Girlfriend, Marijuana, and Sexual Boredom

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by jizzledfreq, Jun 22, 2013.

  1. #1 jizzledfreq, Jun 22, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2013
    So finally the other day my girlfriend decided to have a hit of weed, because I've been nagging her about it for months now, she took a huge ass hit, coughed for 10 minutes, and looked pretty baked. (It was Trainwreck)
    Well shortly after her hit, she left and ended up on the computer, leaving my lonely ass to smoke the rest of my bowl, then she came back to the room and went to bed. (No sex that night...) I talked to her about her high the other day, and she said she enjoyed it, but didn't like how paranoid it made her feel.
    So the next night I had some hash I made w/ my keif, and she took another big ass hit, coughed forever and looked pretty high, but she ended up just going to bed (no sex that night either...), and the next day same thing, she couldn't sleep well b/c she was too paranoid... She actually ended up getting mad for a second while high, because I was playfully poking at her...
    Before when she got high with me she got all cuddly and intimate, and sexual... Which brings me to my next point...
    I feel sexually bored and frustrated with this girl, I've been with her for almost 3 years now, and our sex life is shit, One, maybe twice a month. I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to make a sexual advance on her because I feel like she is just having sex with me without ever being into it... Foreplay is almost impossible as the second I touch her, her legs clinch tight, she claims it tickles, and I basically have to force a finger into her to get her "mildly wet" and she wont relax and open her legs to make it easier for me, doesn't like when I eat her out (so I can't get her wet that way), will absolutely NOT go down on me (another way to get things wet). When it's time for the "main event" I'm basically forced to shove my dick into a dry ass vagina, and I can never get it in until I blow a load and my jizz provides the needed lube (but of course my dick goes real soft shorty after causing me to fall out or not end up giving her any pleasure...) Then we never cuddle or anything after sex, she gets ups, cleans up the mess, then ends right back up under her covers tucked away from me. Intimacy is pretty much dead too... We never hold hands, never french, she never sits on my lap, I can't hug her b/c she's get's extremely claustrophobic, can't tickle her b/c she get's claustrophobic.
    I mean I'll admit that I suffer from premature ejaculation, and it does help tremendously when I jerk myself off before I have sex, but that's hard to do because I never know when I'm going to get it in...
    Sorry for the long vent blades, but I don't have anybody else that will really listen to how I'm feeling, or give advice b/c most of my friends are single or have never had a girlfriend...

  2. Shit youve been with her for 3 years? should be telling her all this!
  3. Maybe she has post partum? Or is going through some kind of depression? Does.she have a history of depression? Idk what to say to you op, your girl sounds selfish. I've read all of your threads and admire you for your persistence a lot of people would have cheated by now.
  4. I actually have talked to her about sex many times, she has acknowledged her lack of libido, she said she will talk to the doc her next visit about switching birth control (We believe it may have to do with DEPO perhaps? :confused_2:. But even after smoking weed and getting super high she still wasn't in the mood!
    I suggested it to her when I had a couple threads ago, and she freaked the fuck out on me. I don't think she has a history of depression, I know on her dads side there are a few mental issues (schizophrenia), and I'm assuming on her moms side there are some as well.
    I know I really feel like cheating is the only way to get the sex I want and deserve. I could break up just as easily, but then I have to deal with the fall out of not having a place to live, nowhere to go, no food to eat, no money to spend, child support, parental rights...
    But I don't want to cheat on her b/c from the sounds of it, all of her past partners ended up cheating on her (wonder why? :rolleyes:)
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  5. Im sorry bro :/
  6. #6 Serenity, Jun 22, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2013
    Uh, dude it's weed. And clearly you are implying that he has never smoked until just recently. Weed is mostly a downer. An activity like sex is understandably the last thing she wants to do when stoned out of her damn mind. And if all you care about it sex, don't be in a relationship. Break up with her. Go sleep around, find a brothel, something. 
    She's smoked before man, she just ended up getting pregnant, and breastfeeding and was hesitant to get back into it because she "Didn't know how her body/mind would react". I've just been trying to get her back into it so she will learn to relax, and let go of all the little things she has no control over, because she can be a pretty uptight person.
    I don't care just about the sex, it's the lack of it, the lack of intimacy, I want to work on things, but it never seems to make a difference.
    yo foreal? tell me you know what your talking about with regarding to relationships that are healthy and loving without intimacy. because they don't, and youre just throwing low blows. obviously if he's truly only concerned with sinking his d in a moist hole he wouldve already cheated by now...
    op. it seems like the relationship has gone stale; i sense no passion on both ends. or she could be tired of your lame uncoordinated sex? because idk it just sounded ridiculously unsexy reading how you described your 'foreplay'....eesgh. what do you think? do you make her feel secure, comfortable, and sexy? do you still find her attractive (inside and out)? most importantly, does she still find herself attractive? that might be a huge indicator as to why she doesnt want sexy time with you (her own insecurities).
  9. sorry bro
    but you lost me at the sex you deserve
    what kind of sex do you think you deserve with that premature ejaculation
    i mean a girls gotta really love you if she even has the patience for that bullshit
    so don't get cocky here
    you need to EARN sex
    show a girl why of all the millions of men who would willingly fuck her at any given moment, that YOU are anything special
    don't cheat because that's just pointless
    if you're unhappy and your needs aren't being met then you need to get out and move on
    or work through it to get where you need to be
    but it's really immature to just cheat to get what you want
    i mean did you ever seriously consider that maybe she's so frigid because she doesn't enjoy sex with you
    plus the shot can kill your sex drive seriously it's evil
    maybe there's hope if she switches birth control
    was there ever a time you had a good sex life
    idk i wouldn't stay with a girl if there was no intimacy
    or a guy for that matter
    i just need intimacy and sex way too much to have the patience for that
  10. The shot could be it but it any hormonal birth control can lower the libido :(. I think that's why a lot of women like the iud with out hormones but they all have side effects. So that will be an up hill battle op :(. I still kind of think its her mental issues tho. How was she before the baby?
  11. Your bedside manner needs some serious work. If you were trying to get him to see from her perspective, you failed. I read that post as pretty degrading.

    You make a few points yes, but your delivery was horrible.

    Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Grasscity Forum mobile app

  12. you think it's her mental issues that she's shown no symptoms of? lol ok
    i think it has more to do with his fucked up description of foreplay and sex
    seriously if a guy performed like that i'd run away in a heartbeat
    i mean really after reading that, plus his issues with yeah...if my boyfriend fucked like that, i'd want nothing to do with it either
    it's like oh here my lady i'm gunna give you some shitty foreplay in a way that you don't want or enjoy it
    then i'm going to stick my dick in your dry pussy for a few seconds, cum right away, and that's that! but come at me for some more lolololol
    yeah right
    i wouldn't be suprised if she was cheating just to get her needs met
    not the other way around
    and no the shot definitely has a lot more side effects than the pill
    the shot is horrible/worse
    the pill can still suck your sex drive away don't get me wrong
    but like if anything, she should get the hell off the shot
    or hey like idk about this
    but there's actually some girls out there that aren't very sexual
    like they won't suck dick
    they don't wanna be eaten out
    they think sex is a once a month kind of thing
    maybe that's just how his gf is
    I don't know anymore, I feel more like I'm loosing the attraction I had for her only simply because she's so self depreciating. I try to make her feel appreciated and sexy, but she just ends up putting her self down. She get's hit on by guys but is always commenting on how much prettier girls are than her etc. etc. Always picking at her face to pop blackheads that only she notices. It's hard to make a person feel loved and sexy when you can't even hug them, tickle them, french them, etc. etc.
    I kind of feel like it's my lame ass sex... but when I try foreplay, I try to move things slowly, be soft and sensual, rub, squeeze, tease etc. But she literally tenses up and makes it hard for me to finger her, (IE. Squeezing thighs together, laying in strange positions to block the vagina)
    I'm trying to work on it though, if I beat off before we have sex I can last a lot longer, but it's hard to time when exactly we are going to have any sex? She never puts the moves on me, and if rarely put the moved on her because I've been denied too many times, and/or am usually met with a lot of resistance. When I say sex I deserve, I mean it in a way that she never gives me blow jobs, she doesn't like when I go down on her, we only ever have sex in two positions, and that's all on her, I want to mix things up but she's became a prude in the sack. I kind of feel that my Premature Ejaculation is all on her too, because we never have sex! If we had more sex and I blew more loads, I guarantee that I wouldn't blast so fast. Every time we have sex I'm so pent up, and every things all sensitive and shit.
    We had a great relationship before the baby, we would go out and do things together, enjoy each others company, get our freak on here there and everywhere. Now it seems like she's annoyed by everything that I do, most of the time we are in each others company it's in silence.
  14. Hm. that's weird. i thought he came here looking for our perspective, not the other way around.
    i clearly see that it is his perspective that this is her fault.
    i am merely asking him to consider the idea that some girls don't want to fuck a guy that comes early, and can't get her wet
    is that really so horrible?
    sue me
  15. I still don't understand where you get off thinking you deserve blow jobs and this mind blowing sex. Are you some kind of god? Did you save humanity and are you now owed some bomb sex? You don't "deserve" anything but I'll let your poor choice of words fly. I'll pretend you just said the sex you WANT. And in that case. I am really sorry that things aren't working out for you. I mean maybe she's just been too dissatisfied in the past to want to continue doing sexual things with you. Maybe she's changed since having a baby. maybe it's the birth control. maybe you don't have the chemistry you thought. maybe it's not meant to be. have  you tried being romantic? does that help? the birth control is worth a shot at changing. like i'm sorry you got a dud. sounds like she's a dud.
  16. There are gentler approaches. That's what I'm saying.

    Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Grasscity Forum mobile app

  17. Bro, hire a sitter, cook her a nice meal. Light some candles (not a bowl) pop the top on some wine and enjoy the evening. Don't force sex on her just let the night the it's course. You want it how it used to be you have to act how you used to act. Y'all have a baby together and seem too comfortable with each other. Show her you still love her. Every body says actions speak louder than words. Hope all goes well.
    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Grasscity Forum mobile app

  18. Having a connection and intimacy go hand in hand. Instead of focusing on the intimate part,maybe focus on the disconnection that's happening

    In order to solve this problem though, you have to be completely honest and open without creating an accusatory atmosphere.

    It's a lot easier said than done, but it is possible.

    Shoot, the woman and I had a fight a few hours ago and we talked about it afterwards. The trick is to not be defensive. She has to know this too.
    What was fucked about his description of four play and sex? The only fucked up thing in that description is that his girl wont let him go down on her, she doesn't make out with him, she wont even let him finger her and she gets "ticklish" and "claustrophobic". Other then that I don't see anything fucked? He's trying to eat that cat, hes trying to touch her and kiss her, hes trying to finger her but she wont even let that happen. His idea of four play and sex is fine. Its his girl's that's fucked. Did you even read his post?
    He cums quick. So what? Anyone would if they're only getting pussy once or twice a month. Besides I like when guys cum quick sometimes. It lets me know my pussy is tight and I can't be mad at that.
    What other way should he try four play? Because it seems like he's tried everything. Its not his fault if his girl doesn't like four play. And its certainly not his fault that his dick was dry. If she let him eat her she wouldn't be dry. And his dick wouldn't be dry if she'd suck that shit. They've been together 3 years and she wont suck his dick?! That's some bullshit.
    I understand that your a girl and you want to take her side, but come on man. You're sitting here trying to go ham on him for no reason. He's been dealing with this shit for a long ass time, I've been seeing his threads about her for the last couple of years. He could have cheated with some foreign exchange student that wanted the D, but he didn't. He stuck by his girl and that dry ass pussy. He's a good guy.
    Ok, so you can say that if a guy cums quick you'd "run away in a heartbeat".. Where do you get off thinking you deserve some sex god? Is your vagina made out of solid gold? Did you cure cancer and you are now owed some bomb sex from a dude who lasts 2hours?
    You don't deserve to have sex with some guy who can last forever without cumming. Just because you have a vagina doesn't mean you're better then op or that you deserve something he doesn't. Get off your high horse.
    And you're kind of being a bitch for no reason. You keep insulting op and his skills. You replied in a rude manner, yet he still answered you nicely. If I was him I would have told you to go suck a dick. And you still keep insulting him "maybe she's just been too dissatisfied in the past to want to continue doing sexual things". Even if that was the case, which it doesn't seem like, she could just tell him that and they could fix everything.
    He's been trying to talk to her and fix it, but she's not helping. Fuck man. I wasn't trying to go ham on you, but I felt you were being a bitch and I had to say something. Sorry.
    Now op. I told you in a thread before that it was most likely the depo and I stand by that. I got on the shot again a few months ago and it completely killed my sex drive. It made my pussy dry too, which has never been an issue, actually its an overabundance of moisture that's been my problem in the past. But that depo dried me right up. I had no interest in sex (and Im usually horny 24/7), I was depressed and I was just always mad. Its bad stuff. My cousin got the IUD and she likes it. Im opting for the mini pill next time I see a doctor. Op, I felt ugly and fat after having my kid, you could try to make her feel sexy. Because I know that I did not feel sexy after having my kid and gaining weight from the depo.
    Have a serious heart to heart with her op. Tell her you miss the intimacy. Make sure she knows its not just about sex, but that sex is part of the problem.
  20. I like you shestones :). Bravo calling o girl out on her nonsense. Good advice too


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