George Carlin - Bad American

This guy still cracks me up after all these years, A friend sent it to my mailbox,figured I'd let everyone see it.....peace...


I am your worst nightmare,I am a BAD American.
I am George Carlin.

I like big cars,big hooters,and big paychecks.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel government funtionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I believe that if you are selling me a big mac,you'd better do it in english.

I'm not in touch with my feelings,and I like it that way. I believe that it does not take a village to raise a child, but it does take two parents.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer,And smoking pot doesn't make you a psycopathic madman.

I want to know which it is exactly where the reverend Jesse Jackson preaches,and where does he get his money,and why is he always part of the problem and never the solution.

I believe if she has her lips on your willie,it is sex,and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at blockbuster,in fact,if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college,you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has the right to pray to his or her God or Gods,just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality. I believe it's called Boy scouts for a reason. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the fourth of july.My heroes are John Wayne,the Simpsons,and whomever cancelled Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich.I don't pity the poor.I know Pro Wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. I thin Global Warming is a big lie. Where are the experts now that I'm freezing my ass off through a long winter.

I've never owned a slave,or was a slave,I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt,I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by Turks and niether have you,so shut up already.

I think if you are to stupid to know how a ballot works,I most certainly dont you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I think if you are in the passing lane,and not passing traffic,your license should be revoked,and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

If all that makes me a BAD American,then yes I'm a BAD American,so what, piss off whiner,It's time we Bad Americans took our country back.