Girlfriend Has Herpes, Has She Cheated?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Tuck420, Apr 23, 2014.

  1. #1 Tuck420, Apr 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2014
    Hi guys,
     
    My girlfriend went to the clinic today and was found positive for herpes, she has a general test about 3 months ago and was negative. I really do love her and she keeps telling me that she loves me, I rang her after the clinic in work and said "are you okay?" and she replied "No I have herpes, I promise to you on my baby sisters life I haven't touched anyone" (she is 1, and she only says this when she is deadly serious) and broke down really bad. I do believe her.. in a way, but I can't get the thought of her touching someone else out of my head it would drive me insane! She told me when we got together "I'm going to be honest, I thought I was going to cheat in a relationship, but now I know what love is, I could NEVER do it, not to you, or anyone, I really do love you" We have been together for 4 months but I have known her for over a year and a half, she is my dream girl and I really don't want to f*ck shit unless I know facts. She's very "protective" over me, in the way that she doesn't like me talking to other girls and she gets very touchy if I do. I could never cheat on her, ever and she says the same.. Myself and everyone she knows believes that she is a very honest person and she is. Stoners, please put your bongs down and help me out?
     
    Thank you all very much.
     
    Edit: Also, her mother suffers with herpes, it is recurring for her so could there be a chance her mother gave it to her? Also I asked her when was the last time she had sex before me and she said it was definitely over a year ago.

     
  2. #2 TheAnswer121, Apr 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2014
    ummmm. there's probably a fairly good chance she did cheat?
     
     
    1. does she have simplex a or b?
    1. do you get cold sores? (could have easily transferred it to her during coitus)
     
    herpes simplex b is just the occasional cold sore occurrence
     
     
    a, not so much. that's the bad one
     
  3. You should get tested too.
     
  4. I am not to sure yet, she just has small blisters around the vaginal area, could she have caught it from her mother if she has recurring herpes? Or is this unlikely? 
     
  5. #5 p42082, Apr 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2014
    It dont mean she has cheated, you need to do some research.
     
    I cant say much other than im 95% sure you can get herpes other ways.
     
  6. Yes I will get tested, that is what they told her at the clinic today.
     
  7. quite likely if they share feminine items, but that'd be kinda gross :confused_2:
     
    it is passed thru physical contact (and blood) of course. she would have had to of had direct contact with an outbreak
     
  8. She does not live with her mother so sharing items is rare but she does share now and again such as nail varnish, brushes etc
     
  9. Sharing eating utensils with someone on an outbreak could get you oral herpes, but I don't see how she could get genital herpes from using her mom's nail polish or hairbrush.
     
  10. \thttp://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm\t \tGenital Herpes - CDC Fact Sheet\tHerpes is a common sexually transmitted disease (STD) that any sexually active person can get. Most people with the virus don't have symptoms. It is important to know that even without signs of the disease, it can still spread to sexual partners.

    Basic Fact Sheet | Detailed Version
     
    Basic fact sheets are presented in plain language for individuals with general questions about sexually transmitted diseases.

    [​IMG]\tWhat is genital herpes?Genital herpes is an STD caused by two types of viruses. The viruses are called herpes simplex type 1 and herpes simplex type 2.
    \tHow common is genital herpes?Genital herpes is common in the United States. In the United States, about one out of every six people aged 14 to 49 years have genital herpes.
    \tHow is genital herpes spread?You can get herpes by having oral, vaginal, or anal sex with someone who has the disease.
    Fluids found in a herpes sore carry the virus, and contact with those fluids can cause infection. You can also get herpes from an infected sex partner who does not have a visible sore or who may not know he or she is infected because the virus can be released through your skin and spread the infection to your sex partner(s).
    \tHow can I avoid getting herpes?You can protect yourself from getting herpes by:
    • Not having sex;
    • Being in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and has negative STD test results;
    • Using latex condoms and dental dams the right way every time you have sex.
    Herpes symptoms can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered by a latex condom. However, outbreaks can also occur in areas that are not covered by a condom so condoms may not fully protect you from getting herpes.
    \tI'm pregnant. How could genital herpes affect my baby?If you are pregnant and have genital herpes, it is even more important for you to go to prenatal care visits. You need to tell your doctor if you have ever had symptoms of, been exposed to, or been diagnosed with genital herpes. Sometimes genital herpes infection can lead to miscarriage. It can also make it more likely for you to deliver your baby too early. Herpes infection can be passed from you to your unborn child and cause a potentially deadly infection (neonatal herpes). It is important that you avoid getting herpes during pregnancy.
    If you are pregnant and have genital herpes, you may be offered herpes medicine towards the end of your pregnancy to reduce the risk of having any symptoms and passing the disease to your baby. At the time of delivery your doctor should carefully examine you for symptoms. If you have herpes symptoms at delivery, a ‘C-section' is usually performed.
    \tHow do I know if I have genital herpes?Most people who have herpes have no, or very mild symptoms. You may not notice mild symptoms or you may mistake them for another skin condition, such as a pimple or ingrown hair.  Because of this, most people who have herpes do not know it.
    Genital herpes sores usually appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals, rectum or mouth. The blisters break and leave painful sores that may take weeks to heal. These symptoms are sometimes called “having an outbreak.” The first time someone has an outbreak they may also have flu-like symptoms such as fever, body aches, or swollen glands.
    Repeat outbreaks of genital herpes are common, especially during the first year after infection. Repeat outbreaks are usually shorter and less severe than the first outbreak. Although the infection can stay in the body for the rest of your life, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years.
    You should be examined by your doctor if you notice any of these symptoms or if your partner has an STD or symptoms of an STD, such as an unusual sore, a smelly discharge, burning when urinating, or, for women specifically, bleeding between periods.
    \tHow will my doctor know if I have herpes?Often times, your healthcare provider can diagnose genital herpes by simply looking at your symptoms. Providers can also take a sample from the sore(s) and test it. Have an honest and open talk with your health care provider and ask whether you should be tested for herpes or other STDs.
    \tCan herpes be cured?There is no cure for herpes. However, there are medicines that can prevent or shorten outbreaks. One of these herpes medicines can be taken daily, and makes it less likely that you will pass the infection on to your sex partner(s).
    \tWhat happens if I don't get treated?Genital herpes can cause painful genital sores and can be severe in people with suppressed immune systems. If you touch your sores or the fluids from the sores, you may transfer herpes to another part of your body, such as your eyes. Do not touch the sores or fluids to avoid spreading herpes to another part of your body. If you touch the sores or fluids, immediately wash your hands thoroughly to help avoid spreading your infection.
    Some people who get genital herpes have concerns about how it will impact their overall health, sex life, and relationships. It is best for you to talk to a health care provider about those concerns, but it also is important to recognize that while herpes is not curable, it can be managed. Since a genital herpes diagnosis may affect how you will feel about current or future sexual relationships, it is important to understand how to talk to sexual partners about STDs. You can find one resource here: GYT Campaign.[​IMG]
    If you are pregnant, there can be problems for you and your unborn child. See “I'm pregnant. How could genital herpes affect my baby?” above for information about this.
    \tCan I still have sex if I have herpes?If you have herpes, you should tell your sex partner(s) and let him or her know that you do and the risk involved. Using condoms may help lower this risk but it will not get rid of the risk completely. Not having sores or other symptoms of herpes can also lower the risk, but again not completely. Even if you do not have any symptoms, you can still infect your sex partners.
    \tWhat is the link between genital herpes and HIV?Genital herpes can cause sores or breaks in the skin or lining of the mouth, vagina, and rectum. The genital sores caused by herpes can bleed easily. When the sores come into contact with the mouth, vagina, or rectum during sex, they increase the risk of giving or getting HIV if you or your partner has HIV.

    [​IMG]All STD Fact Sheets
    \tWhere can I get more information?Division of STD Prevention (DSTDP)
    Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
    Personal health inquiries and information about STDs:
    CDC-INFO Contact Center
    1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636)
    TTY: (888) 232-6348
    Contact CDC-INFO
    Resources:
    CDC National Prevention Information Network[​IMG] (NPIN)
    P.O. Box 6003
    Rockville, MD 20849-6003
    E-mail: info@cdcnpin.org
    American Sexual Health Association[​IMG] (ASHA)
    P. O. Box 13827
    Research Triangle Park, NC 27709-3827
    1-800-783-9877

     
  11. Well she may not have cheated (herpes can take awhile to be diagnosed) but she may have done some "slumming" just before you got together with her. Talk to her about her past to get some clarification and think long and hard about your relationship.

    Herpes NEVER goes away and if you stay with her you WILL eventually get it (if you haven't got it already).

    That would be a deal breaker for me but to each his own.


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  12. This is about as tough as it gets if you really love someone. 
     
  13. We don't love them hoes.
     
  14. The thing is, is that it is *possible* that she may have gotten it before she was with OP and just never had an outbreak. I guess I'm just trying to be positive for OP.
     
    I've been married for quite a long time - 20-something years, and I'm glad.
     
  15. can you really stay with a girl who has herpes and that may have cheated on you? It never goes away, you're gonna catch it sooner or later. Just end it now man.


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  16. She might have gotten it from him.

    People can have herpes and not know it, and not have symptoms.

    OP should get tested and figure out what to do from there.
     
  17. #17 Sorrow, Apr 23, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2020
    Deleted
     
  18. Maybe she got it from you?
     
  19. They way I see it, she either got it from you or cheated. & if you don't have it yet, you're going to get it if you stay with her...
     
  20. I feel terrible seeing all these people saying break up with her... I got herpes after I lost my virginity. One guy one permanent std. My next boyfriend I told and he has stayed with me. 5 years after being diagnosed never had an outbreak 2 years after being with my boyfriend he probably has it, doesn't care, never had a symptom. Its almost as if its not even there.
     

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