Help?! This is kind of urgent!

Discussion in 'General' started by DJ60x, May 13, 2011.

  1. First and foremost, I don't know where to put this... and BEAR WITH ME this is URGENT!

    And please, at LEAST be 18 (so you know what the fuck you're talking about) and level headed enough to examine both parties and give good advice.

    My girl is pregnant. Okay cool no problem there, I manned up and am first on a waiting list for a job. BUT!!!

    She doesn't know if it's mine or not, it could be her exe's kid. THAT PART KILLS ME! (I haven't cried so much or so hard my life as I have the past couple days)

    More info on that, she still hangs with her ex and talks to him because their supposed to stay friends. It bothers me knowing that she had sex with him before we got together but that was beyond my control and I can't let that bother how I feel about her.

    She's admitted she still loves her ex. (More than me, but not IN LOVE) But that's because he's helped her through a lot of personal problems. Okay cool, still doesn't bother me much.

    Did she cheat on me? I hope not. I believe she didn't but there's still that doubt because SHE HAS DOUBT! (Why would you doubt who's kid it was if you weren't cheating?)

    We're getting a paternity test and shit ASAP but I'm stressed. I smoke pot WAY less frequently, but I NEED to smoke right now to cope. (I have no outlet)

    My mother, who didn't wanna be a Grandma, even says I should because it'll make me think more clearly. (She's also against weed and won't allow smoking it in her house.)

    My girl said if it's mine (the kid) she don't even want me smoking even the most miniscule amount of weed. (I don't want that around my pride n joy anyway but there are ways around shit, always. ALWAYS!)

    Should I just give up smoking for good? I don't WANT to. I've definitely considered what is best for the kid but there are other means of partaking and my girl will not let me take upon those means.

    She believes if you smoke pot consistantly on a "I'll only smoke one time, one day out of 6 months" that you're still considered a pot head. She also believes it runs my life but that isn't the case. Ever since I met her my heart has made HER my TOP PRIORITY!

    She's given me the ultimatum, stay with her and be clean or smoke pot and lose her.

    To me it makes no sense considering I TRY (I still do from time to time, it's called jealousy) to not let her ex and her's friendship bother me. I almost want to say "well if you stay friends with him, I'm still going to smoke pot" but I don't want that to piss her off and me losing even the chance to find out if it is mine or not.

    Help me please? I feel like I'm suffocating, I feel like a part of me is dying on the inside. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
  2. Yeah I stopped reading after you said it doesn't bother you that your girlfriend loves her ex boyfriend more than you.

    Get out of that relationship. Too much drama.

  3. The problem with that statement is even without the drama, that even if there is a chance the kid could be mine, I would do everything in my power to stay in my kid's life.

    The coward in me wants to take the easy way out and ditch her.

    The man in me wants to be a part of, what could potentially be my, kid's life.
  4. You should be more concerned with your relationship than weed. I'm not saying you aren't, it just had to be said.

    The details you provided on her, I believe, would have most guys thinking "fuck that shady bitch."

    Seriously man. Could be yours, she fucks the ex, says she loves him, using word play and already trying to control you. Bad place to be man.

    I hope you find clarity and serenity sir.
  5. Yeah man, Get out of there fast.

    I've been in this kind of situation before, Except there was no ex boyfriend, but that didn't stop her from whoring it up, while I was too busy working to provide for our future family, to give her the dick that she so desperately needed.

    She clearly doesn't know her facts when it comes to weed. It's obviously not ruining your life, and if shes that hung up on it, she doesn't seem worth the trouble. Break up with her, and see how fast she goes back to her ex.

    If you go through with this, you will probably regret it for the rest of your life.
    I know I would.
  6. all this shit she making you go through and she wants you to quit ... fuck that
  7. You can still be there for him, even if you aren't with her.
  8. Thanks everybody who answered. I don't think she's cheating on me though. Potential? Absolutely.

    But I'm not going to jump to conclusions.

    I'm mostly concerned about how to stay in my kid's life it if is mine.
  9. May or may not help the situation: One of her ex's ruined pot for me. She isn't hung over it to be hung over it. It's because of an abusive asshole whose life really DID revolve around pot.
  10. Let me see if I'm hearing you straight, broseph.

    Your girlfriend has admitted that she's still in love with her ex? Who she currently still talks to, and spends time with? And she has doubt wether or not the kid is yours?

    If she never cheated on your, than she would never have any doubt.

    And I have a hard time believing she's giving you all this gruff over smoking a little dope.

    My advice? Leave her. Nowhere in your post did you give me reason to believe she's worth all this drama. Hey, maybe she is, I don't know. But I'd leave her.

  11. Another road block for me. I'd want my girl and my baby. I turn the other cheek about her ex because he cheated on her. Yes, I might make her sound like a bitch but there is a lot of right in the relationship. I can honestly without-a-doubt say this is (was?) the best relationship I've been in BY FAR!
  12. DNA test.

  13. #13 DJ60x, May 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2011

    Just posted more about that. (Just in case you don't wanna check, I basically said that this is (was?) the best relationship I've been in so far)

    I DO believe shit is a little shady. Hopefully we won't have to result to a paternity test.

    She's getting an ultrasound soon. And given that she only admitted to being with him a week before we got together and me waiting a month of being with her to do anything with her sexual, the ultrasound should be the dead giveaway. Still kills me.
  14. This thread is difficult for myself, and I'm sure others, because of all these question marks and maybes you put in. It sounds like you aren't the least bit convinced so how can we?

    Also Royksopp did end it. Just get one done.
  15. If the kid is yours you can leave her and be there for him anyway.

    And honestly dude, one of my old roommates stayed with me until she found a place for her and new new don't need to be smoking pot at that point anyway. Babies are fragile prone to a lot of things in their first year, so you should always be sober and on alert in case of an emergency.

    All I got from your post was "my cheating girlfriend is pregnant with her ex boyfriends baby who she still loves more than me and now I'm afraid that I can't smoke pot"..
  16. can't happen until the end of the pregnancy
  17. Is this for real?




    An idiot.

    Ask yourself two questions that even an ape would understand.

    When did she break with her ex?


    When did she realize she was pregnant?

    The lack of this info in the OP makes you sound like a trolling ragefag.
  18. I do feel for you man. That's a real harsh situation, and I do wish you all the best in hopes that everything works out.

  19. My heart believes she's faithful and wants to believe it is my kid because I've already grown attached to the idea of me having a child.

    My "gut feeling" tells me otherwise but my heart seems to change my "gut feeling" periodically throughout the day.

    Amneosyntesis is a must, only if the ultrasound is inconclusive.
  20. If the child is yours, be the best dad you can be, but stay away from her regardless

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