Wassup, blades. Been dating my girl for nearly a year and a half now. Every year me and a group of people (anywhere between 6-12) go camping for a week. And by camping, I mean setting up a tent and daydrinking, blazing, and going to the beach all day every day at a party campground.. some of the best times of my life. Anyway, my girlfriend's birthday is a little after our camping trip. She doesn't have any money this year (but she came with us last and loved it), so I suggested that I would just pay for her to come with us as her birthday gift this year. Her response? "No thanks, I want something else. Like a bracelet or necklace." Maybe I'm reading too much into it; but would most girls not rather pick a week of partying & social fun with her boyfriend & friends over a piece of jewelry? She enjoyed herself last year and overall enjoys camping (even our style), so that's not the issue. Any insight is much appreciated.
Maybe she doesn't like camping? Just get her a necklace or something she'll always have and be able to wear. If somebody tried to bring me on a trip I didn't want to go on as a birthday gift I wouldn't be happy either lol. Just go hang out with your friends, she doesn't want to waste her money going so just have some alone time with her on her birthday. You should apologize for offering to pay for the trip as a birthday gift, what if you told her you didn't have money to go to a salon (or some place you obviously didn't want to go) with her and she said "it's cool, we'll count it as your birthday gift!". Just talk to her, and buy your girl some jewelry.
I wouldn't read into it too much. I am a really chill down to earth girl, but at the same time, I'd love jewelry or something sweet like that. Are you totally sure she couldn't afford the trip herself, also? Because perhaps she already figured out a way to still go on the trip and she wanted something that she could keep with her and remember. or maybe dat hoe just wants your money what do i know
Well, it shows where her priorities lie. Quality time with boyfriend, or a piece of jewelry? Good luck with that one. You reap what you sow, man. I agree, it's materialistic and personally, not the kind of person I'd be investing my time or efforts into.
Yeah it's materialistic, but offering to take a girl camping is kind of a cop out to a birthday party gift. I know you and your homies do this trip every year, but do something nice for your girl.
She might be materialistic, try offering her a date out and dinner. Maybe she just doesn't want to spend her birthday with some other people. Have you ever seen her be materialistic in the past? This is not something you would just stumble on, if she is she has been like that since you met her....
I think it's nice to get a gift from someone that is well thought out and genuine. I have a girlfriend who used to tell her boyfriend, "X, buy me this." "X, Send me flowers." --- Kind of defeats the purpose. Dude, if you are demanding it, it takes away everything but the obligation. If I had an opportunity to spend a few glorious days camping, chillin', smoking, drinking with my man (if I had one), there's no way I would turn it down. If she doesn't want to go on the trip, that's one thing, but don't let her think that means she deserves the necklace. And tell her bitch ass to get a job and buy her own damn jewelry if she wants it bad enough,.
Weeellll. Mixed answers in here too! To clarify on a couple of things; -She loves camping. She'll be going with some family since she doesn't want to go with us. -She loves partying; aka drinking, smoking, social stuff. -I didn't say "this is what you're getting for your birthday." I simply said "Hey babe, how about for your birthday I pay for you to come camping? I know you don't have money and really loved it last year!" to which she said "No thanks, I'd rather a necklace or bracelet" (or something along those lines) Edit: She wasn't really demanding jewelry, it was more in a tone that was a suggestion to her gift, and that she wasn't interesting in camping. I dunno, it kind of bums me out she'd rather a gift than an experience. I really enjoyed her company last time.
Well, OP. Is this her first instance of seeming materialistic in your one and a half years of being with her? Personally, I would love if my man took me on a camping trip to booze and blaze all weekend! Drunk funky forest sex...! ;P But if it were my BIRTHDAY I would maybe want for him and I to spend one on one quality time, rather than hanging out with all of my boyfriend's friends. Maybe she wants you to pay attention to her. Maybe saying that she wants "jewelry" is just her passive-aggressive way of declining the trip because she's upset that you'd group her birthday into an outing with your friends. Definitely would make me feel less special. Maybe you could convince her to go on the camping trip if you let her know how much you want her to be there, etc. What are both of your astrological signs? ;P
No, which is certainly a good sign. I'd do both, but I'd be looking at an extra $250-$300 to take her camping which is a loooot for a broke-ass college student.
I don't do signs, so I have no idea! The trip is a week before her birthday, I would obviously spend the actual day just us and take her for dinner, etc. She has somewhat been materialistic; dropping hints like "Oh, you never take me for dinner or buy me things" etc, yet I take her out at least once every few weeks & often do free fun dates as well (beach, picnics, etc). Main reason for this is her lack of money; aka I get to buy everything and get nothing in return.
Well, I think it's a bad sign that her broke ass has fiscal expectations of yours. My motto in relationships is never to give more than you get or to take more than you can give. Whether it be emotional or physical or material. There has to be balance. If you're giving and she's taking but you're not getting anything in return, you're going to be sucked dry eventually. Seems a little selfish, to me. It's too bad to that she's so focused on inconsequential shit. Why doesn't she have money?? Does she not work??
When are both your birthdays? I'm an astrology geek, haha. Maybe she has a sign that is more materialistic/demanding than others. Hmmm, if she is always expecting you to buy everything and you get nothing in return, that is a no-no. There should be a healthy balance, I think. Some girls just have really high expectations and don't realize that boys don't think the same way.