Girlfriend troubles abound... :(

Hey everyone. I was just talking to one of my friends who goes to the same college as my girlfriend, and he informed me that she doesn't believe that I still smoke (I never told her i quit, even though I know she isn't kosher with it), and wouldn't date anyone that did.

She just doesnt see any need for drug use at all, and while everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions, mine don't coincide with hers.

I'm not sure what I should do. I love this girl, she's great to me, and she makes me happy to be with. She wouldn't stay with me if she knows I still smoke, so I'm not sure what I should do.

Sure, I love getting high and chilling out, but I also love my girl. And I can't figure out if getting high for a few hours is worthit compared to being with her.

Help?

 

Wow, I really feel like I'm going to get shit for this, but I'm quitting.

And it's for more reasons than just the girl. I need to really get back on track in more than one department;

Allow me to explain.

Back in high school (i graduated last year, kinda), I did horrible. HORRIBLE. Not because I'm an idiot or anything, I just didn't like the classes and didn't care. It's now the fall after my senior year and I'm still taking night classes to get my diploma. My graduating GPA is(will be) .64. Yes, POINT sixty-four. As in, less than one. That's how bad I did.

My family was never very wealthy, and as a result, I never got a car, and because of that, a license. I work at a grocery store part time, and that doesn't provide enough money to buy any car that's decent and reliable enough to be worth buying. I'm not talking about a $500 shitbox, I mean a decent car that will last two or three years.

So without a car and a shitty job and a shitty education history behind me, I'm really going nowhere in life and I'm starting to get really pissed about it. And pot, no offence to it or any of you wonderful and helpfull people, doesn't really motivate me allll that much. I'm an EXTREMELY lazy person, and getting high/spending money on it just doesn't help.

I really need to get my ass in gear and make something of myself, or get on the path to it. A checking account, a license, a car, community college, a better job, etcetera.

And Jess, my girlfriend, isn't like anyone I've ever met before. She really, really cares about me, and is very loving. She's helping me alot in getting off my ass and not wasting my life away, so to speak, sitting infront of my computer all day and working a shitty part time shift at a grocery store.

And yeah, she doesn't like drugs, and doesn't see any need for them. That's fine by me, because right now, there's really not much room in my life for them if I want to do all the shit that I need to do.

..wow. Reading that over, it sounds really mean and offensive, and I'm sorrryy! I didn't mean for it to be!

I just need some time away from Mary Jane to clear my head and get my feet on the ground. And if that means keeping my girlfriend who is really helpful, and who I love.

Sure, I may seem like a pussy, and in some way, I even see myself as being one, in a sense. But I feel that regardless of how Jess feels, this is one of the things I need to do to better my life and get my ass in gear.

I'm not going to leave the city, because I love you people, and you all are part of what has to be one of the best communities on the net. Helpful and funny and informative, it's great here. A few nights ago, I started to germinate some seeds, and regardless of whether or not I smoke, I'm still gonna try and give those babies a chance at life, and I'll definatly need help with that one.

So city, I hope that you understand where I'm coming from. I'm not looking for your appoval to quit or anything, just some motivating words to help me along. And I do plan on saying hi to the sweet herb again, definatly. But for now, I think I need some time alone.

Thanks for reading

--Lance