So I was watching the Colts game about two hours ago, like I had planned on doing all day. Since my phone is broken I haven't been able to do anything so I've been confined to the house all weekend. That's when everything goes south. Here's what happened: My brother tries to print something, but the paper gets jammed. Mom tries to fix it, but can't, and gets mad. Dad starts yelling at my brother for breaking the printer, even though he didn't cause it to jam. Then he starts yelling at my mom for not being able to fix it. I tell him to calm down, that it wasn't a big deal, and then I fixed the paper jam. He tells me to "shut the fuck up and don't talk back to your father" I'm like, I wasn't talking back to you but whatever, and go back to watching the game. He shuts up for a minute, then gets in my face about how I'm a "useless piece of pothead shit" and that I "need to grow the fuck up, get a job, and get the fuck out of my house." I pick up my laptop and go to my room, and he's following me all the way insulting me. I forgot my glass of water and he gets in my way. I try to walk to the side of him, and he shoves me into the wall. I ignore it, get the water, and go to my room. He's still following me and insulting me, and at this point I'm about to snap. I ask him to leave me alone, and that I have a paper to finish that's due tomorrow. He takes my 5-page, handwritten paper (professor doesn't want typed papers for whatever reason), and rips it to shreds. Thankfully I was keeping a backup copy saved to my computer just in case something did happen to it. He's seemed to calm down now, but I'm still in awe of him. This isn't the first time he's done something like this. It actually happens six or seven times a year, and has for as long as I can remember. My mom would divorce him, but she can't support 3 kids on her own. I didn't think it was possible to explode over the smallest, most insignificant things so frequently, but I guess I was wrong. To add to this, I've been feeling incredibly down lately. I haven't found a job, despite searching harder than I thought possible. I've always had little streaks of depression, since I was about 14, but I haven't been able to find a way to get rid of it for the last five or six months. I can't even smoke to cure this since I don't have money to buy weed with. I'm thinking about seeing a doctor about how I've been feeling, it's been getting pretty bad lately. Thanks for reading... I needed somewhere to vent to, and can't get in contact with any of my friends. Here's to hoping the rest of the week isn't as shitty as today was.
Damn dude, if I were you I'd start lifting some weights, and then next time he snaps, snap back on him, OR you can not lift weights and when he snaps again or starts an argument over something small, try to explain to him (by yelling) that he's arguging over the dumbest thing ever, and ask him questions like why he has to start arguments over small things like paper jams, etc etc. Sucks to be in your position dude, I wish you the best of luck!
You just described my dad to a tee from as long as I remember until I was about 16/17. I understand what it's like to see your dad blow up because some tiny insignificant thing went wrong in his eyes. Anger like that is irrational and your dad obviously needs some help himself. I think that your idea of seeing a doctor is a good one, the longer you ignore and suppress your emotions and shitty memories the harder it is to get better and happier when you do get help. I hope that your dad gets help someday like mine did, but you can't change a person, so in the mean time you need to help yourself. Good luck
Wow man , does your dad drink ? if my father got physical with me I would've just fucking decked him. I do tend to be a little hot headed though - one of the reasons I smoke. To chillout...
Thanks a lot. He's also got a drinking problem which doesn't help at all. As for the lifting weights idea... I could kick his ass any day of the week if I wanted to. I just don't like fighting, or arguing at all.
i feel for you bro. I hop all goes well with the job hunt. You really are on a level above all that bullshit, good for you for not bringing it to violence. Best of luck my friend.
I was in a similar situation previously with my mom when she was getting out of control with alcohol. I just tried to stay out of the house as much as possible. It pushed me to get off my ass and work. I looked at in a sense like "Ok, I can listen to my mom try to break down my bedroom door for the next 6 hours, or go out and get paid to do something." Easy pick. Still have the same work ethic, which is good. If I was home and couldn't find friends to chill with, I'd just go skate. Go fucking skate for hours on hours. Got me trimmed up a bit, and working out is great for your psyche. Shit sucks tho, I feel you. I know exactly what it's like.
sounds like my own old man. my advice would be even getting little kids to do a lemon-aid stand cant hurt to do odd jobs around the neighborhood, and raise as much money was possible.(lawn work, inside moving, anything at all) also talk to your local Neighborhood Asscostion Pres. and see if they will let you put a few ad's in the monthly newletter, which can go to ALOT of people ask your friends and family to tell you if they see any new jobs in town, or if they know someones gonna quit a job, and then you can get there and take their old job go to church. seriously, these people might be one of your bosses, and if they see you at church, they are gonna assume you are a good person, thus will like you more when its time to interview and also go to church cuz God hears prayers also, if you go to catholic mass, those peps are normally loaded with connections to jobs, and money. so even if your not catholic, try getting on the catholic church's newsletter also. and ditto for any church you hit up. dont under-wright your resume. you need to exsagerate some things, and remeber EVERYTHING you can. its important. get in good standing with your teachers at school, and see if they can reconmend you to anyone. also keep in good graces with your school teachers, because you can put them down in your resume, and that has alot of power to it. dont be nervous at interviews overachive. uh thats bout it. but with your dad.....he might be depressed...get him some help, or record (if possible) one of his outbreaks, and give it to a theripist. then show him them, and see if he doesnt go in and cure himself and if your theripist gives you anti-depressents...they fucking work. i have depression and i take my meds and dont have breakdowns. so just saying. overalll i hope this helps some what, and as a last resort with the job thing see if any family members, distant or intermidet, might hire you. ^^^^last resort ^^^^^^^ peace, sorry for long read but i hope it helps
Brooo i know how the job situation is, just keep your head up and a good attitude when applying anywhere.. i used to be in a very similar situation until i finally got hired by a gourmet burger joint, the job itself was hell but the paychecks and tip-out were generous. Eventually i moved back out and now i have my own apartment. Getting back into school this fall as well. Just keep your head up i promise you will find a job if you are truly searching (took me about 2 months, the economy is terrible right now) Good luck Sir!
As satifying as beating the shit out of him would no doubt be, it probably wouldn't help out your relationship in the long run. But damn dude. Your dad's an ass.
That's pretty bad. My dad explodes over petty things similarly to your dad, but not half as bad as that. He's never ripped up anything important. What a rotten thing to do, but there's nothing you can do about it while you're under their roof. Sad fact.
That pretty much sums up my experience with my dad as well, your not alone with having a piece of shit for a father.
As soon as you get a job you should move out, tell your mum to leave that guy and tell him he should try smoking weed sometime as it might calm him the fuck down. Depending how you deal with depression i'd go see someone just to atleast 'let it all out' and get it off your chest. Also, it might be worth asking your dad what age he moved out, and if he wants you to move out and get a job, ripping up your school papers isnt going to fucking help the matter in the future if you leave school with shit grades. If you lived near me i'd smoke you up bro, sounds like your having a rough patch.
ok.... here is my plan of attack with dealing with irrational or aggressive parenting situations.... (have moved out and never really had parents that were in your face like that, but... i feel i did a good job managing my parents feelings towards my MJ smoking and shit) First... you have to be educated... meaning you have to have some common sense reasoning behind your actions.. so the next time your dad calls you a "pothead piece of shit".. ask him if he knows any of the health benefits/ lack of disadvantages to smoking MJ rather than cigs or drinking alcohol, or how MJ doesnt make YOU act like a jackass and rip peoples important shit up Second... you have to command a sense of responsibility and respect in your parents house... if they are paying for you to smoke weed then there IS a fucking problem.. so until you have a job (sorry you cant find one now the economy sucks ass) you dont have too much leverage in your parents eyes, or any older person for that matter (its may not be your fault but having a job represents responsibility and dependence despite whether the job entails those qualities) so, until you find a job and take all the responsibility that your parents expect... your parents arent going to respect you as an adult, thus treating you like your a child...
That really sucks, I'm so sorry for you. maybe somethings getting to him, try to talk to him if you can. tell him you arent a "useless pothead piece of shit" or whatever, you're trying really hard to get a good job, doing your work and not causing trouble. tell him you really dont like the way hes acting, hes your dad and needs to treat you with respect, just likeyou need to to him as well my dad exploded on me this morning. i live just with my sister (she's 17) and she asked me if i could go out for the night so she could have friends round (kicked out of my own home...) being the lovely person i am i went to stay at my parents house my dad had a HUGGGGE fat joint laying on the table. just looking at it makes me feel stoned. he rolls pure, and unbelieveably fat. i was dribbling but anyway, i havent nicked any of my dads weed since i was like 15, so i just walked on... my dad came downstairs just as i was going upstairs and i went to sleep. inthe morning i woke up to, "(my name) WHERE THE FUCK HAS MY JOINT GONE?" and shit, "I CANT TRUST YOU WITH ANYTHING!" i was confused, just woken up too... my mum got really upset so i told her she could look wherever she wanted in the spare room, i dont have it. they looked everywhere, even ON ME, and still couldnt find it. but my dad was still convinced i stole it. i know what its like.... i love my parents though, just weed is my dads baby... so.. haha