Guys, I'm feeling pretty low right now. Let me give you a bit of background before I jump in - My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years. If anyone says something like "dump the bitch" or something like that, I'll fucking snap if someone talks that way about the girl I love. I love to smoke weed, although I am relatively new at it. I love the way it makes me feel, how it makes fun things more fun, and boring things fun. It's one of the best discoveries I've ever made. She hates it. Although she has never tried it, and swears she never will, she hates everything about it, and has told me she does not want to be associated with someone who does it. It bothers me that she judges something before she knows anything about it, but that's not the real issue here. I have a hard time lying to her, actually, it's impossible for me to do so. The best case scenario for me would be for her to not bring it up, and therefore as fa as she knew I wouldn't be doing it, etc. But it's not that easy. She continues to talk about it, and I continue to beat around the bush about it. She knows that I have done it in the past, she knows that I want to do it in the future, but she doesn't know I smoke about 2 times I day, every day. I feel trapped. Like whatever decision I have to make, I will suffer from it. I feel as if she isn't letting me be my own person, make my own decisions. It frusterates me. We had alot of problems last year because I drank quite a bit more than I used to (It was my first year of university) and that caused quite a bit of problems. Jesus guys, I'm 20 years old, I should be past posting my feelings on a message board. But I just don't know what to do. I don't want to stop smoking weed, but I can't be honest with her and tell her I do every day. I love her, but I can't go on like this...
If MaryJane were a part of your life before you and your girl hooked up, then I would say that she needs to understand that it's part of who you are and she either respects that or not. However, since you are relatively new at this lifestyle and she was around before you chose to be a stoner, then the situation is way different. The best you can do is try to educate her on MaryJane and show her that it doesn't turn you into a bad person that's irresponsible. If she allows herself to be open enough to try to understand that will help. If afterwards, she still doesn't like it, then you need to decide on your girl or MaryJane. Or you could work on a compromise on when you'd do it, maybe. I personally couldn't be with someone who was against it. Even though I'm on a break, it's still part of me and my lifestyle. I've been doing it for a very long time though. Again, your new to it. Whatever happens, good luck!
if you can't go on like that, then you have to step up and be honest. "I feel as if she isn't letting me be my own person, make my own decisions. " << you seem as if you're the type that needs your independance, your free choice. your girl loves you, or should, for who you are. if that isn't the case, i wouldn't see the point in the relationship anyways. good luck, i'm rootin' for you.
Thanks guys, I appreciate that. I'm sure we'll be able to reach a compromise that makes it work. As for choosing between MaryJane and my girl, I could never make a decision like that. I love them both too much to choose between them.
You have to be honest about it. Nothing good comes from deception and outright lies in a relationship. Hopefully a comprimise can be met.
You could look at it as having to choose between the gal and the ganj, but at the same time she is having to make a choice between you and her fear of drugs. Take this all with a grain of salt, I'm just calling it as I see it. Try and get an open discourse going, instead of just getting the canned negative responses and letting it go. You've got to make her challenge her own thoughts on the matter, she needs to question herself. Stop beating around the bush, aka stop lying! Be honest, if you love her than you owe her that much. If you can't be honest with her, then you will stop being honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, then your relationship might already fucked. She's not going to like it at first, you know that. But she will NEVER get used to the idea if you keep it shrouded in dishonesty, the negative images in her head will be reinforced. You're not going to pull a fast one on her here. Good luck, hopefully keepin' it real won't get ugly.
this whole topic has came up so many times since i first joined GC. the love you show for your girl is a whole different type of love you show for bud, you dont get to interact with bud like you do with your GF pot just makes it better for you to do stuff with her lmao.. just think for yourself and maturely and you and only you can actually come up w. a resolution for this because it isnt our life or girlfriends u know the situation best.
Listen, my husband doesnt smoke. He doesnt like it but he understands that it is a part of me. ( I too am on a break for a little while ) Its all about being honest. Along with everyone else, I agree that lying to her about it will get you no where fast, if anything , if and when she were to find out before you told her she'd probably be upset. As RMJL said, educate her about it. Ask her why it bothers her to see you smoke. Hearing her side and reasons may help you both to reach a comprimise. Good luck !
dude, ok, ask yourself a few questions: are you willing to change for her? would you do anything for her? is she willing to change for you? willing to cope with it? is she not cool with all drugs? or is it just the illegal thing and you could go the way of legal herb/legal drugs? It sucks to say, but this situation can only be looked at as one or the other, either her or weed if the answer is no to the questions. It sucks, I know, I've had a similar problem. Just let her know that you really love her and everything and that loser her would ruin you, yet your interests (smoking) are your interests and does she love you enough not to try and change you? hope it goes well for you, bro...
Tell her that alcohol is a drug, potentially worse than marijuana. Tell her that the government uses propaganda. She might not listen, but it's worth a shot...
alright best advice i can give u is along the lings of what everyone else is saying... first and formost bro u gotta be honest with urself and with ur gurl... u say u love her so much then well in order to keep a good relationship going there has to be honesty in it. secondly if she doesnt want to be associated with someone who is smoking but you wanna smoke then talk to her bout it... let her kno that it doesnt change nething about the 2 of u... and it most certainly does not change who u are. u are still the same person, maybe work something out or come to a medium like you wont smoke around her or infront of her or be high around her if shell accept it that ul smoke when ur not with her maybe when ur out with ya buddies... relationships are built on trust, honesty and coming to an agreement on things that u dissagree on. the only way that u are going to get past arguements and dissagreements is if you two talk things out. sorry for a long post and i hope that what ive said can atleast be of some help. if you need anything or a lil friendly advice dont hesitate to send me a pm or something. ive been in different situations all like the one ur in. i hope things work out for u.
There are very few things in life that are fair Trev, and this stoner's Gordian knot of “weed or the woman “is no different. I can definitely identify with your desire to continue smoking Marijuana. But in the real world all we're left with are choices and it sounds like your significant other is really against your Marijuana use. I was prepared to address that, and then read down to this part of your thread where you're sure you can reach a compromise. So I guess I won't answer the question then. Besides we all have our own take on your situation but only you know your girl. I'll say this instead though, if your compromise is unsuccessful but you still love her with the same intensity, choose love bro. Marijuana will always be around--God willing--but love is as rare and precious as a dream realized. Nothing in this world or the world to come is more important than the experience, the feeling, or the hope of love. I've smoked a lot of really good dope in my time, but love Trev, love has visited me only a few times. And when it left me I was grieved to be sure but I was a more complete person than with any other single act in my life. To illustrate it further: If I had a choice between truly loving a woman for one week and no weed for the rest of my life, or smoking forever but being alone I'd choose the week with the woman every single time. I'd rather have the memory of loving her than hazy memories of all the dank I'll ever smoke. It's not a choice that everyone has to make and some people can feel perfectly fine if they ditch the girl, but experience has shown me that when you smoke that last bowl down to ash and that's all that you got left, you've really had nothing at all. You're so young bro; enjoy life and love because you never know when it's all going to be taken away from you. Head up young man! “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.†~François, duc de La Rochefoucauld~ Stay green.
Wow guys I was skeptical about posting this, but you guys have all made me feel a thousands times better. I'm feeling great now, not only have we worked out a compromise - she thinks she can handle my smoking and drinking as long as I'm honest with her. I also had a great night at work, and to make things even better, I did a bit of shopping before work to make myself happy. Bought a sweet 2 inch glass pipe, perfect for what I need on the road. That and a glass screen for it and a pack of juicy jays green apple i'm happy. Anyway, I want to thank everyone for helping me stay positive, and you are all right - being honest about it is the best way to come about....and if it comes down to Pot or Cara, I choose Cara, it's really a no-brainer for me. Here's hoping it doesn't come to that...I'm going to go smoke a bowl.
The Bullshit! video in my signature is pretty entertaining and educational about pot (and drugs in general). Tell her to watch it with you. Watch it with her and make sure she pays attention. Try to educate her, don't leave her. Be patient though..
Yeah but she's trying to control him and nobody should try to control anyone. Everyone is free to make there own decisions
In an ideal world what you're saying should be true, but in the real world people operate under false assumptions everyday about a great many things. We could choose not to associate with these people or we could try to understand them and perhaps through tolerance find another way to reach out. You decide which works best for you and go for it. Peace.