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Guilt and paranoia

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by blazenjosh, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. #1 blazenjosh, Aug 11, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 11, 2008
    i have to come clean to all of you here, to tell you the truth i am not enjoying getting high. Now i dont smoke everyday and i started smoking about an year ago, but here's the problem. whenever i get high i think down on myself, like i have done something really wrong. at the same time i look at my friend who has been smoking for 4 years now, and i think wow wtf have we done? i am a highschool graduate and so is my buddy, he is the one that got me into it. at the begining i was against smoking but when i got high the first time it was not as bad as i thought it would be. my friend is a big pothead smokes reguraly and enjoys himself when he does it, but i dont and i dont understand what everyone like about getting high. i think he doesnt like hanging around with me anymore because of my view, i have explained to him that just 2 or 3 hits get me high, he just laughs. i really want to enjoy getting high but at the same time i have parents who are very paranoid of me and check me out whenever they think im blazed,i grew up as a christian and going to church. i expanded my view and decided that church wasnt for me, but my mom is a very protective person, she has caught me lighters and eye drops so she believes shit goes down. i understand that mothers are supposed to be protective but im 18 and i aslo have a fucking curfew!:mad: maybe all that shit ruining weed for me. im not dissing weed or anything its just that maybe its not for me, but at the same time i want to feel good and do it.:(
  2. Understand that the paranoia is because of your parents and society because if you had nothing to worry about you would be good. That's the problem with society today everything is conflicted and everyone believes they are right. If you can't handle the paranoia then you should surely quit if it will make you feel better. Weed is a great thing but at some points you just gotta stop and get your life in check. In the end it's up to you, just do what feels right and you will regret nothing.
  3. I understand what you're saying. I'm sure a lot of people have felt this way at one point of another, mainly because weed is illegal which in turn could make you think you're doing something wrong, even if you aren't. and because you start thinking more when you're high you're overanalyzing everything.

    But the point is, if you have a negative viewpoint like this you're just going to make it worse by smoking. Until you can appreciate what the herb is you're not going to have a good time. I'm not saying you should stop, but you should just re-evaluate everything and realize weed is from GOD, and laws are from the government. Who do you trust more?
  4. Maybe... Your not really getting high. I don't know how you can not enjoy yourself when you get REALLLLYYYYY HIGH! :p
  5. you said it right there in your last sentence, man.. it just sounds like weed isnt for you.

    instead, you should try crack. :D


    but in all seriousness, if you havent enjoyed weed from the beginning then id have to say its time to stop.. but dude, i got one question..

  6. take a hit from the bong and your forget all about this :wave:
  7. #7 Tuk2, Aug 12, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2008
    IDK man....some people even try it honestly, and it just doesn't "click" with their personalities. Boggles my mind, there isnt a drug on earth ide take over some dank buds.

    In order to enjoy getting high your first few times when youre a noobie...make sure youre in a safe environment so u cant get in trouble this will take away paranoia. You just feel like youre doing something wrong because its illegal and your mom tells you its bad when in reality its harmless aside from the law. In time, if you smoke regularly, you almost forget its illegal, and it just becomes real easy to hide. That is, once you get past the "taboo" feeling of taking part in the activity. :)

    Oh ya, the guilt problem- when you smoke, you become frighteningly transparent to yourself, thats why you feel "guilty" about your life. Alot of times if even feels like other people can see right through you and your thoughts when your baked. Truth is though they cant it just feels like it. Youll learn to control the high in time, and these "negatives" will no longer happen.

    But, if theres nothing you enjoy about it....then dont do it!!
  8. just smoke more.

    thats my simple answer to that, the more i smoked when i was in your situation (which i was) the better it got... i started acting normal when i was high around my parents... it was just like how i acted...

    and the more i smoked alone the more i realized that it just made everything better, try to try everything sensory. jackin it, something really visual and trippy, really good music (sometimes even classical, it'll sound fucking amazing) and realize why a ton of people like it.

    and about you being 18 and even caring? fuck it

    really, if your mom gives you shit just tell her that you're legally an adult and you can choose for yourself and that you're not harming anyone doing it and its your own choice.

    jesus im rambling tonight...

    hoped that helped
  9. #9 Saint Dogg, Aug 12, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2008
    To me it sounds like your environment is putting you in a state of mind that leads to these thoughts... I'd recomend a field trip... Buy a half and spend a week couch surfing your chill friends houses or go camping... just something to get you away from the bad vibes, who knows might come out of it with a new outlook on life. Back during the 60s when my dad first got out of the army he spent 7 months traveling around hitchhiking, camping, staying with friends, and staying in hippie flats. Said it was one of the best things he ever did, course in todays fucked up society you cant hitchhike without running into Tedd Bundys cousin...
  10. i guess you are right,i need a fucking vacation out of home. maybe the reason i get paranoid is because i feel like i am being watched all the time
  11. Bingo. Go to a place where your parents will not follow you and have a good time. Bring some herb, chill out and smoke it up. I am pretty sure that you will not have a bad time and you may enjoy getting high again.

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