So I'm curious about something. Say you've got a steady friend with benefits. Assume you're actually really good friends, you regularly blaze together, talk about all kinds of stuff, really get each other on a personal level, etc. If you're screwing her on a fairly regular basis, would you have to have some level of physical attraction to her? I ask because I'm in such a situation with a dude I honestly wouldn't have really thought found me pretty or sexy (drawing a comparison between myself and his exes). I know how I am, personally; if I don't have a decent level of physical attraction to you, I'm not gonna want to fuck you, no matter how hard up I am. And I don't think he's really all that hard up; he seems to do fairly okay for himself. I guess it shouldn't matter that much, because I'm enjoying it and we have fun together. But for some reason, the idea that he might be screwing me JUST because I'm convenient (or worse, because of the bud) makes me feel a little meh. So I wondered if it was common for anyone else to possibly hook up with a girl regularly who they simply didn't find attractive/think was cute/etc.
you shouldn't compare yourself to his ex's, i'm sure if he didn't enjoy you and your company he'd be spending it with someone else. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
he's definitely attracted to you. it'd be hard to fuck someone you didn't find good looking.Sent from my SGH-I747M using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I guess it'd be OK to have a cum dumpster handy. I don't think I have a physical attraction to my hand, more of an attachment really. But it works just fine.
Hah. I'm overly attached to both my hands. But you raise an interesting point -- if it's a choice for me between masturbating and sleeping with someone I'm not attracted to, I will always choose the former, because then I can fantasize about anything I want, or watch porn, and still get off just as well. Having to deal with all the stuff that goes with another human being in the picture when they just don't physically excite me seems like WAY more trouble than it's worth. Still, while I don't think the sexes are all THAT different, I realize there are simply chemical and evolutionary differences between men and women in how they approach sex. I really don't know why I'm *that* worried about it, but I am. It's a thing.
If you're asking would or do guys do this, then the answer is yes. If you are asking if he is, there is not enough info to answer this. However, he probably isn't. Judging by exes isn't a good gauge. When people are young, inexperienced and insecure they will pick people mostly based on their attractiveness to them. Often ending up with ppl outside of the type they prefer. But as they age they realize a lot of ppl who fit their "type" (ie: hot, curvy, certain style, eyes, haircolor etc...) aren't really what they thought they'd be. Then other more important things become more attractive as you age, like a fun personality or confidence and compatibility. Then they realize they can't always get every trait wrapped in one person, so people may accept the best mix of those. He clearly has chosen you and you seem to be enjoying eachother's company, so enjoy it for that. You may be a woman that changes the mold for him a little. He may just be an asshat, but you should be able to figure out if he's just using you. Good luck.
Think about what is attractive to you. Do you like certain characteristics that might not be what GQ would put on the cover. I certainly do, and think we all do. There may be something you in the way you look or the way you walk or talk that is attractive to him and you may never know what it is.
I also think most people tell themselves: I'm only going to date a guy/girl that is... (fill in with whatever we consider hot and sexy). Then we meet someone outside of that, still attractive, that makes you say ok, I'll give you a chance. Sometimes they turn out to be waay worth it, sometimes you tell yourself never again haha.
Not to be that guy but you could post a picture of your self for some feedback or at least send it to a few people you trust on here for a second opinion. Maybe you just have low self confidence
I feel like by calling yourself a FWB r booty call you should already be aware he's fucking you out of convenience. he's fucking you cause he wants to fuck, but doesn't like you enough to make you his gf. i dont mean that in a shitty way I mean maybe he just knows you two dont mesh enough to date. idk how attracted he is to you but guys I think look at womens bodies in a much more general way than girls, we sit there and pick apart every bit of ourselves. you're probably a lot better looking to guys than you let yourself think
Well, I am that. And I'm not even interested in being a GF; I'm married in an open relationship, so it's a totally moot point. This isn't my hoping that he's going to fall for me in a romantic way. It's probably just my neurotic control-freakiness; I like being on the same page with people. I fuck him because 1. I find him smoking hot, 2. He's sexy in ways beyond the physical, 3. He's fantastic in the sack and 4. I knew him for a long time before we started sleeping together, and while I dig casual sex, I don't like sleeping with strangers, like meeting people at a bar and going home with them that same night. Just doesn't do much for me. I suppose the only way to really know is to ask, but then, I want to keep everything chill. Once you start picking at things and dissecting them, you run the risk of kind of ruining them. (Don't know if that makes sense, but that's how I see it). I don't want to come off needy by being all, "Do you find me attractive?", like I absolutely just NEED that validation -- but it's like I've got this mad need to actually know the truth of everything and have no illusions whatsoever, even when those illusions may be what makes everything so good.
yeah idk what to tell you, I know what you mean when you say you don't just want to straight up ask, you want to have more tact. like you said u think maybe part of the reason he fucks you has to do with the bud try removing it from the equation from the bit and see if hes as enthusiastic? I mean he's probably pretty happy in general just to have a girl to fuck but yeah I have some acquaintances-type friends who I can tell would be eager to hang out w/me even if they didnt want to just cause of weed. theres jus gonna be ppl like that in your life. but you said your in an open marriage, so why not just enjoy the FWB thing, why overthink it? I've never been in that situation but you might as well live it up. look in the mirror and build confidence up and just assume you look good enough any guy would be happy to fuck you. it sounds egotistical but it's all about channeling the mindset, it makes you feel/act a lot sexier which in turn turns guy on more.
If he's fucking u he finds u attractive, I don't think u can get aroused to someone u don't find attractive so that answers that right their Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app
And if your in a open marriage why should it matter? your fucking another guy anyway so that ovb shows they find u attractive Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app