Ok blades, my story starts at like yesterday the 31st of may I was at work and my girlfriend was at home. The hockey game was on (Redwings vs Penguins - Game 4) so I text her and ask... You mind if I have a few friends over and then I proceeded to tell her which friends. Shes like not giving me a solid answer it was a "whatever". So then I text her again to "confirm" and shes like I don't care do what you want tonight. So I invite them over and we are chillin smokin out of my buddy's roor, and she looks irritated and she walked out to have a smoke. So I follow her out so we are alone and I ask her if she wanted to hit the roor, she said no, which is weird for one, then im like are you ok, are you irritated I had friends over... she just kept telling me how she was just fine. This morning we wake up, I have to take her to work because her license is suspended, and she never said I love you we I dropped her off and now we are texting and shes like I asked you and you said sure pretty much..lied about being ok last night and now your mad at me that I had friends over... and shes like Im on the verge of just not caring anymore. WTF, am I wrong for thinking I did everything correctly about that situation.. last time I had friends over she got pissed I didn't ask, and she just asked me to ask next time. Well, I did and it didnt change shit.
Well, honestly it could go both ways. Sounds to me like you tried to do the right thing, you asked, let her know what was going to happen and what she shouldv expected. However, it also seems that she was upset a little prior, and proly didnt want people to come over. "Whatever" and " I dont care what you want tonight" arent positive responses. Texting is bad to rely on such things as i have found out the hard way, they dont allow tone or body language which is 2 out of 3 and can easily make or break a communication situation. I will say, you certainly handled it better than most, but sounds like she needs to get something off her chest first.
Sounds to me like shes trying to pick a fight with you through passive-aggressive behaviour and lack of communication (typical fuckin'-with-you female behaviour..)
Any time a girl doesnt give you a straight answer, it means no dude HELL, sometimes even if they do giuve you a straight answer it still means no LOL!
I'm with Anony on this one, but I've got more to say. As a girl, when we don't give you a straight answer it probably means we're not up for it (or we're trying to say yes because we realize we should say yes, but we don't really want to... if that makes sense, i can explain if you need me to). She could be pmsing (don't care what you think, pms is real and it DOES fuck with you no matter how hard you try to be normal, sometimes you can't tell its fucking with you till your boss comes up and says he might not be able to give you your boyfriends birthday off and you start bawling.) or had something bad happened to her at work or a bad day, but was trying not to be a bitch. I don't think she was doing that on purpose quite honestly, if anything she probably needs you tonight, she might have something she needs to talk about cause even from the text messages you can tell theres something on her mind. Common misconception from men... a fair ammount of men are under the impression that women are out to get them and know they're being bitches and such... this isn't always true, in most cases its just because we're women and we get caught up in emotions more than men. Much of it I think can be blamed on our menstral cycle, cause just as hormones affect men... hormones affect women too. You did everything right for your situation, don't take her actions personally. Sometimes we just get in those moods that noone can fix... like when you men sort of detach and sulk all night when you've had a bad day or something an no ammount of nurturing and talking on the woman's part will help you, its the same as her. My advice is to maybe make sure that she can come home to no worries. Maybe order some pizza or make a simple dinner for her or something (hell even get togo, I don't think it matters really) if she likes cleanliness or something, then tidy up the house a little, theres nothing worse than coming home all grumpy and feeling like you have even MORE work to do at home. Now I"m not saying you gotta rub her feet or kiss her ass or walk on eggshells, I'm just saying that coming home to you with things already in order and perhaps a nice bowl waiting for her would make her a bit more relaxed and you could approach the subject again. Don't be defensive automatically, just let her know what you let us know, that you thought it was all good and she was really okay with it and wasn't sure what was bothering her. If she wants to talk about it she probably will, but you should probably just let her talk, don't try and fix her problem (a mistake... big mistake, don't offer solutions unless she asks for them), she probably wants some attention and sympathy. I realize that some people (like my little brother) think this is NOT the way to go cause its spoiling a girl and bending to her hormones.... this can be true, but at least in MY case its not, sometimes we just want time with our man to vent and cry and clear our emotional plate, and if something obstructs that (him asking for friends to come over) we don't want to ruin your fun and bring you down on our emotional level, so we answer indirectly in hopes that you might abandon the idea without it being "the bitchy girlfriend's" fault.... get what I mean? Of course, I'm not saying this IS the problem, but it could be, if anything I'd just set aside time for her tonight and get her a bowl ready to hit and just chill, let her talk and try and iron out the problem. I could go on and on and on, but I don't want to sound preachy, so if you got questions or something then you can ask, hope it all helps some.
IMHO the answer is really pretty simple, learn to read your partner and respond accordingly. Just from your description of the situation if I were you, I would've either asked a friend to tape the game and spent the evening with the my woman, or watched the game elsewhere. Communication, communication, communication... If you have to guess about what's going on with someone you aren't using enough words with each other. Stay green.
truth - this man is wise don't fall for the trap, let it just roll off your shoulder and it'll take all her power away - just like when a bully makes fun of you at school and you laugh WITH him, it takes all the power out of what he's doing if she's not talking and acting mad at you and you start saying "what's wrong" and "what did i do" - subconsciously she's like "fuck yea, i have him by the balls" typical female bullshit - i had to learn this the hard way
Ok this was very insightful, im going to try and see how this goes... and do the dishes >.> I'll keep you guys posted on what happens after I get off work.
you did the right thing and she's still mad at you? you don't need to do chores or any of that stuff man.. i've been that guy, it's no fun at all.
I"m not saying it like that. I'm saying that creating an environment where she can chill out for a second and to get rid of possible "ammo" would be ideal. Would you rather her pull up the fact that the laundry isn't done and the dishes are piled high and she always has to cook as more reasons for her to be upset? I would rather get down to the real reason, if she gets to talking and sees more things to be upset about, she might try and tack it onto him, I"m helping him avoid that. But if you want to call it kissing ass then go ahead.
you dont invite chicks to watch '' HOCKEY '' when it's just going to be you and your buddies,,,, you broke man-law #7-----> never bring negative female vibes into a mans sport gathering situation........ the punishment for this,,, can be so small as to a slap on the hand... or as high as castraction with rubber bands,,, i shall converge with the male law board,,,,,,, to see how severe of a fuck-up youve done,,,,, dont leave your town,,,and no driving,and be in by dark,,,, dont make the man-law death squad come find you,,,,
Get this.. girls don't alway say what they are thinking Sometimes you just have to pay more attention. Clearly it wasn't ok that you brought your friends over.. She was trying to hint that you shouldn't when you had to ask twice. Girls like for you to know things rather than them have to straight up tell the reason (idk why, it'd be much easier to just say it. Guys aren't mind readers.) But from what I can tell from this story.. it seems like she was wanting to have some time with you or something.. maybe she had something planned out in her head.. or maybe she just wanted to relax alone with you and smoke together.. then when you asked for your friends to come over.. rather than telling you these things.. she gets upset.. then gets upset that you had them come over.. Who knows what her deal is though.. could be a whole lot of things. But you said she was acting ok BEFORE you asked for your friends to come over? If she had been acting fine then I'd lean more towards she wasn't wanting your friends to come over and she had wanted to do something with you. Now shes just to stubborn to tell you the reason, and shes going to be upset for awhile until she gets over it, or you make it up to her. Bottom line, girls can be jealous of your friends. But you didn't do anything wrong, she needs to speak up.
i did a quick search online for a page that could quickly convey the idea i'm talking about, and here it is http://www.doubleyourdating.com/m/dating/Why_Nice_Guys_Fail_With_Women.asp
wow i was there...... ... and that was my roor!! anywhomm, ive seen alot of good responses here. Communication is the key and seems to me that all girls commit to this childish behavior. Whatever you do communicate with her. Dont let her control you completely either. But yes communicate so you two can agree on things and make each other happy. Ok i gotta go get high. peace