help me get out of my head!

Discussion in 'General' started by screech, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. hey guys, i'm in this really weird sad place right now and nothing's helping. so, i cordially invite you to tell me stories that are nice or funny or uplifting or shit like that! please help restore my faith in human decency?

    i will start:
    i was waiting for a train this one time, and this adorable little boy who was like two years old climbed right up onto my lap and was immediately at ease. cute little guy.
  2. I seen the train coming, so I tossed the boy on the tracks and walked away like nothing happened.

    The end.
  3. [ame=]Genghis Khan BBC 1/5 - YouTube[/ame]
  4. This one girl I knew pissed herself when I was in middle school.. I remember at the end of the class she just sat there in a puddle of her own mess until everyone left. People still talk about to this day all these years later.

    Hope I made you lol ;)
  5. Depression is for pussies, I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.
  6. hmmmmmmmmmmmm at work the other day I broke TWO peoples egg cartons (im a bagger) (not on purpose)...but yea thought it was funny. Ive never broken anything while bagging grocerys but whatevs man I was rpetty high at work that day so I just forgot about it.

  7. when i was 14 one of my best friends shit on my bathroom floor. on accident too! he fucking missed the toilet. the minute his pants came down, shit was following them down to the ground! it was so sick. it splattered all over shit, and left the most gut wrenching smell you could imagine. worse smell than regular poop. i made the fucker clean it up. the worse thing about it, my parents came home while he was in the middle of cleaning it, they got so pissed and grounded me! wtf..
  8. that made me laugh pretty good
  9. I have a friend that everybody calls screech :smoke:

    Whats good man? :smoke:
  10. #11 Tosh., Mar 28, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 28, 2012
    In 1st grade. My little boy instincts to get this girl to stop sexually harassing me, was to football tackle her on the playground and throw sand in her face, all while sitting on her.

    didn't even get in trouble.
  11. Go to bed...everything's quiet when you're asleep.

    Go for a walk. Nothing gets your head more right than a long solitary walk. Seriously.

  12. alas, i am a lady!
    unless you call your ladies "man," which is fiiine by me.

    i'm digging the poop stories. seriously, who doesn't like a good poop story?

    the hardest i've laughed all year was when my friend told me about the time he shit himself in best buy as a kid. oh man. that still makes me laugh.
  13. One time me and my family went on vacation and drove to vegas, I was young enough to be in diapers, not sure why we went to vegas then but anyways on the car ride home I farted I guess and It was soooooooooooo bad that my mom stopped the car and checked my diaper and it turned out I crapped sooo bad man they tell me there was corn and everything, it was the worst smell ever they say lol too bad I cant remember it.
  14. lol I thought that said CUM and everything haha..

    ...I have one from grade 5.

    That game you play when you have two teams kicking a ball over a shed, one team on each side, and whoever catches it runs over and throws the ball at people, whoever gets hit, is on that team's team..

    ..Well we were playing one day, and my buddy was sick and tired of this chick that kept cheating, pretending she caught the ball when we heard it bounce, so he went and got those rubber pepsi balls, y'know?

    Well, he threw two WAY up high and ran over on the other side of the shed with three more, and when he got over there he seen this chick just get NAILED in the face with this rubber pepsi ball, and he winds up and throws the 3 balls he has, one more nails her in the face, one in the gut and one misses... this girl just got raped for cheating lol.

    She's laying down sobbing while we're running, balls occasionally roll over her, lol funny shit.

    Another time, I was in the gymnasium with those pepsi balls, and me and my buddy opened a package of new ones and were throwing them wildly around the gym, and we left the office door open to the gym and one bounced in there and mock 6 and just nailed the DVD/CD player they used on the gymnasium speaker system. Holy shit did that suck..

    ..Told the truth right away.
  15. whats a pepsi ball?
  16. all you gotta remember is that most everything that everyone ever worries about, including you and i, is frivolous and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. that sorta makes life hilarious. we worry about such silly things. we are like dog's feircly gaurding our bones. its just a bone, but its all we got. so we bark about it. when you are able to laugh at the silliness in yourself and others, life all of a sudden becomes alot brighter.

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