Hey guys, I got a problem. I got a real good friend, I have known him since I was about 10 or so, and basically he was with a girl for almost two years, they spent like everyday together, and were basically attached/in love, whatever you want to call it. Then she broke up with him and now he is a mess, won't even get out of the house. I really can't help him anymore because he doesn't want to go out and fuck other women, it seems like he wants to stay home and be depressed. What the fuck is his deal? Is this normal? What can I do to make him get over this stupid shit and back to his normal self? What would you do if you had a tough breakup that really hurt you, or what did you when you broke up with your first girlfriend that fixed things, I am all out of ideas. It's hard to help him because I don't think he even has the ability to get new pussy anymore, but any advice on how to get over this dumb breakup will be helpful.
The only way is to meet new women. The only way. Now, you might not meet one the first go around, maybe not even the second, but you will. He'll eventually get over it, everyone does, no matter how attached you are.
The key is CHANGE I bet while moping, hes in the same habits as he was while dating said girl, listening to the same music, doing the same things, looking at pictures etc. While mourning time is all well and good, eventually hes going to have to get over her, especially if its a clear cut, there is no more relationship. Help him out, go over one day and help him clean up his stuff, move funiture around with him, to change up his place ( if he lives on his own ), that will help make it different from when she was around. Have him listen to some new music, toss all the old lovey-dovey stuff out the window, or if he insists on keeping them, let him, but you hold on to it until he is clearly over the situation, and her, then you can give it back, and likely, he'll get rid of it. Find a way to get him out of the house, even if its just a walk or something. Physical activity definitely helps the mind. And friends moral support is always great too, especially if he has any female friends, as they can help him gain some self confidence back. But those are things that are helping me specifically, so doesn't mean its going to work, but could. Its really up to him when hes going to let it go and get over it, you can just kind of help him along.
First relationships are tough as shit to get over. But yeah the only thing that can help him get over it is to meet other girls. If you are hanging out with some girls, invite him over to hangout. It doesn't have to be with the intention of getting him laid but female interaction will help him see that there are other cool girls in the world and will help get his mind off of his ex.
Even if you're not hanging out with girls. Just keep inviting him to hang out, or go hang out with him if he's all mopey.
Give him time. Just keep doing things like you normally would...see if he wants to chill but just be normal. Don't call all day trying to force him out just invite him..if he goes great..if not then try another day. Have you not been in this situation before? Don't you remember what it's like? Really? I never did the same things I did in the relationship when trying to get over it.. I avoid the music cause it reminded me of them and hated watching movies I saw with them cause again..it reminded me of them. I always tried NOT thinking about them..not the exact opposite.
Yeah honestly though it seems like a lost cause, I tried bringing him out with me, basically dragged him to two clubs, which are easy, since you don't even have to talk cuz it's so loud, but this guy would just stand there and be all quiet and sad. The problem is he goes to a school out of the city and he is only here on the weekends, so the times I can hang out with him are basically when he is home for 2 days, and it really is hard to just hang out and not do shit for the weekend for me. I always try and bring him around girls but it's gotten to the point where they think he is weird and they are calling it out and it just makes shit worse. I don't think he is capable of meeting girls right now, he has alot of natural ability but it is just not coming out. He is depressed even if he doesn't act like it, and I feel like he needs to put in some work and just fuck some girls but he is too lost and confused. And anytime he thinks about her it totally ruins his mood, like he would just randomly get mad out of nowhere and I always know why, I've been in the situation before, but for me it was easy, all I did was go out and have some one night stands, and basically I was out all the time until I had no time to think about my ex, he is not like me. Also I had alot of girls that I talked to basically the whole day so it would keep me busy with texting and such. I just don't know how to help him if he cannot pull any chicks right now.
Look bruh. Theres really not much that you can do for him right now. The pain that he is going through is extremely personal, and its fuckin with him emotionally. Just give it time, he'll bounce back. Now if you think hes gonna do something drastic, like self mutilation, then step in. But as of now, everything is gonna be internalized. I went through something very similar to his situation not too long ago. I had to learn from it and heal..on my own. again, just give it some time.
I have an album that reminds me of my last girl. Not a favorite or anything, just a the mood of the song reminded me a lot of her. Then she broke up with me. I havent put on that album on once ever since. I still think of her when im not busy doing something else. But at least I am forgetting and moving on.
Thanks Friends For sharing such a useful advices With us I Found it really very useful For Myself Keep sharing.
Hm am I the first one to say this? Man just get him to smoke a FAT ASS sack and whenever you want your dumb friend back just smoke him a fat sack lol. Maybe even take him to a club or some to rave on some beans. But most of all get that THC flowing through him.