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GF hates me smoking...

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by mad_dog_dallas, Oct 8, 2007.

  1. Recently, my girlfriend and I have been talking about me smokin pot (its kind of a recent development compared to how long we've been together) and she hates it with a passion. I ask her why she hates it so much and she tells me that "she just does" and said that she could never put up with me smoking even once a week. We've gone back and forth saying that "if i loved her i would quit" and "if she loved me she would let me do it" and blah blah blah, but we can never reach a decision that both of us are happy with. I lover her to death - i would literally DIE for her, but I feel like she tryin to control my life by telling me i can't toke when i want to. We "agreed" on once a month but there's no way in hell i could do that, so I'm just gonna tell her that i smoke once a month. I dont really know what to do because I want to keep her in my life since she's the best thing that ever happened to me but I also love smoking pot. Could someone give me some advice in this situation?
     
  2. She doesn't like the person you become while you're high..
    Which means she can't appreciate your entire personality, just what you put on for her when you meet up with her.
    It's her fault, not yours.
     
  3. It's a stupid preconceived notion she has have pot; you'll never convince her otherwise. I've been in that boat before.
     
  4. Well, I've been in the same situation before except mine was on a different drug... To make a long story short, I was on cocaine and that's actually how me and hubby (BF at the time) met. He made a decision to stop because we almost broke up over it once. I told him that I quit, but I was going behind his back and doing it everyday. (which is what you will be doing) He knew I was doing it and let it go on for about 2 months and then it got to the point where I was putting it before anything and our relationship was going downhill. He put a stop to it, kinda like a rehab program, but he was a lot meaner than that. He told me that he loved me and didn't want to see me snort my life away. I came to the realization that he meant more to me than any drug. Granted, cocaine is A LOT worse than weed would EVER be, but that's my little bit of advice. If you love her and she wants you to quit, you have to figure out if she means THAT much to you. Good luck dude.

    Peace:)
     
  5. Im sure theres things about her that bugs you like things shes enjoys, so the best thing to do is compromise tell her that you wont smoke around her, and try not too go around her some time after you smoked, but its not good ruining a realtionship over some form of enjoyment.
     
  6. We've all been in that situation, I used to just change the subject. She wasn't as demanding as your girlfriend sounds though.
     
  7. whats more crazy is that she has never known when i was high around her. she simply couldn't tell...and i've done it quite a few times. I just don't get why she hates it when 1) she can't even tell when im high and 2) it hasn't had any other negative effects on our relationship. It's almost like she wants me to stop "just because."
     
  8. Continue to be high in her presence until you can prove to her that she cannot tell when you are or aren't high, that should change things a bit.

    If it really comes down to choosing either weed or your girl, drop the green. She sounds like a good catch.
     
  9. If she could come up with a more specific reason why she doesn't like it than "I just don't", it might be easier to combat. But since that is her reasoning, I wonder if she even knows why she doesn't like it herself.

    Lying to her about how much you smoke isn't going to make things any better, and if you quit you're just being completely untrue to yourself.

    If you enjoy smoking, and it doesn't interfere with having a normal life, then she should accept that as part of who you are just as much as her hobbies make her who she is.

    If she just can't accept that and still doesn't like you smoking, "just because", then I really don't see the relationship going anywhere good. If you have to change who you are for someone to love you more, that isn't the right person for you.
     
  10. I was just recently in the same situation, my girl just said she didn't like it and could never give me a straight answer. I loved the girl to death like you but I ended up splitting with her because she couldn't except me for who I was. Now, weed doesn't define me as a person (though I do LOVE weed) but in your situation, if it comes down to her or the tree, go for the girl man. Or as in Half Baked "I love weed, LOVE IT! But not as much as I love pussy!".​
     

  11. So, what you're saying, is that he should abandon his principles and live in a controlling relationship so that he can get pussy?

    Sounds fun. :rolleyes:
     
  12. The problem here is that it sounds like your gf thinks you want weed and are choosing it over her. Women usually don't care that you tried weed or any other drug, but if you need it, they act all offended, like, "WHAT? You need something besides me?"

    FUCK THAT.

    My gf at first told me she didn't care and then changed her mind about a month into our relationship.

    I told her I wouldn't do it anymore and just did it anyway. It was weighing on my conscience and I told her about how I was doing it behind her back, we had a big fight over it and she stormed out of my house.

    She now says that if I ever do it again she is breaking up with me. I am still going to smoke, I love her, but if she can't accept me for what I am and what I choose to do, then I think I am better off without her.

    Just think, life is short, do what you want.
     
  13. Well if she really is controlling then I would dump her, asking someone to stop smoking doesn't seem that controlling to me.

    "The problem here is that it sounds like your gf thinks you want weed and are choosing it over her"

    This seems like the problem, By standing up and saying no I don't want to stop smoking has to threaten her a little so show her that you really love her and that you don't choose weed over her. If she were to dump you just because you were just smoking then she doesn't truly love you.
     
  14. what, this is bullshit, some people are fucking annoying when they are high and that's just the way it is. Either you dont talk to her when your high (which it looks like you will be doing anyway seeing as you are going to lie to her) or try to educate her on pot and try it with you, it's something that you love and that has changed your life and tell her all the benefits bla bla bla.. i dont think you should lie to her about it, she is going to find out then it will be a big fight because you were lying about something that she HATES. Frankly i think she is being immature trying to stop you from doing it (she's in her early 20's/ late teens??). Tell her that you will not stop, and you dont want to promise her or agree that you will because you wont. That is just the way it is and she can take it or leave it but you love her. You can tell her that you wont get high around her.. cal her when your hig... etc. because you will make compromises for the relationship, and she should too knowing that you are DOing something that she HATES sometmes when she isnt around. But you ARENT stopping and that's that.
     

  15. Yeah this is so juvinille. Tell her that. She is either just trying to start drama, or she needs to know that you 'love her'. So show her that you love her goddamnit! and end this crazyness!
     
  16. "if you love me you'd quit" fuck that. If you love smoking then smoke on. If she tries to change who you are that's fucked in my opinion. If her reason for her hating smoking is "because I do" that's not a fucking reason. Does she drink? Thats worse than sparking the green. Tell her to stop drinking and if she asks "why should i?" say the exact same reasons she gives you for wanting you to stop. That's messed up man. She should love you for who you are, and accept you for who you are. I'm all for you buddy. If she loves you she should respect your decisions. It would be different if it was robbing banks or stealing cars or something, but smoking the ganja, man that's just wack.
     
  17. You need to talk about it more with her. Does she feel the same way about alcohol, tobacco, etc?
     
  18. obviously you're still with her even after shes laid down her law and obviously shes still with you

    either accept her terms if shes worth giving it up or tell her flat out I like doing this drug and thats that if you don't like it get the fuck outta my life

    anything beyond such straight forward thinking is just emotional bullshit you both have going for ya

    if you enjoy that shit then keep at it if not take it to a freakin' head and choose

    weed and losing her stubborn ass or no weed and her happy shes managed to control you
     
  19. Oh my god it's like looking at my past. I went through the EXACT same thing, with just about the EXACT same fight! Same story, been with this chick a long time, started smoking, she didn't like it, same words exchanged, agreed on once a month only. Don't LIE!!! Trust me!

    I was smoking with a buddy and I lost track of time, well I held the pipe up to my mouth, and took a hit, When I went to blow out the smoke, there was my girlfriend sitting in the driveway.... Yeah thats the last time we were together. Don't lie about it, it will only blow up in your face.

    What I want you to do is sit down with her, go over the facts, the good and the bad about pot, shit like that. Really sit her down, and make sure she is on the same level. Just say to her "Listen, this is MY life, your a very big part of it, and i want to keep it like that, but I'm getting older and I want to try new things. I want you to support me in anything I do." something like that. Tell her just don't talk for 10 min. If she loves you in ANY way she will shut the hell up and listen to you for those 10 min. Then take her opinion into consideration, like DONT SMOKE AROUND HER! Duh, easy one. Or DONT BE HIGH AROUND HERE, another easy one. Little things like that can keep everyone nice and happy. Or another one would be, When your high and she calls, tell her right off the bat that your high, but would still like to talk to her or something. Just BE HONEST my friend! I have been down the same exact road, but the only problem is, no one gave me this advice that I'm giving you, and I lost someone I once loved very much. Yeah I moved on and now have the most kickass girlfriend in the world, but still, it sucked.
     

  20. Behold! The Power of Pussy!

    But on the serious tip, find a different girl who can accept you for who you really are.
     

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