Guys, please a girl out! What's your take on this?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by 420ganjababe, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. I'm a female, 23. At the end of January 12 one of my best stoner friends got a new flatmate at the start of the new semester. The new flatmate (27) also happened to be a stoner. We got on great. Like from our first conversation we just clicked. I don't mean 'clicked' necessarily in the romantic sense... but let's put it this way, we spent nearly every night together since the day we met. It always remained platonic. I was really interested in him and I tried to make myself appear receptive to advances but I'm kinda afraid of making the first move. Not only because I'm a girl and have no practice at that lol, but if he wasn't interested I didn't want him to get all freaked out and stop hanging out with me... I dunno! We definitely flirted on occasion. He grabbed my ass one very drunken night and I thought we would finally fuck but then he passed out after one too many sunken battleships at battleshots. lol. All of our mutual friends thought we were shagging or were about to. They were all asking him and I about it. Then we went on a lovely weekend trip to Amsterdam together. I then thought if it's going to happen it'll probably happen here. But nope. lol. The trip started off wonderfully. We had a joint and some drinks before we flew there. Got right to the coffeeshops and got amazingly high. Having such fun. The second day we did a nice wake and bake at a coffeeshop. Chatted with some other tourists. Everything was good. The last day we were there he wanted to do shrooms. This is when things went bad. He just was so quiet the whole day. It was like pulling teeth trying to get a convo going. We were sort of on a brain train, fair enough but he just acted like he didn't want to be around me all day and we were doing what he wanted to do, end of story. After we got back a week and a half ago, we have hung out once. He's just sort of avoided me. I asked him what was up about a week ago and he said "Everything's fine. Your message makes it sound like we're dating..." I'm sort of thinking that's why he's being weird. Thinks I'm in love with him or something maybe. But really I'm not. We're both international students. He won't be on this continent anymore after a couple of months. And I know that. Really what I had in mind was being exclusive fuck buddies until the end of the semester. I mean we spent all of our time together anyways, wouldn't it be nice if we added getting laid to the repertoire? I mean... I'm prettier and younger than he is. He should want this. But I feel like everything would be fine if he just told me why he's practically been ducking behind trees when he sees me... (not really).

    What do you guys think?
     
  2. Maybe he thinks you want something more than a friendship (which you do)....and just because you're prettier and younger than him, doesn't mean he should want to fuck you lol....maybe he just wants someone to chill with, without having sex or any feelings, etc.

    Just tell him straight up you'd like to be FWB, but of not, then you want to go back to how things were before he started acting weird.
     
  3. [quote name='"420ganjababe"']I'm a female, 23. At the end of January 12 one of my best stoner friends got a new flatmate at the start of the new semester. The new flatmate (27) also happened to be a stoner. We got on great. Like from our first conversation we just clicked. I don't mean 'clicked' necessarily in the romantic sense... but let's put it this way, we spent nearly every night together since the day we met. It always remained platonic. I was really interested in him and I tried to make myself appear receptive to advances but I'm kinda afraid of making the first move. Not only because I'm a girl and have no practice at that lol, but if he wasn't interested I didn't want him to get all freaked out and stop hanging out with me... I dunno! We definitely flirted on occasion. He grabbed my ass one very drunken night and I thought we would finally fuck but then he passed out after one too many sunken battleships at battleshots. lol. All of our mutual friends thought we were shagging or were about to. They were all asking him and I about it. Then we went on a lovely weekend trip to Amsterdam together. I then thought if it's going to happen it'll probably happen here. But nope. lol. The trip started off wonderfully. We had a joint and some drinks before we flew there. Got right to the coffeeshops and got amazingly high. Having such fun. The second day we did a nice wake and bake at a coffeeshop. Chatted with some other tourists. Everything was good. The last day we were there he wanted to do shrooms. This is when things went bad. He just was so quiet the whole day. It was like pulling teeth trying to get a convo going. We were sort of on a brain train, fair enough but he just acted like he didn't want to be around me all day and we were doing what he wanted to do, end of story. After we got back a week and a half ago, we have hung out once. He's just sort of avoided me. I asked him what was up about a week ago and he said "Everything's fine. Your message makes it sound like we're dating..." I'm sort of thinking that's why he's being weird. Thinks I'm in love with him or something maybe. But really I'm not. We're both international students. He won't be on this continent anymore after a couple of months. And I know that. Really what I had in mind was being exclusive fuck buddies until the end of the semester. I mean we spent all of our time together anyways, wouldn't it be nice if we added getting laid to the repertoire? I mean... I'm prettier and younger than he is. He should want this. But I feel like everything would be fine if he just told me why he's practically been ducking behind trees when he sees me... (not really).

    What do you guys think?[/quote]

    First off, you sound like a beautiful young women with alot of vibrance and emotion in your life. If you really want to be fuck buddies with this guy you should tell him! Honestly, if this guy is like most others he want to get it in. The "we're not dating" thing was showing that you guys are in the friendzone. Get outta that hell hole and tell him what you want! The worse that could happen is you find out he doesn't want to be fuck buddies but in a relationship with you. Just because hes a guy doesn't mean hes not capable of complex emotions, respect that and who knows a relationship could bloom :)

    I think there already is a relationship between you too actually, its just at the seedling stage and you two have to let it blossom into a flower, accept it or change it girl! Good Luck :p
     
  4. I would def let him know you're dtf, seems like things are falling apart anyway so might as well give it a go.

    If you are attractive and he's a single guy it should be a no brainer. Could he be gay?
     
  5. #5 giraffe, Mar 14, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2012
    Did u sleep in the same bed in amsterdam? Maybe he has a significant other he hasn't told you about and would like to keep things platonic. He probably just wants to be friends, any available guy would have definitely made a move on you by now.

    He senses that you want to get closer to him, but the fact that he hasnt contacted you shows that he doesnt want the same thing.

    If u still want to save your friendship, Next time you see him, act like another dude and keep your distance. Just say something like, "have u been pmsing lately? ..Did that shroom trip turn you into a girl" something to that extent, probably a little less harsh lol. just joke around and make light of the situation.
    Like the others have said, tell him you were hoping for a fwb thing, but dont push it on him. If he doesnt want it, just shrug it off and be thankful you can just have fun and genuinely enjoy his company.
     
  6. #6 SCMC, Mar 14, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2012
    What happens to "older" guys is we stop having such a strong desire to mess about. We hit an age when we realize that we still need to put in a few years of ground work, then get married, then finally pop out some kids. He's looking at his life and thinking that he could meet "THE" girl any day and that he'd better be ready because it isn't like he's getting any younger. I am sure he would love to get laid but it is likely that he is hesitant about starting an intimate relationship because it would only muddy the waters and make it more difficult to find someone to start a family with.

    At least... That's how I see it.

    My advice to you is to be forward and direct. Tell him you think he is cool, you like him as a friend and you know that there probably isn't much of a future between you too, but that a girl has needs and you want him to fix those needs.

    Games don't get girls, boys. Stop playing around and just tell him what is up. Then he can make the right decision. You couldn't imagine just how confusing women are to men when they do this sort of stuff. I know you want to shag him. But does he? See... That's a problem because it should be the other way around. No Games = Honest/Healthy Relationship. It is important for fuck buddies to be totally upfront because if he finds someone he is actually interested in pursuing you want him to be able to tell you when it is over than trying to hide something from the two of you and potentially ruining the relationships with both women.
     
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