Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Disclosure:

The statements in this forum have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are generated by non-professional writers. Any products described are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Website Disclosure:

This forum contains general information about diet, health and nutrition. The information is not advice and is not a substitute for advice from a healthcare professional.

Help me come up with ways to sound like a noob stoner

Discussion in 'Marijuana Consumption Q&A' started by Jed Mosely, Apr 3, 2014.

  1. I got a drug abuse assessment (lol) and im tryna get the minimum assessing...assessment. In other words, im tryna downplay the fuck outta this assessment to sound like ive only smoked a couple times in my life. Yes, i could just say i dont smoke much but that's not fun. 
     
    So if they were to ask me, "how long does it take you to get high" or some shit like that, i can't say "well i got high after one or two tokes". I gotta be like "i felt it after i took a puff" or some gay shit like that. 
     
    In reality, the only reason i made this topic was to see what noob vocabulary yall know. Im gonna downplay this assessment anyways, i just might use some vocab i see in this topic ;)

     
  2. I feel like mainly noobs use the term 'pot'


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  3. just dont tell them??? or if its a court order just lie and say youve only smoked a few times. you dont have to 'sound' like a noob and they cant just make shit up that you didnt say because you used some sort of lingo that only an 'experienced' stoner would use. also they drug test at those so watch out. ask if theyre gonna ua they may or may not. 
     
  4. This punk little kid asked if I "had a weed He could smoke " say something to that effect with a serious face haha.

    knives heated dull red
    release sweet smoky nectar
    I am lifted high
     
  5. I didn't even get high, I wasn't seeing anything cool, I couldn't stop coughing and my face was hot as fuck.
     
  6. lol "I wasn't seeing anything cool" is a good one.
     
  7. #7 PC555, Apr 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2014
    Tell them you stopped because you didn't want to get lung cancer.
     
  8. I had to do the same thing and I didn't even have drug charges. I was on probation, so I wasn't smoking or anything. 
     
    The lady who did the assessment insisted that I go to 10 drug and alcohol classes based solely off me saying that I had used drugs in the past. I passed their UA and everything... lady still made me go.
     
    It's all about $$$. It was $15 a class. She used any excuse she could find. 
     
  9. just play the part of someone thats sheltered, tell them youve smoked one time and you got fucked for it, with some people you met playing basketball, and will never smoke again
     
  10. #10 Sgtstadanko707, Apr 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2014

    Ahhh. It's been called pot for over 50 years.

    You mean you sound like a noob when you say loud, kush and dro.

    You kinda sound like a noob for that post.
     
  11. #12 Sgtstadanko707, Apr 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2014
    ....
     
  12. it's not very hard to sound like a noob. just don't use any slang, call joints "marijuana cigarettes" and instead of saying puff or toke, say drag.
     
  13. Just say you've only smoked like 1 weed in your whole life and you smoked it in a weed cigarette
     
  14. ^^ :D:D:D::D:D:D:D this guy is the shit
     
  15. Never in my life have I heard a veteran smoker say "let's go smoke some pot"

    Of course it's an old term but that doesn't mean everyone uses it.


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  16. Am I the only one that thinks pot is a disgusting word for weed? Use the word marijuana when coming to that subject, or pot I guess cause thats what parents/elders mainly say most propaganda is based on those words and do the lung cancer one or you don't want to lose anymore brain cells so you stopped lol
     
  17. I had a drug assessment before and the guy only asked questions like "how often would you smoke?" and stuff along those lines. I downplayed it a lot and it was easy for me because I had been on a T break for a month so my thoughts weren't very stoner-y lol.

    Just downplay whatever questions the person assessing you will ask. Say you only have smoked with friends, socially, ect.
     
  18. Tell the cops that you were smoking super dank fire OG watermelon space dick. When they ask what that is, tell them that it's an amazing strain. Sure that won't make you sound nooby but it will sound funny as hell
     
  19.  
    LOLOL "Super dank fire OG watermelon space dick" 
     

Share This Page