Yesterday a few boys we're in my basement and we we're passing around the bong discussing funny things that happened too them during sex. Alot of them wern't that funny just weird, but this one stood out, lol. My friend hooked up with this jewish chick at a party we we're both at ( I got piss drunk so I dont know many details ) and they went to the back room too fuck. He said they we're talking dirty too eachother and he somehow blurted out "I'm gonna go hitler on your ass!" She stopped, slapped him in the face, got dressed and just left the party, she took alot of offense too it. Lets here your funny stories
HAHAHAHA im def going to do that from now on. I fucked this crazy chick last year that told me she wish she had a cock so she could fuck someone up the ass. It was an interesting night... (No, nothing was shoved up my ass)
hahahahaha that was the funniest thing i read today. if i ever fuck a jewsish girl i am def saying that. it would be worth it. hahaha
I was pretty drunk (excuse for everything) and I farted really loud while getting dome. Can't really play that shit off like it didn't happen so all I could do was laugh
This girl i was bangin, randomly told me she was a freak and told me she liked to get choked......hmmmmmm haha well i slapped her and told her to shut up and proceeded to choke a bitch
one time in high school i told my boyfriend mid-sex, "you feel so good" and he was like "yeah, you too." coulda just stopped there but nooooo, my wierd ass had to continue with, "no. seriously. like, they should make a sam-chair that has like a replica of your dick and then when you sit on it, it feels as good as this does!" *cricket... cricket* he just looked at me like, WTF and started cracking up. ohhhhhhhh, meth.
yeah no shit... not proud of it, but i more than dabbled in it throughout high school. now i stick to the budz and the bubbly =)
I was gettin some dome from this bitch in France one time and I was sharing a room with my buddy. And the lights were all off and I thought my buddy was sleeping and so I'm high as hell laying there in the dark listening to this girl suck me off and it sounded so goddamn funny that I burst out laughing and I guess my buddy had woken up because he started cracking up too from the other bed. Its always a favorite to tell the boys when we're gettin drunk.
One time in the middle of it all, my girlfriend queefed. Several times. Loudly. We both just died laughing. We laughed so hard we couldn't even finish, which I guess is the sad part of the story. We're still good friends now, even though we broke up, and that story always comes up when we see each other.
One word; QUEEF It happens to all girls. Especially if you pull your dick out all the way in doggy style and then shove it back in. It's just air getting all up in there but it's still funny. You gotta laugh about it... its more fun to laugh than to get all embarrassed about it. I've had a couple guys fart in the middle of sex... oh well, its funny and we laughed it off and kept going. That is the greatest! I'm so doing that... I'd be more of the "pound it" kind of girl... bumpin fists you know?! That'd be funny too.
my girl likes 2 b hit and choked while were fucking so i went 2 slap her for the first time after finally building up enough courage to do it she moved her head and i kinda just hit her in the side of the head
I was watching the Super Bowl at my parent's house with some friends and ran to my sister's room to fuck my girlfriend during half time. I could feel that it went on for a good 15 minutes, so I faked like I came so I could go back to watching the game. That was the first time a condom broke on me. So to save face, I made my girlfriend take the morning after pill which I hear gives you really bad cramps.
so this happened a couple times after having sex with my bf we like smoking a bowl before fucking so obviously were about ready to pass out after the sex and bud so after the romp my bf popped in a movie and came back to bed he climbed back on top of me and we just watched whatever was on now hes about 150 and i'm 105 you can only guess what happened... he zoned out, half asleep while still laying on top of me i had to like gasp for him to gtfo lol i'm just glad it didn't happen while we were fucking
Me and my girlfriend were fuckin on my bed, and I gave her a series of hard thrusts and her head hit my nightstand and my lamp that was on top fell on her . Another time we were goin at it doggy style and I grabbed her and threw her on her back, and I didn't realize we were so close to the wall, I ended up throwing her smacking her head against the wall. She almost cried. It was awkward at first. And then I came
Lol I smoked a bowl just before going to have sex with my boyfriend and when he was getting me to mount him girl on top style I was so high I fell off and scratched his shoulder in the process. Luckily I laughed about it and had him fuck me doggie style, but as he's doing it he smacked my head into the head board.
1. there was this one chick. the sex was bad. she laid there like a dead fish. and smelled like one too. so i said fuck it and started twisting my face up into stupid ass grimaces and made funny sex moans and she was like omg stop and i didnt stop and she tried bucking me off so i was like "OH SHIT IM BOUT TO WIN THE MOTHAFUCKIN RODEO!! OH SHIT IM CUMMING!!! NO CONDOM!!! SKKEET SKEET SKEET!!!" then i said j/p. 2. i was off some ecstacy and you know how your mind kind of wanders sometimes. well multiply that by like 10 because i was in the middle of the roll and for some reason i blurted out "damn i need to change my antifreeze" because the smell of sex reminded me ROFL. ol girl just looked at me and started laughing and was like "WHAT?! antifreeze? are you overheating? need a break?" and i told her naw i was referring to my car. she COULDNT believe that i was thinking about car maintenance in the middle of sex. i couldnt either. its all good though.
That's definitely a good one. Also good? A biiig "Yooooou're welcome... " Most effective in the first few recovering moments. The more arrogant you sound, the better the effect.