Funny Stoned conversations with teachers/bosses

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by wanmower, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. I saw a thread about funny stoned convos with parents which was really funny. the only thing funnier than being around parents is being stoned around teachers and/or bosses.
    share your stories!
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    i go to an extremely strict and religious (Jewish Orthodox) school...but there are still a few stoners. i smoke every lunch and am stoned for the rest of the afternoon. here are some funny (well, they're funny to me) conversations ive had with my teachers.

    1) history class....the teacher is hellla strict and takes no nonsense.

    Teacher:....and Hitler was actually born in Austria..
    Me: WHAT????
    *everyone wakes up and stares at me*
    Teacher: yes, what is there not to understand? i persume you know where Austria is?
    Me: YEA???but why would an Ozzi randomly decide to take over the world? don't they just drink beer and surf all day?
    Teacher: AUSTRIA is a country in Europe...Ozzis are from AUSTRALIA..a continent in the south pacific. Hitler did not come from Australia
    Me: ???Why do two countries have the same name? are they related?
    Teacher: see me after class...

    HAHA....after class she was like what are you on...and i just told her that i was sleep deprived..

    2) Chemistry....teacher is hella chill

    Me: HEYY!!!!
    Teacher: oh, hello how are you?
    Me: im starving...i could eat a cow
    Teach: didnt you just have lunch?
    Me: yea but im still hungry
    Me: OMG!!!NO!!!
    Teacher:? whats wrong?
    Meh, never mind...i though my mom forgot to pack gatorade in my lunch...

    few mins later

    Teacher: oh dear, why are your eyes so red?
    Me: oh, i sneezed on my eyes
    Teacher: ?????
    Me: i mean, Dima (friend) sneezed in my eye..
    Teach: why would he do that?
    Me: because i forgot to pack him a bowl
    Teacher: ?
    *realizing what i said*
    Me: i forgot to pack him a bowl of cereal last night...he slept over and wanted to eat cereal this morning, but i ran out of cereal, so he sneezed in my eyes
    Teacher: ?????you kids are crazy

    3) PreCal
    teacher: uh....i forgot.how many grams are in an ounce?
    (i wake up, and practically shout):28.35
    teacher: wow....you're really good at measurement.good job!

    share some of yours
     
  2. oh my god that last one is so damn funny
     
  3. That last one made me laugh, too
     
  4. This isn't really a conversation, but it was still awesome as I was uber high. Haha.

    My math teacher was in front of the class reading the answers from last night's homework from the overhead and for some reason he nonchalantly switched over into a British accent. No one noticed until this one chick yelled from the back, "I didn't know you were British!" from the back of the room. My teacher turns from the overhead and faces us while saying in an Australian accent, "Crickey! I'm sure you're mistaken." That poor girl looked so confused. Haha. But for the rest of the period we just yelled out all the different accents we could think of to see if we could stump him. But he managed to do them all; German, Italian, Spanish, Scottish, Danish, Russian, etc. Lol. It was epic.
     

  5. My algebra teacher is indian with a strong accent
    when i go to his class high its the fukin best hahaha
    just geek the fuk out
     
  6. #6 fourtwenty4201, Jan 14, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2010
    me: *holds blunt wrap up to teachers face* smell!
    teacher: *smells* mmm purple
    me: purplishious
    teacher: that has to do with weed, doesnt it?
    me: yep
    teacher: but its a cigar...?
    me: *explains how to gut a blunt and fill it*
    teacher: i have to stop talking to you.



    me: i went to the weed march this weekend!
    same teacher: they have those here? they had those in B.C too
    me: oh really? once a year?
    same teacher: no like once a week
    me: you loved that shit didnt you?



    me and a friend were waiting for class to start and i pointed out on of the dudes last names on the grad pictures was "hempseed" right as one of my teachers was walking by

    me: look dude! hempseed!
    buddy: HA
    teacher: whats that?
    me: his name *points*
    teacher: hmmm...*walks away*
    me: you dont smoke hemp!
    teacher: i know it has no THC, there wouldnt be a point
    me: you know whats good!



    the most bait convo with a teacher was all because of my friend (who was wearing his hat over his eyes to hide the redness)

    teacher: why is your hat so low? *moves hat looks at eyes*
    him: my brother tried to put my hat on like pants
    me: k i gotta dip bye! *runs*


    WHAT THE FUCK?!?! he still hasnt lived that down. my brother tried top put my hate on like pants...fucking moron, but hes a good friend of mine still lol.


    teacher:(infront of the class, for next to no reason, the book we were reading mentioned weed) ive always wanted to try a doobie


    teacher: (after a class debait on marijuana) man, you are one commited po thead (yes po thead, not pot head)



    i was doing volunteer work with my science teacher, she needed me too organise the beakers and test tubes and shit, so she lead me in to the room full of beakers and shit and i just say "you know how many bongs i could make with this shit?!"
    teacher *looks at me and walks away*


    same teacher as the first two: write anything on the board that you think creates an identity.
    i went up and wrote "smoking marijuana"


    talking about an over night school trip
    teacher: last year one kid got sent home for drugs
    me: whats drugs!? you betta not be talking bout my mary jane!!




    im so open about weed in my school. my mom blazes with me so if i ever got a call home because of it she would be like "if only you knew"
     
  7. Lmao I think the only way I'll remember how many grams are in an ounce is cause of bud.

    I can't talk to teachers when I'm stoned,
    I start trippin out.
    & If they say something funny I'll laugh and that'll show how baaaaaaked I am, lol.

    :smoke:
     
  8. lol the last one is hilarious
     
  9. allot of convo's. I don't remember lol

    Working on cars blazed at work.. this is when I first started smoking.. I would just lay there starring at the bottom of a car expecting it to fix it's self. we had 4 bays, 4 different shops. single bay shops. each had it's own bathroom etc.

    One day we just got done taking a huge gravity rip out of a bottle. and not but 30 seconds later the boss walks in.. looks at me.. and was all "have you been smoking in here?". I said.. "Nope.." he looked at me.. and said "bullshit" and walked away lol.
     

  10. Dude, I did the exact same thing in physics once. Someone asked how many grams were in an ounce and I shouted out "28.35." The kids in the class that know I smoke just laughed and the others sat there looking confused. The teacher was fairly impressed. Who says that weed doesn't teach you anything?
     
  11. The last one reminds me of when I was in Humanities. We were talking about drugs and he asked what MDMA was. I was the only one who knew. Everyone seemed surprised
     

  12. Yeah, I had this happen to me a couple times. Teachers would talk about things like DMT, or MDMA, and only maybe a couple people in a class of 50-60 knew, includeing me. Its a good thing(in a martha stewart voice)
     
  13. ^:D i lol'd

    One time i went to school high and in history our teacher was talking about g. washington and for some reason we were talking about the cherry tree. it went like this:
    Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
    admitted doing it. Don't you wonder why his father didn't punish him?"
    Me (out of nowhere): "Maybe it was cuz he still had the ax in his hand." :hello:
    totally random moment, blurted it out. got a lot of laughs tho and i think the teacher knew i was faded
     

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