Something I imagined when I was young: To enter an altered state of consciousness, during nightly sleep or otherwise, and there, interact with others in a very 'physical' way. To experience a state of awareness where learning/sharing/joy would take place, as it does here, but where the physical limitation that material life imposes is removed. That sounded like an interesting thing to realise, as do many other ideas that can be chosen along the way. But instead of searching for what I want or need, trying this or that, getting it right, getting it wrong, pretty much as many usually do it. What if I could find a way to experience what I actually need, directly, so that I might evolve in a way that I wasn't capable of doing by myself? God without power can never be god, just as power without god will never be real power. Shall I seek to acquire power to do the things I want, change what needs changing, make the world how I want it to be, when even having small amounts of it are so easily corrupted? Or should I follow a path that allows god into my life, and just lets things be as they are? What if I just have faith that whatever I might think I know or need, god knows better. So if I let go of the desire for knowledge and power, and just focus on feeling, expressing, allowing, accepting, the truth of who I feel I am, while opening to what is behind this, perhaps I'll start to feel a sense of this Presence as I go about my life? Perhaps I'll see life differently, until it reaches a point where having faith is no longer necessary; it is just how things are. I might choose to write, as well as reveal my journey as I go, so it can teach me, remind me, reveal to me, who I am, more than anything else, especially if I ever find myself doubting myself. It would become my own 'word', my companion, as it would be felt as god revealing himself to me, or me talking to myself with god. I could never really help another if I wasn't able to help myself first. Who I am does not matter, as who 'I' am is not important. All that matters, all that has ever mattered, is bringing god into the world. I wrote recently that I was here to think of god. Thinking of god has brought me to this point. In order to go further, something has to change, and for that to happen, I must get out of the way completely.