GC forum aka my therapist.

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by hazyyxo, May 12, 2011.

  1. So this is just me venting.
    Because I can't tell anyone my problems.. I feel I dont want the sympathy anymore, and mainly... I keep to myself .

    I am a 21 y/o female who did not go back to college, could have been graduating this year. I think my bulimia was at its worst when I just gave up on school. ( 2 yrs ago).
    My past sexual relationships/failed "relations" have made my anxiety/depression even worse. Im so very insecure.
    My mentality is so fucked up . I feel I cant go back to school or get a job that I enjoy unless I fix myself physically first

    Ex) I want a nosejob so I can actually look and feel my age.
    I want to stop this vicious eating disorder so I can maintain a healthy weight and quit being skinny one day and then gaining it back..

    I ....need...help. And marijuana is not always the solution.
  2. Have you sought out therapy?
  3. No. Deep down I feel I should. I guess Im relying on my mom to tell me I need help first. Maybe I should grow up and get my own therapist.
  4. Yeah just get one. I go to one, forced to, and i dont even have any problems. Still mine is pretty dope. And i know how you feel but remember that if anyone thinks negatively of you, its cause they dont want to focus on their own faults/problems. Best of luck to you blade
  5. Thanks. Its so bad whatever it is. Im scared to be diagnosed.. I feel like Im too young to be depressed, or have social phobia or w.e the hell it is I truly have. I may even be creating these problems on my own. I cnt even carry a conversation whether serious or funny ones, with the few friends I have, not to mention family members.
  6. You should absolutely seek therapy. Eating disorder, possibly body dysmorphia (you say you feel like you need a nose job?), anxiety, and depression is far too much to try to handle on your own. I want to stress the importance of finding the RIGHT therapist for you. Too often people try therapy once or twice but never follow through because they aren't having the experience they want. Don't be afraid to visit a few people before committing, but definitely seek treatment. A good therapist will help you develop tools to help you combat all of the things you're going through. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health; you wouldn't avoid going to the doctor if your arm was broken, right? The earlier you try to get help, the more successful you'll be!

    Try to focus on being healthy, not skinny. Throw out the scale. Don't compare yourself to models that are airbrushed and composed of parts from 10 different girls 'cause it's not realistic. Your body is yours forever, you've gotta learn to love it and take care of it (and the right therapy will help you greatly with this). At 21, failed relationships are common and expected. Learn from them, don't dwell on them. And it's NEVER too late to go back to school. You're 21, you have forever. Don't rely on mom to get your recovery in motion. Take the appropriate steps and you'll be okay :]
  7. ^^what Phro said exactly- it's a hard thing to recover from but if you find the right treatment it can be done. Peace
  8. Its not uncommon at all for people to need help, and its not something to be embarrassed about.
  9. #9 gymverb, May 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2011
    Hey girl, I've struggled with an ED, anxiety, depression and self harm for years now, but currently in recovery and doing very good! You can do it and you are not the only person out there. Remember that your ED is About more than weight - what's the reason? Family? School? For me it was a relief of anxiety and it calmed me down. You can do it! Recovery sucks but it feels so much better than spending 24/7 thinking about food.

    I took sharpies and x'd out all nurtition labels or just pulled them off, took a hammer to my scale, even burned my "skinny" pants. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

    Edit: assuming you're in America, NAMI & NEDA are great orginzations that can help you find a good treatment provider.
  10. First of all yo have to love you for YOU babe! I wake up every morning and tell myself I'm the shyt, the bees knees! Even some days I'm quick to point out my own faults- drinking, weird skin, head is kinda big,eyebrows too thick, i'm short, and a few others but all that aside I know that if I make a point of it to make myself feel bad about these so called short comings then it leaves an opening for other people to criticize it also which will only make matters worse therefore I hold my big head high and walk around like I'm the best thing since weed brownies and at the end of the day if I didnt convince anyone other than myself of this, at least I convinced the most important person- myself! ;)
  11. thankyou for your responses, I truly appreciate it! Even if this is just a forum. Its the simple fact you even took the time to respond and read my complaints.

    For now, Im trying to stop compare myself to others and just work on what will satisfy me. Small steps with eating disorder, and doing the right thing towards getting my college education back on track. (Fashion school and living in NYC)..My dream.

    thanks again..its hard with my insecurities, but I know I can do it

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