Has Not Having A Good Relationship With Your Father Affected Your Life?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by billsxclinton, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. #1 billsxclinton, Jun 9, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2013
    Positively or negatively? How? Elaborate.

    Me not having a good relationship with my daddy has made me shy. I have extreme social anxiety. I honestly question myself what others think about me. I always wonder if I'm good enough. When I see others my age enjoying life with both of their parents, I won't lie ya boy gets a little jelly.
     
  2. #2 FaMiLytilIdie, Jun 9, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2013
    He chose a needle over me. Does it bother me? Honestly no. I have said this before and after having a child I still will say it. The warm comforting feeling of the unmentionable that he chose over me is reasonable, I'm sure it was much more soothing and easier to cope with than a screaming child. I don't hate him, I don't love him. I just don't care. Did it make me a better or worse person? Doubt it. I just don't give a fuck either way. I know who he is, I don't care if he's dead or alive. He doesn't care for me, I don't care for him that's just how it is. To be honest I think I would have HATED having a dad. I had a Grandpa but Grandparents get soft in their old age. I think if I would have had a male figure telling me what to do throughout childhood I would have killed him, no joke. I don't like being told what to do. Just based on what ex's Dads have been like and my current fiancees Dad and even how I am with my son I would have HATED having a Dad. So to be honest I am very thankful for not having a Dad. Even though I sometimes think I feel bad for my Mom for having no partner or help from a man. The Ironic part is everyone always acted like it was a big deal but I have already turned out better than my Dad AND my Mom, with no Dad. I don't think it matters. If you choose to be a bitch that's your problem don't blame it on stupid shit like not having a Dad, take responsibility for your own actions and choices you can't constantly put your shit off on other people.Especially people who were never there in the first place.
     
  3. I have a good relationship with my father. If it was the other way round , I don't think I would be able to enjoy my life. He is so caring and understanding that I cannot afford to live without him. Anyways, the herb I buy comes from his money.
     
  4. #4 citydwella, Jun 9, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2013
    Ok well my dad had 2 sides growing up. One side was he was a nice funny guy, generally cool to be around. Did i see that side much? Not really

    My other side of my dad was the mean, uncaring, tear the house apart alchoholic..he would run you out of the house literally, he would get you kicked out. Or make you move. But i love my dad only for the reason he birthed me and he didnt cause me physical abuse, other than that hes a stone cold selfish alchoholic who gets smashed off malt liqour.

    It also did affect me, i have very bad anxiety and maybe ptsd when i see him drunk. My heart beats fast and i get shaky. I.also am pretty shy and depressed and am into illegal things. Pretty much everything im into is illegal, which is weed and graffiti.

    Sent from my LG-MS770 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
  5. I didn't know my dad until I was 9 or 10, and after that he wasn't really my dad, just some guy I saw around from time to time. It allowed me to form a closer bond with my mum who I honestly choose to hang out with more than some friends of mine. It may have made a negative impact in relations to some of my social insecurities, but they are small and far between. I certainly would have been a different person if I'd grown up with a father but I'm happy how I am and don't think it made an impact either way.
     
  6. My dad and I were very distant from each other in pretty much every way; we both just really half-assed the relationship. I'm guessing this has something to do with the fact that I can't emotionally attach myself to people and have commitment issues.
     
  7. #7 JustSomeHighGuy, Jun 9, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2013
    My mind actually has recently almost like showing me different things of the past relating to a sloppy relationship with my Dad.  I have very little understanding of the world and how to be a man perse which I believe to be because both of us arent showingly caring individuals.  My Dad made sure I didnèt mess around or he would take me were I needed to go. 
     
    Due to the way I was raised untill I hit the herb and found the blessing of introspection, I never thought nesessary to watch how the world worked or think for myself.  I never really understood how to communicate with people.  I just tried to have as much fun as I possibly could through pushing my fears ( Childlife, Hitting jumps, climbing crazy shit, etc)  I also never knew that I was like this.  Than I started getting severe anxiety and just seemed as if other people knew the answers and I would just float along with the crowds. 
     
    That was all because I wasnt trying to change anything although I really didnt notice a problem because i could hop on my bike or stuff my face in some video games.  My problems just got worse and worse(Anxiety because I felt as if I didnt know how to act in social situations), Now that Im an adult who would like to do something with myself I have to really focus and try to understand to make my way throughout.  I am in no way stupid, but you would laugh at the reactions my brain has too some situations.  On a unrelated not too TC,  Everything we do has been taught and learned, you just play with it a bit to make it self.
     
  8. My dad never acted much as an authority figure towards me it has always been more of a friend relationship. My parents also had a fucked up relationship and I think that combined with the fact that my first relationship was pretty emotionally damaging definitely has left me with bonding issues but it could be worse you know
     
  9. Yeah. I can't even talk about my problems being a young man with no direction. He literally just doesn't say anything. Fucking useless. I want to father children and intend on being an awesome dad..
     
  10. damn its crazy how grass city forums has become a place i can get help with everything and talk to people who dont judge over everything i love this place and i love all the different people on here. like my dad left me and my mom last year in may and im 16 so it first i was like watevs but in the long run it started to bother me but honestly i just have to come to the point where i can just say fuck it
     
  11. You spelled 18 wrong bro the administrators have been tripping

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Grasscity Forum mobile app

     
  12. oh shit ho
    oh wow how can i mess up on something that stupid my apologizes guys
     
  13. #13 ByePhilipe, Jun 10, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
    Syke
     
  14. My dad had a bad problem with the drink for a while but has been sober for about 3 years. I was young when he and my mother got divorced and had problems, and I remember some things in pieces but nonetheless I think it affected my positively and negatively.

    For the better, I think my dads absence for some time and how me my mom and brother had to get by just the three of us has made me stronger than most. It helps me deal with problems in a logical way. But sometimes I dwell on what could have been. I look at other families sometimes with spiteful jelousy, and just think why couldnt I have that? But I've learned for the most part to let things go, that the experiences we have in life are out of our control. And somehow I know that things worked out the way they were supposed to, and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
     
  15. I have a good relationship with my father. 
     
     
    We didn't for awhile when i lived in CA. He was pissed because me moving 3,000 miles away stressed my mom out. We didn't speak for almost 2 yrs. 
     
    I will always be thankful that i can discuss anything with him. I know he won't judge me and will point me in the right direction.  I can't imagine my life without him, i know i will never recover when he passes away. 
     
  16. Don't care for him.

    It did affect me growing up as an adolescent, but not in a "I miss my dad" way. More like I didn't have guidance throughout my early life, which in turn affected how I act today.
    Shit's good. Haha
     
  17. He was my father half the time, and an alcoholic the other half, I am very close to my mother, but have a good relationship with my father. He's the reson I cant express feelings much less myself, I never knew me untill I started smoking, I only knew the person he wanted me to be, the childhood he wanted to live. I never understood sports, but was thrown in everyone despite being sborter than everyone growing up (I'm only 5'7" now and I'm 24). But he has taught me all the life lessons I need to know, from not being scared of physical work, to a well mannered gentleman (in grandmas words). But I love him nonetheless, just hate the drinking.
     
  18. Never knew my real dad i'm glad i didn't. He was a junkie who dodged child support for my whole life. Lazy piece of shit he is. If i ever meet him he'll get a necessary ass whoopin. I was raised by my grandparents and my grandfather really instilled the seeds of my anxiety when i was young. He was paranoid about everything and it rubbed off. We never did get along very well but we made do. We never quite clicked we are just too different of people. I still love him though and appreciate all he's done for me.
     
  19. My father chose powder and rocks over our family. If it wasn't for those vices, we could have lived a happy normal life.....but it didn't happen that way. His ship was sinking and wanted to take the rest of us down with it.

    I honestly don't know how me and my siblings turned out the way we did. I'm the oldest too. I think its because I had a really awesome grandfather who taught me a lot of things and gave me a good moral compass. My brothers seemed to pick up on that.

    It's kind of funny how addicts seem to ne stuck in a time warp. The world keeps turning, people are making progress in their lives. And here they are, still doing the same shit they were doing when they first got hooked.

    I've shared my thoughts about how I thought it would have been better if I didn't have a father at all. But to be honest, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have the awesome relatives that love and support me to this day.

    I still don't think it was worth the ride though.

     
  20. Meh, if i don't do what he wants then he wants nothing to do with me, sucks because i know there's love but theres also life and his is going to end well before he gets the chance to see what mine is going to amount to, he didn't get to do what he wanted because he had to choose to have kids in the spur of the moment, tries to put that on me and say thats the type of life i need to live, i'm like fuck you guy, why would i bring a kid into this world when i sometimes have trouble looking after myself, it just ain't right. In a city of woman looking for a nice paycheck every month a guys gotta be careful as fuck too, its my rubbers or the highway, cunt. 
     

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