Have you heard these??

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by AmsterdamdreamN, Jun 6, 2003.

  1. A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final
    exam.. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there
    tomorrow.
    I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
    illness,
    or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other
    excuses
    whatsoever!"
    A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks,
    "What
    would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
    utter
    sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their
    laughter and snickering.
    When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
    student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd
    have
    to
    write the exam with your other hand."
    it took 15 minutes for the class to come to order

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm
    glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
     
  2. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  3. hehehe that was a classic!
     
  4. nIce hahaha
     
  5. little Billys always had a problem with asking to many questions and riddles
    one day he asks his teacher
    " 3 woman are all eating use cream,
    one is swirling her toungue around the top
    the second is slurping the top and taking bites out of the cone
    and the third lady is lightly licking over the top of the cone and running her toungue down the side to get the melting ice cream

    teacher, do you know which one of these ladies is married?"

    the teacher responds
    "the one whos licking over the top and running her toungue down the side to get the melting cream"

    young billy responds"no..........the one wearing the wedding ring,but i like the way you think"
     

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