Girlfriend refuses to get physical?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Mofaux, May 19, 2010.

  1. She'll do what she wants when she wants to.

    At least you know you don't intimidate her to the point where she would do something she isn't comfortable with and then could possible regret.

    And you never know there could be some past trauma that you don't know about that results in her actions
     
  2. I think I'm just going to be straight up with her about this. There's really no need to beat around the bush (so to speak), and we're both really honest and forthcoming with each other. I just want to be sure I phrase it correctly and let her know that her feelings and comfort come before anything else. Thanks guys.:)
     
  3. Oh, and this girl is worth an eternity of blueballs (but i'm sincerely hoping it doesn't come to that, hahahaha)
     
  4. I've been in this EXACT same situation a number of years ago, sir.

    We we're our first everything: first kiss, first real girlfriend/boyfriend, and eventually lost our virginities to each other. That was after a year and a half of dating, however.

    Just be patient OP, it seems like she may have some forms of anxiety or minor depression that are preventing her from going through with this final step. I would tell you to make sure she's comfortable while she's with you, but I have a feeling you already make this a big priority. Always make it known that once you two finally do have sex, that nothing will change between you two and your feelings for her will remain the same, except for enhanced.

    Believe me when I say sex will be INCREDIBLE for you two. If you've kept the passion alive for a year and half without sex, imagine what love-making will do for your relationship!

    And that's exactly it. It won't be sex, you two will be making-love.
    :smoke:
     
  5. i think shes definitely waitin for you to pop the question.
    but seriously,
    why dont you just ask her,
    if you havent already.
    n she should be mature and be able to have that convo...
     
  6. Sorry, but that "not now" stuff is usually crap from my experience. I'm very straight forward, but I'm sincere and honest and if my girlfriend couldn't do the same with me, that relationship is't going to last long.

    I like sex, and I think it's very important in a relationship to have good, healthy sex. A lot. I wouldn't marry a girl before I consumated the relationship because I'd hate to find something I regret (not necessarily physical features, but I'd like to know that I CAN have a healthy physical relationship).
     
  7. #47 Makizushi, May 22, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2010
    Looks like it's time to move on, and hopefully stay friends. A relationship that has lasted for over a year needs sex, simply put.
     
  8. Yeah man. Shit. A year and a half without sex? What the fuck man. That's the worst relationship. Sorry, no offence but you need to lay down the law.
     
  9. if she is young like my ex she might be scared (stds, getting pregnant, guy leaving her after getting some etc).


    I only dated my ex for 3 months and it was the same she'd make out with me topless or fully naked on top of me making out and she didn't want to go all the way.


    I had a lot of nights of blue balls lol, it's actually not even funny blue balls hurt a lot so I was getting tortured. not fun.

    I think if a girl doesn't have sex with you she's not really your girlfriend if its been that long more like a friend that is a girl.
     


  10. i just laughed out fucking loud to that.
     
  11. You : "My girlfriend refuses to get physical." Me: Stick it in when she isn't looking. You : "That's rape." Me: Not if you yell "SURPRISE!" You : "No, that's still rape." Me: Well, I'm out of ideas.
     
  12. Well, I asked her if she wanted to have sex and she said she was thinking about waiting 'til marriage. However, that was the first time I asked her. The next time I asked, she said "not yet." I'm starting to think that she's beginning to change her mind about her perspective on all this.

    More background: I'm 21, she's 20. She was just abroad (hehehe, a broad, get it?) in Spain for 4 and a half months, and just got back two weeks ago. She had a great time, and I really think the trip opened her mind about life and made her a bit more confident: she certainly seems it.

    Oh, and to everyone saying to move on or dump her: NO. Notice the period.
     
  13. Damn dog I aplaud you for making it this far! For real! That takes some balls! And yea I'd say just talk to her about it and don't make it weird. I mean c'mon, it's SEX! EVERYONE does it! Why should it be so hard to talk about? Especially after knowing her for a year and a half. I've known my girl for 2 month's, dated her for 1 month, and talk to her and tell her about anything and everything. And she's the same way with me! The more you can talk about comfortably, the more health your relationship will be IMHO.

    I'm rooting for you dog! I hate to say it, but I don't think I could have lasted as long as you have! I mean, has she even gotten you off before???
     
  14. I know I already told you this, but I have lots of respect for you!

    I think she probably will change her mind. Waiting till marriage sounds like a good and reasonable idea when there's no pressure (both from a partner and her own sex drive lol), but since you guys have been going out for a while, she might drop whatever reason she has for waiting (assuming they're non-religious) :)
     
  15. You've never been in a argument in a year and a half? What kinda relationship is that
     
  16. Hey! I've been with my guy for almost three years and we've never had a substantial argument. Any argument we have goes like: I bitch about something stupid, he knows it's stupid so he kinda just apologizes and ignores my bitching, and eventually I realize it's stupid too and apologize for bitching in the first place. :D

    I've noticed that for some couples, fighting is necessary in some ways (for example, some people tend to get bored when everything runs too smoothly) but for some couples, drama-free is the way to be!
     
  17. after a year & a half she owes him more than that,isn't one year the blowjob aniversery...:p

    yep tell her you've decided that until u can finish, that u would rather keep the foreplay on hold ...hugs & kisses only w/clothes on & not in the bedroom

    read & learn from others exp...
     

  18. Thank god somebody here has a conscience :hello:

    Anyway...heres my take on it. Females are not taught to be open about their bodies and their needs and sexual preferences, so she may not be totally tuned into what she wants or needs to feel sexy. Maybe the only way this will really be resolved (if she is the "one" and you want to stick this out) is to talk to her. Tell her that you are attracted to her, want to make her feel awesome, etc, but you can't do that because she is giving you signs that she doesn't want that ("not now," etc). Ask her if she wants to wait until much later to get more physically serious, maybe she has some concerns about her body or protection or something. Try to phrase it so that it seems as appealing and irresistable so that she'd be nuts to slap you away again!

    Good luck :)
     
  19. UPDATE! So, we have both graduated college as of last May and are now living in different states in a long distance relationship. It's definitely hard, but I love her more than anything else in my entire life, so nothing else really matters. We went on a month long roadtrip post-graduation last summer, and I proposed sex to her multiple times on the trip, feeling like it would be the perfect time for us, and in especially romantic settings. After a few difficult conversations I realized it unfortunately wasn't going to happen. This made things hard for me- knowing that after the road trip, I was only going to see her every few months, and when I would, knowing that we WEREN'T going to be having sex. Tough.

    Anyways, I'm taking the train up to see her this upcoming weekend. We rented a condo in the mountains, and it's going to fucking happen. I really can't believe it- I've been sexless for so long it's almost too good to be true. We've now been dating for 3.5 years, and I don't know of ANYONE who has waited that long (unless they were saving it for marriage). Just letting anyone out there who reads this know- having this thread and discussing what I've done with people out there helped me get through that rough patch a few years ago. I came out on top, a stronger man, and finally... finally... my patience is going to be rewarded. FUCK YES!!!!!!!
     
  20. Just make sure you guide her through the BJ. I swear girls being getting teeth all over my johnson
     

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