Safeeeeee, Well basically my girlfriend of 2years was talking about moving in together next year into our own place, i'm down for this and cant wait to have my own place but she's a bit weird when i get high and stuff for example were going to a party on friday and she's invited to and im taking a bag aswell as beers and she was like 'you taking weed' and i was like 'yeah' and she's all like omg you'll smell and all this she accepts the fact i smoke it and she cant change that but still isn't happy and dosen't like me doing it which i also understand. However, when we move in i'll probs be paying more or at least half of the payments for the living etc as i earn more. and with it being my own place i'll finally be able to sit in front of MY tv on MY couch and blaze MY weed in the confort of MY own home, and i've wanted to do this for years, the thing is i can see her not wanting this or moaning about it.. any advice blades?
be respectful to her if its both of your place. step outside and smoke or talk to her make sure its not going to upset her by smoking inside
Yeah I'm gonna say thats about the best advice you're gonna get there buddy.You two will have to sit down and hash out these rules before signing that lease or I can foresee things getting real uneasy around your new spot.
i hate to be the one that says it, but it doesn't sound like she is respectful of you smoking. it took a while for my husband to adjust to it and he even pays for it right now because I use it medicinally for glaucoma. he doesn't say anything about it when i smoke and we pretty much act normal. sometimes he makes jokes when i'm really high but he's laughing with me. he can't smoke because he's in the navy. living with someone that doesn't smoke has to be kind of symbiotic. you both kind of have to get the idea in your head that it is totally normal and eventually, it will work out. maybe you could try to take her to a NORML event or something like that. maybe she still has a stigma about it but is to embarrassed to tell you. has she ever tried it herself?
Nope, she's never touched it, or smoke cigs either, i understand what people are saying but after working all day a sit on the couch with a nice joint is what i've always wanted, she dosent smoke ciggrettes because of her father who drinks all day every day and smokes 40a day, i dont smoke tobbaco but do mix occasionally as it saves weed and she didnt want to end up like him..
Yeah you only get this one life, so you have to either lay down the law and tell her once or twice a week you want to smoke in the house after work. This way it's not everyday, but once or twice a week for you. If she really can't handle the smell, then be respectful and smoke outside then come back in. It takes 30 seconds more effort to make her feel feel more comfortable. The smell would lingure in the room for hours. She sounds pretty reasonable, she doesn't like weed a lot it seems but she is tolerant of you smoking it and bringing it. Next time if she says "you'll smell like it blahblah" just buy one of those cases that holds weed air-tight so there's no smell. She doesn't mind you smoking, she just doesn't want it to affect her (and smell counts). If you really want to smoke in your house then you need to make sure she's okay with it , if not just dump her and choose the weed. If she is more important than coming home and blazing in front of your TV, then take the extra 30 seconds and step outside. Jesus man.
My boy was in this position as well. I'll tell you the same thing I told him, don't move in with her! If shes gunna give you grief about smoking up and you want your relationship to last then you're gunna have to pick one or the other. You move in you'll probably break up.. not to be negative but realistic. I hope you find a different solution to your problem but I couldn't see it working. Goodluck man!
If she's not straight up cool with it, might be problematic. I've had many a girl tell me I smoke too much, blah blah blah. Especially if she is that type of girl that will end up being like "wtf you druggie all you do is smoke and not hang out with me, or don't do this this this.' you get the point lol. Come to think about it, my gf I lived with for like 3 years was probably cooler with me growing than being high all the time lol
My ex didnt smoke and we lived together 6 yrs and she was cool with it...weed will be the least of your problems
Leases are legally binding...if you're even a little bit concerned about the fate of your relationship, make sure you really consider that before both putting your names on that piece of paper.
This poor communication methodology is the breakdown of so many relationships. The fact that they would call drug use excessive is their way of expressing care for your health and overall well-being, but instead in the mind this is misconstrued with anger associated with the fear of the drug use. Then it turns into anger, so instead of looking weak and vulnerable it becomes argumentative, that is to say that the concern they have for your health is the root cause of the anger. That is why when people approach you with any attitude relating to this situation (smoking, drinking, being with friends more than her, whatever), it is best to start out with a question. By asking them questions about what is really making them angry, it requires them to ask themselves the same questions to find the answers. Once you get past the yelling match you realize you both generally have the same agenda: To live life happily, and hopefully with each other. It seems manipulative, but its helped me smooth over fights and help relationships so many times. This is just some random life advice i thought of.
Do you think you'll marry this chick? It's usually absolutely pointless to move in with a bf/gf if its not for the long term. The break up can be soooo much worse. Like others have said, knock out all the details, share all concerns before taking the plunge. Good Luck!!
^^So much this. If you are even a bit unsure (which it seems like you are, because you're asking about it here), then cool your jets and really take your time before getting yourself into such a big commitment. You're worried about whether you'll be able to smoke inside without her complaining, right? Then talk to her about that, not us. You're both going to have to make accommodations for each other, and you need to work out all that stuff together before you even think about signing a lease. Also, don't get yourself into a situation where you need each others income. What I mean is, make sure that if you guys were to break up, you could still either afford the place on your own, know someone who will move in with you, or afford to move somewhere else. And make sure she is able to do the same. If you guys neglect to do this stuff, this situation could turn out very badly for one or both of you. Having to break a lease is never fun, or cheap.