Probably not for the kids to read. And they don't have to all be dirty...although most of the good ones are! I'll start with the classic limerick everyone's heard. Made up ones are acceptable and encouraged! "There once was man from Nantucket...with a dick so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, while wiping his chin...if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it!"
While not exactly a Limerick it is an original creation and it's close enough to that time of year.. If you think it's to far off theme I'll pull it.. I bring this forward for another year.. Still feels like it needs more fine tuning but I'll let it stand for now.. ===================================== A Growers Christmas Lament ===================================== Twas an hour before 420 and all through the grow Something was amiss but what I didn't know The cuttings were placed in the rock wool with care In hopes that new roots structures soon would be there The clones were all happy having just been fed While visions of smoking them danced in my head With buds in a jar and kief in the cap If I smoke more of this I'll need a long nap When out of my grow there arose such a clatter I staggered from my couch and dumped all my shatter Away to my tent I flew with a flash Ripped open the zipper and spilled drying hash The halide lamps color of new fallen snow Gave the luster of midday for the cannabis below When what to my bleeding red eyes should appear But a miniature web and 8 tiny mites oh dear With a shiver down my spine I moved really quick Thinking to myself I've been a real dick More rapid then fans my treatments they came And I whistled and shouted and called them by name Now Neem, Now Lavender, Now Rosemary and Cinnamon On Spinosad, On Thuricide, On Thyme and Pyrethrum From the top of the light To the last inch of wall Now Kill them Kill them KILL THEM ALL !!! As dry fan leafs before the duct fans they fly A few bong hits like that I'll be high as the sky So off to the kitchen I staggered and slew Ripped open the cupboards and ate all the brownies too And then in a stupor I heard at the door The whine of a bullhorn and dove to the floor As I drew in my head and was turning around Down the chimney my growme came with a bound He was dressed all in tie dye from his head to his foot And his trip down the pipe stack had him covered in soot A kilo of fine weed was clutched in his hand He said it's the cops please hide me good man His eyes stared in terror This must be in error I have my recommendation They'll beat me past resuscitation The stump of the pipe he held tight in his teeth Stunk of something dead like skunk crossed with sheep He pulled out a jar of mixed hash and kief If you help me escape this is yours to keep I opened the door and confronted the cops With my papers in hand this really must stop The look in his eyes and his hand on his gun Convinced my growme and I we should have just run We spoke not a word but stood handcuffed in place Watching in horror as the officer strip searched the space He spoke not a word but went straight to his work When finding the butane he turned with a jerk And laying his finger aside of his nose In front of the judge your going to get hosed Shoved into his car in the deep dead of night I heard him exclaim as we drove out of sight Merry Hempfest to all and to all a Good Night !!!!!!!!!!! BNW