girlfriend just broke up with me after 4 years

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by swimswimswim, Oct 25, 2013.

  1. It was my first real relationship, shit i guess im stuck in regret knowin it was all my fault, but at the same time glad its over. Shes was sweet, cute, honest, pretty much everything u could ask for in a girl in an ideal sense. truth is our personalities didnt jive 100%. I accepted it. I liked it deep down. but i was the stupid one, one too many mistakes. i honestly wouldnt stay with me if i was in her position.
    at the same, she showed such a deep love for me and i never saw this moment coming. she said she'd never break up with me. last time i saw her nothing was different than usual it seemed. she lived 3 hours away (we lived together in my hometown till i moved to a new town a few months ago to start flyin planes) but distance had nothing to do with why she cut the cord, she was planning on moving in with me in a couple months with complete enthusiasm..
    so today i get a call, she tells me its over. kind of a shock but i guess deep deep down under all the love i know its for the best. but let me tell you, and im sure many of you know the feeling, but it sucks ass. fuck man. i lost my virginity to this woman. i loved her.
    i get back from a flight, checkride and they approve me to solo, bam she calls. no need to explain the deets. its over. i cant focus. everyone can focus but it takes a lot of willpower. i didnt have that willpower at this moment and start wondering how to get booze. yeah yeah bla bla drugs to get over relationships is immature and harmful but any mature mind knows that used responsibly and momentarily they can give you that little numbness u need for the moment. i don't know anyone in this town though (for the record quit smoking marijuana a week ago due to piloting and daily toking ((not flying high)) just dont mix.) I have gotten booze a few times though, just from the same 2 nice homeless men. always leave a nice tip ;). anyway, its getting cold, windy, winters comin... we live up north.. maine.. I drive around for an hour, park at the supermarket... walk around.... tryin to tame my mind but know its impossible until time goes by..... i drive home... i go for a walk... see some kids biking around.. its 10pm and they look young, younger than 21, so i just yell : "yo you know where the ganj is at?!" they cruise right over to me and about 5 seconds i realize how drunk they are.
    The drunkest kid tells me "fuck yeah man, come to my brothers" bla bla whateva whateva, we just ride down the block and i give him my 20 i was saving for booze. It was totally fuckin chill though... i mean i just hand him the 20, 5 minutes later he gives me some dank ass "sour diesel" that his brother grew... hah... totally weighed up too. And his friends ask what the situation is and give me their vodka to pound off of after i tell 'em whats up.. they are just as surprised as me about the scenario.....
    so i smoke em up at my place, they give me some vodka, and bounce. (my favorite anyway. nice. ) Now im here chillen, fuck if they are young i was the same reckless kid that age props to them for being chill with strangers, learnin right.
    Thanks for reading if you did. i really needed to vent this. Or did i? i might sober up and think damn i really didn't need to write that shit on the internet. But who cares? GC has a lot of cool dudes on it.
    peace and love.
    heres one for the road:

  2. That's rough dude.

    Why do you think it's all your fault?
  3. Hey man, I'm always here if you needa talk, and I'm sure most people on here are, this is a great community full of friends, we understand what you're goin through. If you need me, shoot me a PM.
  4. #4 Bamboobam, Oct 25, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2013
    I'm a female (idk if that's important if you want to know that or not) but I drank and smoked to get my mind off the stresses of my relationship. I am sorry for losing your love and I don't see nothing wrong with venting on here. It's life and it takes time for things to get better. Blaze on and relax your mind for a bit. You don't wanna feel like complete shit. Hell, I'm drinking right now and feeling ok even though I was upset earlier.
  5. Been there done that man. It's not a fun place to be but it'll get better especially if you know it was for the better. Having feelings about it is normal let yourself go through the process.
    It's pretty fuckin chill of those kids that would brighten my day alot if that happened.
    Good luck in the future!
  6. Sux bad bro.


    I feel for you
  7. #7 swimswimswim, Oct 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2013
    i lied to her about a few small things. one too many goddamn times. just small fuckin things, involving facebook.. if you want more details i will extrapolate.... even though it will make me sound like a douche bag
  8. Dude, I did the same fucking thing. Ruined a relationship I had going for five years all because I drunk messaged this girl on Facebook and lied about it. Lied about some other shit and then just blew the relationship.

    Still think about Olivia every fucking day. I learned to get past it though. You will too, bro. Don't turn to liquor, just smoke some weed and chill by yourself for a bit. Time to take a break from the girls for a minute and get your mind right.
  9. Pls extrapolate..... 
    and yeah man I feel you bitches mess with your mind man similar things happened to me and I just got really faded for like 3 months and then I was over it. Don't turn to the booze though I get super depressed if I drink and i'm already sad and do stupid shit and get into trouble. 
  10. Sorry man. It's an awful feeling. But chances are, it's not all you. Distance creates opportunities, different avenues in life.. maybe she followed one that led away from you. That's not to say your decisions didn't factor in. But damn man, as respectable as it sounds in theory, you can't take all the blame.
    My PM box is always open if you need to vent, sober or not. You can always expect a reply. :)
  11. please do extrapolate, sir douchebag.
  12. That sucks man totally know what its like, keep your head up
  13. #13 swimswimswim, Oct 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2013
    at one point i was plain horny.. stoned.. and alone.. and messaged a girl on facebook that i met at a concert about sexual shit even though nothing came of it... but girl logged on like a day later and read the whole fuckin thing, on 4/20 while i was sittin right there happy as hell rollin fat blunts.. happened like a 9 months after we starting going out.... next time... fuck too drunk to remember, but im sure there was a second time about some bullshit...... and then we both deleted facebook, and i made a new one after i moved to the new town, just a couple months ago..... added a chick and a dude that i met in class...... later.. in the most stupid way while she was visiting found out about the facebook on my computer.... read the one convo between me and the chick yeah there was some stupid fuckin horny flirting but nothing that serious...., just some dumbass shit.. she got over it though because it wasnt that big of a deal.. i guess it all just added up you know. i mean i got mad at her about some of her social life, yeah i know thats stupid; but i felt she flirted by accident too much..... sad... but she straight up never fucked me over and never straight up lied like i did... i truly know if you feel strongly about a girl and have a relationship with her that there shouldnt be any trust bullshit... i fucked up. she never did me no harm. fuck man.
  14. oh god swim this is saddening to read coming from you
    hope you feel better
    go out and get fucked up for a while. it helps
    time heals alll
    thanks love :)
  16. #16 blunts420days, Oct 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2013
    Well man it sounds like yall had a really serious relationship. and it's likely that she is grieving some as well. This is my advice...You have two options you need to either quit thinking about it. get off your computer, and go meet new girls. As hard as that sounds it will take your mind off it. OR if you want to make things right and get her back... you have to act swiftly she broke up with you so you don't have alot of lee way or time basically she controls the playing field now. Now getting her back is the hard part. One time my girl of two years broke up with me and it was awful. I wrote her like a 3 page hand written letter and gave it to her I basically said I understand i've messed up and all of that and I can't change the way you feel i'm not trying to beg. But I love you and anything worth lovin is worth fighting for ( I think that was the golden line, I don't know though lol) and it worked.. she was silent for like a week before she replied back with a letter of her own, sometimes you just have to put thigns you cant communicate in person on paper. You have to make her understand that you don't need her but you want her, A mistake alot of guys make in a long term relationship is they stop doing the manly things that made her attracted to you in the first place,as messed up as it sounds you have to still play the "Game". You know like when you first meet a girl or early in a relationship you are trying to impress her and all that by being manly and shit you can't stop doing that until you are married and old and grey. So yeah a letter works charms but there are other ways you just gotta be creative but that has worked for me in the past. 
    EDIT: Be the man she fell in love with. Not the one she broke up with.
    you're the man.. might just do this brother.. thanks
  18. hell yeah man remember don't beg be a man about it. that's probably the most important thing once you start begging it's over... 
    you're the man. thanks bro.
  20. Change has to happen maybe you 2 will revisit later in life..

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