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Have you ever wondered?

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by TooSicKs, Feb 28, 2003.

  1. TRUE FACT.... Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
    Only in America......do drugstores
    make the sick walk all the way to the
    back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    Only in America.do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    Only in America do banks leave Both Doors open and then chain the
    pens to the counters.
    Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
    Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    Only in America......do we use the
    word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
    'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
    Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    EVER WONDER .....
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but
    darkens our skin?
    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    Why don't you ever see the headline
    "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word ?
    Why is it that doctors call what they do
    Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you
    have to click on "Start"?
    Why is lemon juice made with artificial
    flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
    with real lemons?
    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    Why is the time of day with the slowest
    traffic called rush hour?
    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    When dog food is new and improved
    tasting, who tests it?
    Why didn't Noah swat those two
    Why do they sterilize the needle for
    lethal injections?
    You know that indestructible black box
    that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    they make the whole plane out of that
    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    Why are they called apartments when
    they are all stuck together?
    If con is the opposite of pro, is
    Congress the opposite of progress?
    If flying is so safe, why do they call
    the airport the terminal?

    Now that you've smiled at least once,
    it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
  2. Hahahahaha all that stuff is so true!

    Only in america!
  3. yup, i think my favorite one was the poli-tics
  4. okay reading that well listening to "Run like an antelope" just makes it 4000X funnier than it already was!
  5. its wierd isnt it
  6. heh heh, pretty good stuff.

    and i just had to comment on run like an antelope: it is incredible.

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