So, I've been dating this girl for over a year and a half. She's absolutely the love of my life, and I fully intend on marrying her. We're best friends, never been in an argument, and can spend days together. However, there's this problem- she doesn't seem to want to get super physical with me. That's not to say we haven't broken any barriers- we do lots of making out, dry humping, and I feel/kiss the shit out of her titties. But that's it. No assistance to my buddy downstairs, and she won't let me finger or go down on her. I've asked her how she feels about moving forward physically, but she says "not now." I'm wondering, what's stopping her? She knows she can fully trust me, and I can totally trust her. I just want to know what's holding her back. For a little bit of background- she's all very new to this. I was her first kiss, and all the steps we've made in this direction have been her first. I'm not that sexually experienced by any means, but I've done it a few times, and I guess that's why I'm expecting more. She doesn't smoke, and drinks rarely. Thoughts? Comments?
my ex girlfriend was like this also and I was her first boyfriend. exactly what you described........ I think its because they are scared and girls think weird things. like my ex told me she thought that once she had sex guys would leave her or whatever or she had heard from her friends that guys dump girls after they have sex. after my ex dumped me I also heard she wanted to get me tested for stis first before having sex.... its hard to say every girl is probably different so she may have her own reasons. maybe being a virgin is really special to her and she isn't sure if she wants to give it up who knows.
You may think she fully trusts you, and she may have every reason to, but girls can be very sensitive to what a guy thinks of them once the clothes are off and all the bits are exposed. She may be feeling self conscious, and I wouldn't blame her with all the jokes about women stinking or being too hairy etc... she may be worried you'll reject her, not to mention her inexperience may be giving her first time jitters. Not to mention, she could be worried about getting preggers and you skipping out on her, or any multitude of medical reasons. My advice is to take it slow, try and find out what shes worrying for and see if theres any way you can ease the stress (is she on BC? do you have condoms? does she not feel sexy enough?). Reassure her you'd use a condom, offer to shower together so she doesn't worry about how she smells or taste, just try being naked around eachother. The idea is, no pressure. Anyway I'm going out for sushi (haha... yeah.) hopefully it works out.
I feel what your sayin bro. You gotta remember you have needs and those needs are to have your dick in and around her mouth. So you should give her an ultimatum(sp?) and say that unless your willy gets a lil action then relationship done. Thats what I would do at least.
Ever see the show Freaks And Geeks? The particular scenario I'm talking about could be a possibility.
Do you make her feel sexy? You need to understand that every girl is different, and that there's no need to rush, especially if you say you love her. Or maybe she just embarrassed because she thinks you have a small willie?
why would you say that? i wouldnt do that... What i would suggest is trying to find out more as to why she doesnt want to. Just ask. Ask her if she can take it farther with you and explain to her why you love everything about you. I dont really have a lot of experiance in this field as me and my girlfriend fucked before we even started dating. :X All about the timing for girls i suppose. Maybe she afraid of commitment, maybe she was sexually assaulted (hopefully not..) Good luck man and happy smokin, that should help!
So then you'll have to marry her first. Seems pretty straight edge to me and probably scolds you for smoking, am I right?
i cant believe half the responses are "dump that bitch nowszzzzz" are you all 12? women do actually have feelings, all the people who said that are probably the kind of person to dump a girl after they get in it. you fucking disgust me.
I am dead fuckin serious. I have a soul. I just don't fuck around with girls who play those games. I only fuck around with girls who put out.
men have feelings too so whats your point. hes clearly not dumping the girl after he gets it in because shes waiting till marriage...
dude,don't listen to guys who think only of &with their little head.listen to the chicks on this one. take it slow & easy,talk to her about it,tell her your concerned because you intend to marry her ,but you need to know if theres some other problem if she' not just savin'it 4 wedding night.
Do NOT give her an ultimatum. Terrible idea. All you can do is be patient, and don't act like she owes you a handjob or something just because you love each other.