Good Ole' Boy Puter Operators!!

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by cowboysaxman, May 29, 2002.

  1. You know you're a Good Ol'Boy computer operator if.....

    Your web page address is

    Most of the e-mail you receive comes from people who want
    to borrow your truck.

    You're right proud of that Jack Daniels mouse pad that
    you keep on your desk.

    When your Mac is running a little slow, you try to fix
    it by squirtin' it real good with some WD-40.

    You can't understand why the spell checker on your word
    processing software doesn't recognize the words "col'beer",
    "hon", and "frog-strangler".

    One thing that bothers you is how hardly anyone who sends
    out e-mail has a handle. you get the itch to start a
    message with the words, "Hey, good buddy, you got your
    ears on?"

    You can't figure out why Microsoft doesn't have its own
    NASCAR team. I mean, if it's good enough for Cheerios,
    Valvoline, and the Cartoon Network, it ought to be good
    enough for Bill Gates, right?

    Instead of "bytes", you think of it as "horsepower".

    You finally decided to buy a computer after the Gun and
    Knife Show went online.

    When they said they were coming out with new Windows,
    you were hoping it would be something you could drive
    up to and order a cheeseburger.

    Instead of a mouse, you tell everybody your computer
    has a possum.

    Your favorite screen saver shows a picture of a bunch
    of guys in overalls and NRA hats skinning a deer.

    When you find out you needed a modem, you went looking
    for one at a garage sale.

    You have been thrown out of several chat rooms for
    cussing and trying to start an online fistfight.

    Your keyboard looks a little different than everyone
    else's. Instead of an apple, your command button has
    an okra on it.

    Congratufreakin'lations - you hold the world record
    for most number of hits - on the World Wrestling
    Federation web page.

    The reason your printer is jammed is that you dropped
    your tobacco chew spit cup into the paper holder.

    Most of the e-mail you send starts with "I'll tell
    you what," "This ain't no bull," or "It's got to
    where you cain't..."

    Some guy asked you about your floppy, so naturally
    you decked him.

    You're pretty sure computers would work better if
    Briggs & Stratton began marketing a model that
    cranks up with a pull rope.

    You think that every child should be linked up to
    the internet for educational purposes. But you with
    there was more information about how to dynamite
    fish or build your own still.

    Your favorite search engine is Yahoo, because you
    run around screaming it during football games and
    wrestling matches anyway.

    The only reason you had your computer equipped with
    a CD-ROM was so you could listen to Merle Haggard.

    You figure computer science will have peaked when
    you can buy a 12-pack of Old Milwaukee online
    without leaving your doublewide.

    You were suspicious of your Intel chip at first
    because you couldn't find the ball joints or any
    place to lubricate it.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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