my HS experience was weird once I hit junior year I got expelled and shit went downhill after that
Key realization right there Don't worry too much about it. It's high school. It is dominated by conformism and anyone who does not dance to the same tune as the status quo is an outcast. Go to college and/or start meeting actual adult friends whose individualism is as established as your own. The more time passes the less importance the high school years will carry.
The biggest social outcasts are often the people that are most accepted by society and there is no better example of this than high school. Think about this for a minute; all those people had to put you down to make themselves feel good, because they don't feel good about themselves.. This drives them to put the attention that would be on them onto others. Its a strange world, but the ones that start the farthest ahead always end up in the back. I know several people who inherited their families respective businesses and every single one of them drove it into the ground.. Its because they don't know how to persevere through hard moments. They just quit, because the little voice in the back of their head is constantly telling them they are no good and the second something bad happens, they believe it. Whenever somebody says something really rude to me i just say to myself "You know, i could say something back, but really, i know that those people say worse things to themselves every night before they go to bed than i ever could".. And its true. Don't become one of those people!
Being accepted by society is the exact opposite of being a social outcast... Either way, as soon as you go get a "decent" job in a "real" work environment, you might find that it's just high school all over again. This time featuring only adults, which in some cases are even more dangerous than teenagers. Only thing you can do is either play ball, find a way to sit on the sidelines, or find a way to change the game. That's just how life works unfortunately.
Boo hoo, high school turns everyone into serial killers. It's like I tell people who tell me I should change: "Look, I realize you're going through alot right now and you're saying some things you don't mean. But shut up now, ok?"
The point i was making was that being accepted means often doing so at the expense of others and a great example is being an outcast to the point where one would feel comfortable alienating an individual so that there is more room for them or their opinion to be accepted. Another great example is your response that i have quoted here! by attempting to correct me you have tried to alienate me to make your response seem more acceptable. The point i was making was clear as day. As i made reference to in my post, i could, in response, try and alienate you back, however the negativity you bring will follow you wherever you go and will force you to alienate yourself over time. <--- Powerful thinking at work. Empower yourself, Jingo, don't steal on my power or anyone else's! This goes to you as well OP! Empower yourself, don't let people steal your power with pointless comments.
I was countering what you said, which in itself wasn't correct. I get that you might've meant something entirely different, but I can't read minds. Regardless, pointing out an invalidity isn't the equivalent to alienating you, I think you just decided to take it that way. If I said something false and you were to correct me, that's all it is; being corrected, not secluded. You seem to be very focused on the idea of power, or empowerment, but you don't seem to "empower" anyone else's "pointless" comments if they don't agree with yours. By your logic, isn't that just backwards alienation? Furthermore, no one really needs to be nasty to everyone to be socially accepted. That's an outlook likely based off of your own personal experiences. Sure, it happens, but there are plenty of good people who are accepted by others because of their kindness. If I'm negative, are you meant to be positive? Either way, being too much of one is still destructive. I'll end with this: empower yourself by understanding the reality of things. Honestly this whole "alienation" thing seems to be deep seeded in your mind, to the point of affecting how you think. Maybe seek counseling? I genuinely mean that without any offense.
High school means absolutely nothing at all. My experience wasn't so great. Walking out those doors after graduating was the best feeling ever. It's up to you to sort your own shit out afterwards. Get a job, get laid, travel, get wasted, whatever - just make a change and stick with it. You'll probably never have to see those uppity cunts who thought they were top shit in high school ever again so just forget them. All that cliche bullshit in hollywood movies is somewhat true. It's completely up to you and only you.
As soon as you start work you'll make mates, tbh from the shit tons of people I used to speak to and hang about with from my academy I now only speak to about 10, when you get a bit older you'll realise a few loyal friends is all you need. Quantity is over rated!
The fact that you consider yourself "weird" is a problem. Everyone is different, but don't tell yourself that you are weird because that's not going to help you. Just be yourself and you will find friends. Also being "quiet" usually just means that you are smart. Go to college and just be yourself and people will like you. You are not "fucked up", you were just pretending to be someone you are not. Smoke some weed, and stop being so critical of yourself it's not healthy. "Quiet people have the loudest minds." -Stephen Hawking
In the long run high school dosnt matter. When you go to your 20 year reunion you will understand Live YOUR life and fuck everyone else Don't worry about anyone judging you. Don't worry about impressing people and you will be much happier to live your life your way. I had a mostly bad highschool experiance so I feel you
Indeed. Change the weird and call it Unique People used to call me weird and a spinner growing up but now they tell me all the crazy things i used to talk about growing up they have now realized were true all along so they apologize and what not.