[quote name='"HBGBUB"'] Haha jail is the one place i would not wipe my ass on purpose[/quote] No.. what you do is.. do as much as exercise as possible so you have a real sweaty ass and also don't wipe. Sweaty + Shitty.. don't think anyone wants that kind of ass.
I've been locked up in county in NC 3 times....4 if you count the extradition to another county. It really depends on which county you get locked up in. Like Cumberland county was a breeze in comparison to Lexington. I'm going to give you a quick rundown on a few things. Not that I'm a expert, I've just been there before ya'know. Trying to look out for a homie. In Lexington, if you came in anything besides white underwear, they were confiscated and you had to buy your own or go without. If you were wanting to bring something with you, you best bet is torip open the bands of these underwear (boxers work best), hide it there, and sew it back closed. Very easy to do. I snuck upwards of 15 cigarettes in my boxers through rolling p[apaers and tobacco. Even better than $$$$. I'm not saying do it. I'm just saying, it has it's benefits. Commissary. Be sure you have someone that you expect to keep contact with on the outside to deposit $30 dollars in your account each week before commissary (com) day. And your first com should go to some necessities. get you some extra soap, deodorant, socks, and underwear. Also make sure to grab two plastic cups. One will be for soups to "cook" and the other will be for drinks you can make or accrue. Other than that buy up some stuff that will last you. Foods that get you full if your meal didn't do it for you. Also make note of who's willing to trade what for what. Two sandwiches can go for a pack of M&M's depending on the circumstance. Speaking of commissary, when you get into your pod, find out who runs the "store". This usually consist of a two cellmates who have stacked up enough commissary to last them for weeks on end but instead of feasting, say you don't have any commissary and are desperate for a honey bun and know for a fact you will have com money next week, you can have it but it will cost you a honey bun and a pack of jolly ranchers next week. But this only goes to people with good credit. they don't sell to people they don't know or trust. So don't fuck up with them! NOT EVEN ONCE! If you are not sure you will be getting com money, do not credit yourself out. I'm not saying you'll get jumped or raped or anything like that. But your life will not be pleasant (If you guys want I'll tell you some stories of this but I'm trying to keep this advice as short as possible.) If noone runs a store and you know you'll be there for a while, see if you're cellie is up to it. I've run a store and it can be profitable as hell and you are very well liked and respected on your tier. When you go in, do NOT feign like you are crazy or depressed or suicidal. They will put you in a turtle suit and you will most likely stay in it for the remainder of your stay. You'll be picked on and will not be able to come out for regular periods like everyone else. People sing(rap) and talk at night. Get used to it. Complain if you want but it's best not to. Sometimes it's best to listen because you pick up some good info and tips on the daily happenings. Trade books and just like in Kindergarden SHARE! Get whoever you will be in contact with to get paytel on their phone. The first call to them will be free for a little but after that they either purchase it or you can forget about calls.If you and someone get in close and ya'll talk personal, sometimes you can get them to tell whoever is calling to send your people a message. And don't be that guy that hogs the line. Get in good with some guards. You'll be surprised how well this will enhance your experience there but don't talk to them TOO much Keep the cell clean and yourself cleaner. Keep a strict workout regiment. Get workout partners. They'll keep you motivated. Don't keep your charges a secret.
Commissary recipes Spread- You mix one individual serving of crushed corn chips, one crushed noodle soup, one crushed bag of BBQ potato chips together in a plastic bag - thourghly combine these fine gourmet items then add one to 1 1/2 cups of hot water to the bag, mix throughly, evenly and seal the bag wrapping in a towel or a month old newspaper. Let sit for 15 to 30 minutes unless you're starving. Empty the contents into a paper plate, paper bag, or anything somewhat clean. Cake-2 pks of cookies, 1 tube of peanut butter, and 1 bag of m&ms. You seperate the white and blk cookies scrape out the cream, crush all the white halfs, and tiny bit of water, crush the rest for a crust. Get a plate but down the first layer of dry crumbs mix the cream center with the peanut butter spread over top next the wet cookie mix and crush the m&ms for the top layer. Jailhouse tamales-Take a bag of fritos corn chips, & a bag of spicy hot cheetoes (you can use doritos too, or any spicy chip), crunch them up as much as you can. Mix them together in a chip bag. Add just enough hot water to turn it into a thick mush. Kneed the bag to mix the contents well, drain off any water (if you do it right there shouldnt be any). Roll the mix up in the chip bag in the shape of a tamale, & let it cook (sit). After about 5min, tear the bag open & pour some hot sauce over it & dig in. It comes pretty close to tasting like a tamale.
Jails not so bad i mean as long as its jail not prison. Just keep to your self and dont run your mouth also examine your food,clothes,toiletrys carefully if your not well liked they will nut in your stuff really gross
[quote name='"greedyorphan"']I've been locked up in county in NC 3 times....4 if you count the extradition to another county. It really depends on which county you get locked up in. Like Cumberland county was a breeze in comparison to Lexington. I'm going to give you a quick rundown on a few things. Not that I'm a expert, I've just been there before ya'know. Trying to look out for a homie. In Lexington, if you came in anything besides white underwear, they were confiscated and you had to buy your own or go without. If you were wanting to bring something with you, you best bet is torip open the bands of these underwear (boxers work best), hide it there, and sew it back closed. Very easy to do. I snuck upwards of 15 cigarettes in my boxers through rolling p[apaers and tobacco. Even better than $$$$. I'm not saying do it. I'm just saying, it has it's benefits. Commissary. Be sure you have someone that you expect to keep contact with on the outside to deposit $30 dollars in your account each week before commissary (com) day. And your first com should go to some necessities. get you some extra soap, deodorant, socks, and underwear. Also make sure to grab two plastic cups. One will be for soups to "cook" and the other will be for drinks you can make or accrue. Other than that buy up some stuff that will last you. Foods that get you full if your meal didn't do it for you. Also make note of who's willing to trade what for what. Two sandwiches can go for a pack of M&M's depending on the circumstance. Speaking of commissary, when you get into your pod, find out who runs the "store". This usually consist of a two cellmates who have stacked up enough commissary to last them for weeks on end but instead of feasting, say you don't have any commissary and are desperate for a honey bun and know for a fact you will have com money next week, you can have it but it will cost you a honey bun and a pack of jolly ranchers next week. But this only goes to people with good credit. they don't sell to people they don't know or trust. So don't fuck up with them! NOT EVEN ONCE! If you are not sure you will be getting com money, do not credit yourself out. I'm not saying you'll get jumped or raped or anything like that. But your life will not be pleasant (If you guys want I'll tell you some stories of this but I'm trying to keep this advice as short as possible.) If noone runs a store and you know you'll be there for a while, see if you're cellie is up to it. I've run a store and it can be profitable as hell and you are very well liked and respected on your tier. When you go in, do NOT feign like you are crazy or depressed or suicidal. They will put you in a turtle suit and you will most likely stay in it for the remainder of your stay. You'll be picked on and will not be able to come out for regular periods like everyone else. People sing(rap) and talk at night. Get used to it. Complain if you want but it's best not to. Sometimes it's best to listen because you pick up some good info and tips on the daily happenings. Trade books and just like in Kindergarden SHARE! Get whoever you will be in contact with to get paytel on their phone. The first call to them will be free for a little but after that they either purchase it or you can forget about calls.If you and someone get in close and ya'll talk personal, sometimes you can get them to tell whoever is calling to send your people a message. And don't be that guy that hogs the line. Get in good with some guards. You'll be surprised how well this will enhance your experience there but don't talk to them TOO much Keep the cell clean and yourself cleaner. Keep a strict workout regiment. Get workout partners. They'll keep you motivated. Don't keep your charges a secret.[/quote] Thanks for the info and if you'd like go ahead and tell the other stories you have.
Duct tape. For ducts. Not ducks. I have not much in the way of "ground experience" based advice, as I've never been "locked up" in anything other than a Police cell for one night. Though I would suggest just keeping to yourself, and above all - learning your lesson to not do this kind of dickish act again. Be a responsible driver, you have a duty of care to your passenger. You coming here telling this story and only really expressing how you're worried about your own ass actually brings down the integrity of the community a little I'm ashamed to say. I have nothing against you but as you can likely tell I'm pretty anti-DUI. So take the time to miss the freedoms in life that you take fore granted in your every day life. Feel how much it sucks. Know how much worse it would have been had you hurt someone. Sorry to come down there a bit...I don't know how hard you've taken the situation your self and I don't mean to make you take it any harder. Just think about things while you're in there. In the place - keep to yourself, be compliant with the officers that work there, see if you can get some kitchen work (I just think it would be more interesting than staring at the walls and would count for "good behaviour"), try to get into reading as it's actually a pretty good time killer. Do 50 push-ups and sit-ups per day. Or more. Hm, that's all I could think of.
The advice about commissary is a good one. Take it to heart. You will need food. This is if you're going for a few months. When I went, it was super-cold and we had to buy all underwear, couldn't bring any in. So you need thermal underwear (for when it's cold and for in your cell when you can take off your jumpsuit) and regular underwear. The soap, toothpaste, etc is cheap and where I was they wouldn't give it to you if you had money, so prepare to get body wash, chapstick, deodorant, etc.. We had weird TV's, you had to buy this radio thing with headphones if you wanted to watch TV. Someone might give you one after a few weeks, but if you like TV or radio or if people talking bothers one you could buy a set to start with. I would say start with at least $50 on your books, $100 if you can afford it. The shit is expensive, but it's worth it for a little extra comfort and a full stomach if dinner sucks. Keep in mind they mamy charge a booking fee at the jail you're in, the one I went to took out $30, whether you brought it in in your purse/wallet or someone puts it on your books.