so my girlfriend of almost a year and i have had this problem for a while. before we were dating she was hooking up with this kid for over a year. they were on and off but he never wanted her. when i met her she was unsure if she wanted to be in a relationship with me, but eventually chose me. so 3 months into we are dating she went to a party. this kid who she used to hook up with is part of her close friends at home. he went up to her and basically told her if you werent dating that guy (me) i would hook up with you. she told me she said no i like him and im done with you essentially. so as time goes by i meet the kid. everyone of her friends talks to me, but him. he even made fun of me or something when we were playing volleyball in a pool secretly and my girlfriend heard it and got pissed. then a few months later he comes to visit us with her other girl friends to college. we go out and get drunk. i try and be friendly to him and so we talk. then this new years he comes to a party and like doesnt even talk to me. he clearly doesnt want anything to do with me. everytime my girlfriend hangs out with him it makes me uncomfortable. the guy clearly wants my girlfriend because he knows he cant have her anymore. everytime she mentions shes hanging out with him i get uncomfortable. the problem is he is part of her close group of friends. they still are friends, but he clearly doesnt like me. she is done with him. she could have had him, but chose me. it just makes me super uncomfortable and we fight about it all the time.
You hit it right on the head. They were on and off before...now that can't happen cause you are there and dude resents you because of that. I understand that you fight about it but DO NOT tell your girl to stay away from him! That shows weakness on your part and that will play right into the other guys hand. If you pressure your girl stay away she will want to be around him. Challenge that guy somehow or just go and straight stomp a mudhole in him. He seems conniving as fuck. Show your girl you aren't afraid to fight for what you have. Its simple nature...like some lion in the jungle shit. Roar and mark your territory!
it drives me insane ever fucking time they hang out. and sometimes we fight. i always tell her though that i can never choose who she hangs with. i tell her to go have fun.
Sounds like your gonna have to get over his existence since he's mutual friends with your girlfriends friends. I mean you trust your girlfriend, right? As long as they aren't doing anything then really there's no grounds for you to be so bothered about it. Your getting pretty upset about something that isn't even happening other than these two being in the same place. I mean you said it yourself, she chose you and not him so what's the problem? The only problem I see is you not being able to get over shit that happened in the past that you can't change a damn thing about. Honestly there's no reason that you even need to try and befriend him if he's going to be that jealous friend.
also +rep for this. im not around to fight him. not enough, a least and my girlfrined would hate me if i did. but what i can do is just let her go hang with him and her friends. i told her its cool and will always let her. she replied that hes not even important and the only reason why he is still in her life is because her girlfriends are best friends with him.
Um... did you miss that? "he went up to her and basically told her if you werent dating that guy (me) i would hook up with you. she told me she said no i like him and im done with you essentially." OP you said the word "uncomfortable" 3 times at the end of your post. Think how that emotion is coming off to your girl currently... You are uncomfortable, showing weakness to other dude and he is sittin pretty on the other end cause he knows he has you stressing your girl out. Then all he needs to do is appeal to her like he is there to just be cool and not stress her out. Next thing he got your girls ass in the air son! You are already losing ground to fuck boy but its not to late! Hmu on skype my dude I feel for you
I didn't miss anything, he tried to hit on her/pick her up and she shut him down and told him that was that. I'm assuming essentially was thrown in there because she enjoys hanging out with her friends and he just so happens to be friends with her friends so he's pretty unavoidable.
THIS 100 percent. he's unavoidable. she NEVER hangs out with him alone. shes always with her friends.
It seems all is ok for now then if they aren't hanging out alone. You were still bothered enough to post about it so I look at it like this... 2 options. You can either deal with this with your girl...or him. You can't "control" your girl seeing him. Thats wrong on alot of levels. At the very least though I would call fuck boy out the next time you see him. You have proved by your own statements that he is trying to fuck shit up. Call him out to his face... alone or in front of friends, it doesn't matter. If he backs down then great...if he doesn't and want to get mouthy then you get to kick his ass without your girl getting mad at you. WIN WIN situation.
Pull him to the side and give him a nice quiet chat. You had your chance but it did not work out, do not resent me because we are together and she is happy. If you did care about her like you said you do then let her be happy. I do not understand why you can not be civil with me, this is difficult on both ends. Then light up a joint.