funny stuff

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by rohawkj, Sep 19, 2009.

  1. i used to do drugs. i still do, but i used to, too.

    My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah".

    I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

    Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing but fish going "Ahhh, fuck! I thought I looked like that rock!"

    I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry," so it died.

    I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried. It never kicked in.

    I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.

    If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink. But if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a fucking non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholism is a problem too.

    I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.

    I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

    It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

    When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
  2. that made my night...+rep for makin me smile:D edit: plus your avatar is CHUCK FUCKIN NORRIS!!! yea...

  3. lol 'preciate ya!
  4. rip Mitch Hedberg
  5. absolutely. that guy was fuckin awesome. saw him live in nashville 3 times at zany's while he was there. stoner comedy at its best.

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