Having so many problems with sex

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Infinite Jest, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. Alright, so here are the basic problems I'm having (note: I've only had sex 4 times, first girlfriend and girl I've been with, been together about 3 months)

    -I'm having troubles staying/getting hard enough to have sex. Like, I have no issues getting hard whenever we just fool around or something, in fact its the opposite. Sometimes just making out is enough to give me a huge erection. However, I was very nervous the first time and ever since then whenever I know we are going to have sex it takes me forever to get hard. She usually ends up having to go down on me before I even get hard enough to have sex. I've never had this problem before so its very frustrating for me.

    -Whenever I am hard enough to actually have sex, when I put the condom on I almost instantly begin to lose my erection. Its terrible, like I just can't stay hard when I'm trying to put it on and then it becomes even more difficult. Basically what we have to do is she has to go down on me and then quickly put the condom on, otherwise when I do it I just can't stay hard.

    -I'm having trouble actually penetrating her. Part of this problem is that even after the condom is on, I'm still not hard enough to have sex. Like, I do have an erection, but my dick is still kinda flopping around and not hard and firm so it makes getting inside her very difficult. We kind of went around this problem by having her get on top but still. Sometimes when I actually do get inside I'm still not hard enough.

    -And lastly, probably the most frustrating of all my problems, is that I cum way too fast. This isn't like premature ejactulation, this is pre-premature ejaculation. I haven't lasted longer than 15 seconds. The first time we had sex I came within like 5 seconds. Its so embarrasing for me, I don't know what to do. My girlfriend is very tight, but still I shouldn't be ejaculating this quickly.

    I feel like most of my problems are mental, but its still incredibly frustrating. The second time we had sex she was trying to get me hard and the whole time I just couldn't stop thinking about how frustrated I was and she could tell and it basically killed the mood. She is very supportive and all, she knows she's the first girl I've been with and I'm very inexperienced, but I still can't help but feel that she is disappointed. She says she still enjoys it and has a good time, but I don't see how thats possible when we only have sex for 20 seconds tops. Foreplay is good and all, and when we weren't having sex I would be hard almost the entire time. Now its the exact opposite.

    I told her that getting high beforehand might help, as I used to cum way too early from blowjobs, but ever since I got one while we were both stoned I can last much longer. But then again, I wouldn't want to create a situation where I feel like I could only have sex while high. I definitely think it would help relax me and keep my mind from dwelling on my frustrations. Any advice that would help an inexperienced guy who is sucking at sex so far? I thought I would have some troubles my first time but I never thought it would be this bad :confused:

    TLDR: I am cumming way too fast, having issues staying hard, lose my erection when putting a condom on, and am having trouble actually getting my penis inside her.
  2. Aiight kido...heres the deal...all you got to do is recognize that you are in a position to enjoy the body of your babe...now believe it or not the best drug on this planet thats the most highly addictive is called babe...yeah it brings on the ultimate high...now if the hit your trying to take is getting you limp before actually hitting it or if you find yourself in a position where the scent and a slow feeling gets you hard but you cant quite make it to the hit ..... then you need to do one of two things....either get a stronger drug meaning a babe that can stay turning you on or simply relax your mind and clear it so that you can take things slowly....

    Remember we are in a realm full of babes....and there are people less fortunate because their facing 100 year sentences and will never feel the touch of a woman again in a realm full of dudes...we are simply called the lucky ones because we have the luxury of enjoyin a woman get booty naked for us so that we can screw their brains out....thus enjoy the moment your in by taking it easy and taking your time especially if you have a patient babe that understands your situation....once you realize its time to enjoy the womans touch, her body and her company then the hit that you take should give you that ultimate high that you been looking for...:cool:
  3. Aha sounds pretty embarrassing, but I kind of go through the same thing. Between not enough forplay IE: she doesn't like receiving head. That, and I over think everything. I mean, she's wet, but not wet enough. Not only that, not trying to brag here... I have a decent sized dick. Not trying to sound cocky, but it hurts her, so we have to go slow. I over think everything so I get limp pretty fast, and that doesn't help at all. I say just be as calm as possible, think how lucky you are for getting some pussy, and above all, relax. It's going to get better.... a lot better.

  4. Yezzzzzirrrrrrrr ???//
  5. A lot of people go through this. I went through it. You're just over thinking it. Stop worrying about whether or not you're dick is going to get hard. Just enjoy the moment. Try being more intimate. Kiss her neck softly. Then slowly move down to her breasts and give her nipples a suck and maybe a little nibble. Appreciate her body. Look at her. Feel her. And remember; STOP worrying about your dick.

    Once you start focusing on what you're about to experience you won't have these problems anymore.

  6. This.

    I had the same sorta problems, and i got over them after the first couple times. You just gotta stop being nervous, cuz its really hard to get it up when all youre thinking about is getting it up.
  7. your nerves are getting to you, you need to relax and be comfortable with your partner and you will be fine.

    Don't sweat it and stop worrying so much and you will be fine.

    Put the condom on and then fool around and when you're ready, slide it in.
  8. You just gotta calm down, smoke when you wanna smoke and enjoy pussy
  9. As for getting it hard and in, just let it happen dude. It's a natural process and doesn't require your head.( the one on you neck that is) The less you worry and the more exerience you get these problems will fade. As for lasting longer maybe try busting one b4 sex. The second round usually a lot easier to control.
  10. Sometimes you just can't get hard. Took me a solid 5 minutes the other night to get it up for some unknown reason but after I did I was fine.

    You just need to relax and not over think shit. The less thinking the better the sex.
  11. Honestly dude, thats pretty sad. You have a NAKED WOMEN WANTING YOU TO FUCK HER AND YOU CANT STAY HARD AND BUST IN 5 SECONDS. Maybe you should try getting naked with a dude and fucking him in the ass and see how long you last and how hard you are. Im not being a dick im being serious maybe you will find out your cock enjoys naked dudes and other dicks and hairy ass holes rather then clean pussy and tits. Your dick has a head and brain of its own let it explore all options
  12. Sex can suck (no pun intended) at first, don't worry, I had a problem with condoms the first times too.. anxiety can be a factor I believe, just relax and try to enjoy it

    After a while the bad part goes away and you get awesome sexy time

    Tried my best not to be a douchebag, now I'll just go before the urge comes back
  13. Honestly dude, your reply was pretty sad. Maybe you should grow the fuck up. You're obviously an immature douche bag and most likely a virgin. I don't think this section of the forums is for you.

  14. Is this what helped you through it? Or what??

    If this is not your personal experience ( although it seems it is) than wtf Is the point in bashing this dude who is already down??

    I call for him to officially apoligize! Who supports my call!:smoke:
  15. step 1: jerk off earier in the day before your going to have sex, thisll make you last longer

    step 2: when you with her do your best to relax and get comfortable

    step 3: contingency plan - bring viagra
  16. Maybe its the condom? I can never have sex with a condom; even when I lost my virginity I rawdogged it. Maybe the condom is too tight, that tightness plus the lack of sensation always makes me go floppy.

    You're also really new though, so these kinds of problems are to be expected; its more than likely your nerves. I think everyone was somewhat nervous the first few times they had sex. You're probably just not physically comfortable with your gf yet, give it time I'm sure you'll get better.
  17. In other words, "PM ATripp420 if you're interested." LOL!

    But really mang, like most everyone said, relax a bit. Have a drink and dont over think!

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