I'm 19, started growing and smoking at 15 , smoked about 5g a day every day all day until about 8 months ago I stopped so that I could get a job etc and get life back on track , I now have a girlfriend, job etc. And just started growing again but I feel like I'm just kidding myself and I really want to go to southern spain , sleep rough , and grow weed . Ill either find people that already grow weed or start my own farm . I have 10k english pounds saved up . Am I being stupid or shud I just follow my heart ? My head tells me its a stupid idea but I think about it every day and feel I would be soso hapy to be soso free . My parents said they would b cool with me going off to spain so there really is nothing stopping me other than I feel its so socially like unaxcepted . Ps. I'm not a loner , a wierdo or anything , I go out with my mates twice a week we go clubbing etc I'm a normal kid , but I feel like this life just isn't me and I don't want to keep pretending I'm someone that I'm not . I'm a happy at heart . What u guys think should I just go spain ? I'd rather be freezing cold searching for scraps of food than waking up at 6am and going to fu****g again . Its all so pointless and I don't care for material things at all really . I just want good friends , my health , a dog , and to enjoy the little things in life and do as I wish . What u guys think ? I'm not joking I'm being serious I want to go live in bushes etc and travel around smoking weed , even if I didn't have weed I would still love it just meeting new people and feeling free . What u guys think shud I do it ?