Thankyou. f6 seems sound (and is so either way) assuming the computer then castles, but I'm somewhat worried he may move his pawn to a3 afterwords to try to fuck with my Bishop. Going to work out one or two more moves then likely take your advice. Edit; 6... f6 7. O-O Still annoyed... this is about as complex of an opening as I can deal with.
"Accidently" bump the table with your knee so a some pieces fall on the floor. When the computer goes to pick his up quickly shuffle some things around in your favor.
best option would be to move your horse to defend that pawn hes about to take. actually a good move because he cannot use his horse because he would be in check.
Just walk around making sarcastic comments for 40 minutes then someone will say something innocuous which will magically make you realize the correct move and you can save the patients life...I mean win at chess.