Going through some heavy shit right now...

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by CrassGrass, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. So recently, I told my group of friends and my immediate family that I'm gay. I have known for a good 6 years but never really had the courage to tell anyone until a week ago. Everyone I have told is perfectly okay with it (in fact a few of my friend were happy enough for me to shake my hand).

    Despite this, I can't help but feel alienated from everyone around me. I feel as though whenever I am around someone who knows that I'm gay, I am putting some kind of strain on the atmosphere. I have these really negative feelings, like I shouldn't be around my friends anymore, as though my sexuality is a barrier.

    I know I am being highly irrational about this; my friends and family have all told me that it doesn't make a difference to them who I am. None of my friends have shunned me or anything and we all hang out together just as much as before I came out, but I still can't help but get this sense that I don't belong anywhere.

    I really don't like bitching about this kind of stuff on the internet but I feel really alone right now and I just need to get this all out of my head...
  2. im not gay but it sounds like you need a seperate group of gay friends to be gay with to be happy. no offense

  3. What the fuck does that mean? I'm gay either way whether I'm around other homosexuals or not -___- Besides, I really think that finding a separate group of friends is not a good way to dispel feelings of loneliness.

  4. haha shiet idk then, im trying to help. time heals a lot of things. how do you not know what being gay with gay ppl means? idk about you but when i'm lonely i try getting together with the sex i'm attracted to.

    Nice art btw.
  5. just dont become devious and keep all those feelings in...

    i had a new roommate 2 months ago. looked normal and chill, but was gay.
    creepiest/most disturbed guy i have ever seen.

    didnt leave his room all day and had 2 cats. had xanax prescription but sipped on robitussin all day and thought i broke into his room one day and then tried to fight me.

    then put bleach in my milk because he thought i was planning against him.

    most stressful point of my life and i eventually moved out of there.

  6. I get what you mean, but it's kind of hard when <10% of men are homosexual in the first place :| thanks though.
  7. well, your still a human being. your still the same friend, chill out manna
  8. Don't tar them all with the same brush. You just got a crazy roomie who happened to be gay...

    But yeah, good advice on the first line.

    He was just meaning to have a group of gay friends who you can be comfortable being yourself around, I think...

    He wasn't attacking you, no need to be so defensive; what's wrong with having different groups of friends?
  9. move to Quebec!
  10. Convince more men to be gay.

  11. I think what he meant to say was that since they can't understand what you're going through/what it's like to be gay, it would be helpful to find someone in the same boat as you. Granted that might not be easy, so I would recommend finding gay forums online where you can talk to other guys who know what you're going through.

    Otherwise, just do your best to keep a positive attitude. Coming out is only as dramatic as you want it to be, so if you do your best to stay nonchalant about it you should hopefully start to feel more comfortable in your surroundings. Remember, it's only been two weeks since you told them all you were gay.

    I went through the same thing as you in middle school; knew I was gay, didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I did come out to my sister, mom, and best friend, but it wasn't until high school when I found a gay friend and had someone to confide in; after that, I eased into everything a lot more. Now I do have a separate group of friends who all land somewhere on the LGBT spectrum, and they all make me feel sane when I have no one else to talk to about gay shit.

    Honestly though, you might be surprised; you might be able to confide in some of your straight friends the same way too. Just because they aren't gay doesn't mean you can't talk to them about anything gay-related; if you're they're friend, they'll want you to be open with them. They may not be able to relate, but I know a lot of straight guys who have simply just wanted to see my side of things. Never underestimate how nice and open people are.

    This response was longer than I intended it to be.

  12. Lol it's not a choice.

  13. He was joking, dude.
  14. #14 iRanNaked, Feb 23, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2012
    Try being less gay sometimes. Maybe that'll make the tension looser then your butt hole. no offense of course.

    Disrespect is not tolerated here. Mat369

    And neither is gay marriage.
  15. really enjoying this sample of pothead depth of willingness to genuinely respond to gay subject stimuli, haha.

    must be strange to be gay, though one thing is for sure,
    if i were, i would shine, shine, shine like that light i was,
    right? anyone?

  16. I think he was trying to say that you'll be happy if you find a group of similar people. It's the exact same reason people join clubs in school. It's not about "being gay with people," it's about surrounding your self with like-minded individuals.

    You don't have to alienate yourself from the friends you already have but what's wrong with expanding your circle?
  17. It is what it is. Nothing to be ashamed over. That's who YOU are. That's not who anyone else is. Your just need to keep your head up. And stay you. Don't change for other people.. And don't be untrue to yourself unless it's unhealthy. And being gay is perfectly fine man. Good for you, for being true to yourself.

  18. Thanks for the advice. I don't really have a problem with having another group of friends, but I don't like the idea of having only LGBT people in that group. To me, having a separate group of straight and LGBT friends only reiterates the idea that people with an alternative sexual orientation need to be classified/identified. I really don't have a problem talking to my straight friends about gay stuff and neither do they. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't like being defined by something that I shouldn't be worrying about in the first place, and that just by being identified as a homosexual there is a shift in the way people interact with me.

    I have no problem with expanding my group of friends, I shouldn't expand based on sexual preference though. For me, that's like two straight people hanging out because they have the same fetish. That's not to say I'm not open to hanging out with other LGBT people, I'm just saying that "like-minded[ness]" has nothing to do with sexuality. Just the fact that there is the implication that homosexuals think alike annoys me...
  19. How dare you say that, never assume. Everyone knows when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you, and umption.

  20. I know what you mean bro. My group of LGBT friends does have some straight people in it, but I'm always trying to mix some of my friends together anyway to keep things fresh. I hang out with a lot of different people so I personally don't mind if one group has people who are all really similar. I'll just reiterate trying to be more comfortable with yourself.

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